I was sitting next to Wondersis on a couch in our parents’ living room yesterday. She was reading our mom’s new issue of Cooking Light magazine and I was looking over her shoulder at the recipes.

I reached across and pointed to the word “breast” in the magazine. “Look,” I said. “Breast.” Then I laughed.

Wondersis looked at me like I was some pitiful, horny adolescent, then turned her attention back to the magazine.

A moment later, feeling appropriately challenged to one-up my level of immaturity, she pointed to the word “bone.” We both laughed. Wondersis also snorted. She does that.

And so began a game that lasted 30 minutes, each of us scanning the pages of a cooking magazine to find words that we could take completely out of context and infuse with unholy connotations. Among our findings:

• Cumin (mispronounced to sound like comin')
• Browned bits
• Baked
• Shiitake
• Scraping
• Strips
• Sprinkle
• Salty

Wondersis and I sometimes go six months without seeing each other, but when we get together in the presence of our parents, we each revert back to the behavior of a stupid, giggling nine-year-old. In addition to the cooking magazine erotica game, we were smacking each other in the back of the head for no reason and making inappropriate remarks about the little plastic Cinderella figurine on the birthday cake my mother bought for Barney’s Biggest Fan.

Later in the afternoon, my father asked me this:

“Danny, have you had your cholesterol checked lately.”

“No,” I said.

“Well, you should,” he said. “And when you do, your mother and I have found a magic bullet that can lower your cholesterol by 25%. Would you like to know what it is?”

“Um, sure.”

A pregnant pause. I’m expecting him to say something radical, like flax seeds or heroin or dried trout turds.

“Cinnamon!” he exclaimed.

I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing in his face and Wondersis stood up and bolted from the room. I could see her busting a gut in the living room while I sat there and listened to my father, a very intelligent man, tell me that if I add a half-teaspoon of cinnamon on my oatmeal in the mornings, I might live longer.

After he’d finished his lesson, I asked him if he knew of any medicinal uses for cumin.

Then I heard Wondersis snort in the other room.

Comments

Is ALL adult conversation suspended when you and wondersis get together?!

That is WAY too fun. I want to know if the next generation up does that when we're not around. Our parents and aunts and uncles..you think they talk about stupid stuff? I see it in my family up to 60..never older though. Thank GOD for people w/ a sence or humor.

OMG! Can you hear ME snorting now? That is damn funny!!

Oh, I'm sure y'all don't require each other's presence to act like 9 year olds. It just makes it so much more fun.

I see my siblings more frequently, But we only get to church together maybe 2x a year. These are the times we revert back to fullout unacceptable behavior.
Bevis and Butthead touched a generation. How have we gotten on without them

A family that snorts together, stays together.
;)
Also, babycarrot sister and I still tease each other like we were twelve. Twelve was a good year for teasing.

My older sister taught me (in church) to read through the hymnal, and after every title put "In bed". Thus, we sang "Oh! What a Wonder His Love Is (In bed)" and "Just As I Am (In bed)" You get the idea. Our father, the minister, did not find us funny.

Tammy.
I thought that was limited to adding to a fortune cookie. now everytime i am singing hymns at chruch i am either going to fall out laughing (Rock Of Ages, The Lord Liveth, or Amazing Grace) or not be abel to sing at all because i am trying not to laugh.

Okay, wait...so are you saying that looking for love in a black bean chili recipe would be like looking for love in all the wrong places?

I think with our siblings, we can't hide who we once were and so can act like jackasses without fear of rejection.

You need to work cumin into more recipes. Then you can say things like...should I put some cum...in in this?

And don't forget, I flipped you off first!

Dad feels it's important for everyone to know that it's a QUARTER of a teaspoon of cinnamon. You're giving out incorrect information over the internet, Dr.Dan. No need to be wasteful, no need to mock our father, our king, keyn y'hee ratzon.

cumin, we're not so sure what it does. I think it's just for fun.

love those kidlets of yours. Thank god for hotwife so they came out cute and with some manners!

PS - COCKSUCKER!!!

PWAH! cumin! whenever we see a "bump" roadsign, i yell "uglies!" to make my husband snort. ah, good times.

Wondersis, you're too kind. It was a great day being with you guys.

And you're right about the 1/4 teaspoon. We wouldn't want anyone O D-ing on cinnamon. That would be bad.

Heh heh. He said Shiitake

That's it, I am officially inviting myself to Thanksgiving dinner. I'll bring the cumin.

Box.

hah ~ and all this time I thought cinnamon in the gut was something akin to black pepper in the radiator.... a bit of a stop-leak... might want it if you dribbled your cumin, however.. ;-P

Heh. Sounds like my brother and me.

ahaha! Sarcastic J. Perfect!

did I ever tell you, you're my hero.

Box = HA!

Load

When I get together with my sisters, it is always a special time. The kind of special that scares outsiders.

Somehow, we all revert to our back-woods speech impediments, along with our voices being raised about two octaves and three notches on the volume knob. We finish each other's sentences and fall into ridiculous stories about our childhood.

I love it. Wouldn't change it for the world.