Lost
Part of Sunday’s Little League parade at Angels Stadium was the opportunity to watch the Angels game that followed the parade from seats that were, by my calculation, closer to the sun than they were to home plate. We were (and I swear I’m not embellishing this for comedic effect) seated in the last row at the top of the upper deck (which they call “upper view” level, which I contend puts an unnecessarily positive spin on a location that must be just a smidge too low to be included as part of the solar system). Suffice it to say that after scaling the stadium steps to reach our seats, I now feel prepared to summit Everest in cargo shorts and an old pair of New Balance.
Nevertheless, all was well in section 536. The boys marched on the field and were, as I predicted, awestruck by the experience of standing on the same field where hundreds of big leaguers have spit tobacco juice and scratched their nuts and blown snot rockets. Once we ascended the steps to our seats, the proud parents pulled out stacks of twenties and showered the kids with cotton candy and frozen lemonade. It was quite an afternoon.
Well, it was.
Until I lost my son.
We had descended the 10,000 steps in our section to get some hot dogs, hoping perhaps that the trace levels of protein in the ground pig snouts, guts and hooves that comprise ballpark wieners might be an antidote to the pending sugar crash my son would suffer as a result of the post-parade snarfing. We waited in line for what felt like an hour while some mouth-breather named Shane tried to figure out the touch-pad cash register in the snack bar (perhaps the thin air at this altitude was making him think a little too slowly). When I thought he’d finally figured it out, he gave me one too few hot dogs and one too many large Diet Cokes, which had to be voided by his acne-riddled supervisor and then re-keyed by Shane The Mouth-Breather. When we finally got our snoutdogs, I was good an irritated. I just wanted to resummit section 536 and eat my dogs already.
The Champ and I began to ascend the steps, and I had to look back after every other stair to make sure he hadn’t been distracted by all of the other Little Leaguers in our section.
“Come on, bud,” I said, still climbing.
“Look, dad,” he said, marveling at the view from 50,000 feet. “I can see our house from here.”
“That’s not our house, bud. It’s Greenland.”
“Oh.”
Two-thirds of the way up the steps, I check on him one last time. He was four steps behind me, and I kept climbing.
When I got to the top, he was gone.
“Where’s The Champ?” Hot Wife asked.
I turned, looked, saw 44,000 people. None of them was my son.
What followed is a slight blur. I remember urinating on myself. I remember calling his name once. TWICE. THREEEEEE TIIIIIIIMMMES! My fellow Yankee parents sensed our panic and mobilized, descending the 10,000 steps in a stampede of anxiety that must have looked to the people at the base of the stairs like the entire tee-ball contingent had bees in their hair and were running, screaming, trying to evade the swarm.
This episode went on for way too long. Maybe 15 minutes. Finally, a parent called our team mom and told her that my son had reappeared in our seats. Long story short, he turned left when he should have turned right, but he had he presence of mind (from my side of the family, naturally) to remove his ticket from his pocket and find his way back to where he belonged.
Shortly thereafter, I started breathing again.
I feel nauseated... from the too high seats and from the sudden loss of your son. Thank god he's smart enough to look at his ticket. And thank god Hot Wife didn't throttle you... :)
That is terrifying. Its at moments like these where I have trouble deciding between hugging them or killing them.
Worst nightmare.
Big crowd, lost child = PANIC.
Oh my god. Is he too big for the baby bjourn carrier???
That's it. We're never leaving the house again. The youngest one is the one I LIKE the best.
Why is it the 9 year old never gets lost???
(I'm SOOOOOOOO just kidding!!!)
OMYshit. This made my stomach flip. Horrifying.
And I hate those flippin' seats. They make me wanna puke to begin with. Reminds me of Dodger games when we were kids. No wonder I think baseball is so boring. What can you do from up there, but sit and get spinny?
Glad you all made it home together.
You've got a really smart kid there! Glad he found his way to 'home base'.
Well, at least your son won't end up like shane the mouth-breather, right?
At A&M, I went to my first football game and ended up in the same seats as you. I shit you not, the birds flew lower than I was sitting.
Holy crap, how scary. Thank god for presence of mind.
p.s. Go Yankees!
So I guess you just keep him at home for the next 15 years, so that you don't lose him again. That would be my advice.
My brother played for a farm team of the Oakland A's so we took the kids to one of his games...at which my son decided on his way back from the bathroom that he would make a pit stop in the freakin' souviner shop without telling anyone. I was in total panic!
Yeah, you're just not sure whether to hug them or squeeze their arm off as you march them back to their seats!
Man.. been there DONE THAT.. my little fella gets lost all the time. You would think by now at his ripe old age of 8 I would walk BEHIND him... nope.. don't do it. And every time we are in a crowd he goes POOF! I swear the little dude has some magic poofing dust or something!
Glad you found the Champ!
I know the feeling all too well, when the stomach just drops and is nowhere to be found. My daughter was about 4 and we were at McDonalds, the drive-thru line was too long and we were in a hurry so we went in, I turned to ask her what she wanted and she was gone. The people must have thought I was crazy screaming her name in such a small place! I finally saw her outside in the middle of the parkinglot following a lady. The lady in front of me was dressed similar to me, and when she left my daughter followed, thinking it was me. the look on her face when I ran out the door screaming for her to stop was utter confusion. It was the scariest feeling I'd ever had in my life! I imagine it would be much more stomach dropping in such a crowded place.
I'm sure my mom and dad can relate. I was always wandering off in crowds. Or there was that one time I hopped on an elevator in China Town in San Francisco, thinking the rest of my family was right behind me. They weren't. And I was stuck with an old Chinese couple who were trying to comfort me but who didn't speak English, so that wasn't much help. I was freaking the hell out but fortunately decided to just stay on the elevator and my parents found me about 15 minutes later. I don't know if it was scarier for them or for me.
Glad to hear that your little man had a clear enough mind to figure out where he needed to be.
That is the WORST feeling in the world, so sorry you both had to go through that.
Walk behind the child..hot wife needs to smack you. Good deal it turned out OK! Is he too old for the child leash? (I hate those things)
3rd row behind the dugout sunday..cards vs nationals..jealous?
That's seriously heartwarming.
When your son is old enough to read your blog and plots your death after reading about his anal rash, one can only hope that he will read this right after and realize that you blog because you love.
*sniff*
Sweet Jesus, I would have pissed myself as well. That has to be the worst feeling a parent can experience. And don't lie; he got those smarts from Hot Wife, didn't he? ;)
thats scary!! Glad everything worked out tho. I hate that sense of panic that comes. And even after you know everything is ok, you have that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach for days. Thank god you have yourself a bright kid!!
There is no panic like the panic of being in the middle of a huge crowd and suddenly realizing you don't know the precise location of your child. INSTANT nausea.
The Champ is one smart kiddo. Kudos to him for keeping his cool and finding his seat.
Thanks for making my stomach drop.
Parents don't like to hear these stories. Thank god you have a smart kid. The first ones are alwayes the smartest.
My youngest is a wanderer. We have to keep a close eye on him.
That is the worst feeling. I am glad he found you.
High elevation -> lack of oxygen -> temporary disorientation.
Very glad the Champ pulled through without an oxygen tank. You should groom him to scale Everest or go to Mars.
Very glad everyone is where they belong, safe & sound.
That is such a horrible feeling. When my godson was 2 years old, he got lost in a stadium. After running through the stadium for 10 minutes we finally found him hiding behind a post laughing. Then he ran again. He is evil.
How scary! I am terrified of losing my kids like that. What a relief that he found his way back to your seats!
This made me sick to my stomach. I can only imagine how you felt. Thank God you found him. And thank goodness he seems to be turning out as smart as his dad.
The same thing happen to me back in 1978...My parents and I were at a ball game and we got separated...I turned around and I couldn’t see them anywhere…I'm sure they will be back soon.......
Fuck. I started hyperventilating just reading this.
SO glad he got back safely, Danny. Shit, that had to have been scary.
-Blue
Oh my gosh, I've been there a few times, but never in a crowd that large or for that long. I can't imagine! Y'all are great parents - what a fun day!
We were there too on Sunday - great day! I was in the "Little League Party Suite" because we're VIPs you know... seriously, I ran into Adam the Ambulance Chaser in line to get into the Stadium - you both should have joined us! ;)
Oh yes, I'm sorry about losing your son. I'm sure he would have found an usher or something if he didn't have that ticket. Then we could have heard you paged by the announcer! Glad the story had a good ending!
At least you got to go to a major league game. Our leage went to a minor league game and still got stuck sitting in crappy seats. I'm glad the champ was smart enough to look at his ticket, my son would have paged us over the PA.
I grew up in a small town....quiet, everyone knew everyone.....had a pretty "free" childhood from a fairly young age, same story for my wife.....now, wife and I live in the Nation's Capital (Ottawa, Canada) and we're expecting our first in November, so we have to adjust to how shit goes down in the city.....that story terrifies me.
We lost my little brother once when he was a small child, maybe two years old. We were at a NASA Christmas party and he had walked off when all 10+ members of our extended family had their collective backs turned. Scariest feeling I have ever had. Low and behold the little shit was as content as could be hanging out in the stairwell. When my uncle found him, we cancelled the air force search party. Oh Lord.
what a smart kid. i'm glad he found himself!
My mum used to have to put a harness and leash on me till I was 6. I always used to wander off. It's not such a big deal over here in New Zealand because its a bit safer, but it still used to make my mum shit big square bricks when ever I went on "an adventure".
Glad everything worked out ok...apart from the new gray hairs it caused.
Wow, smart kid.