The Huck Finn Fishin’ Hole is really nothing more than an oversized swimming pool that gets restocked once each week with 800 pounds of catfish. But as Gary The Amish-Chaser opined yesterday while we were fishing there with our sons, the location and aesthetics of the place are irrelevant. As he put it, you score “major dad points” when you take your son fishing with his best friend. The boys could have been swallowed whole by a two-ton, angry catfish imported from the Three Mile Island Fish Hatchery and Gary and I still would have come out ahead on points because… dude, we took our sons fishing.

I haven’t been fishing since I was a wee little pisher (my dad took me once when I was but a wee tike and I caught a rainbow trout that was no larger than an average man’s pinky), so I know nothing of the customs and “best practices” (corporate term) one must follow. I learned yesterday that any halfway decent fishing trip starts at 7-11.

The 7-11 stage of the trip is called “gearing up.” The logic is that one must have the proper nutritional and hydrating distractions to pass the many, many, MANY hours spent with one’s line in the water without catching anything. When the boys asked why we were stopping at 7-11, Gary and I told them we were going shark fishing and 7-11 is where we buy chum. Once inside, the boys b-lined for the candy aisle:

We spent more then $20 on what can only be described as “staples.” Specifically: Hot Tamales, Junior Mints, Skittles, beef jerky, sunflower seeds, Gatorade, suckable candy that looks like a baby bottle, and suckable candy attached to a small, battery propelled fan. As far as The Champ and Gary’s son, Benny Cha-Cha, were concerned, the outing could have ended right then and it would have been the greatest day of their lives.

We listened to the High School Musical soundtrack all the way to the fishin’ hole, the boys serenading us from the backseat. There is a song on the CD called “Get Your Head In The Game,” and I insisted on repeating that line to the boys all afternoon (although when I think about it rationally, it doesn’t really matter where you “get your head” as long as you get it). When we arrived at Huck Finn’s, we snagged a container of bait, which in this particular case were mini marshmallows and about a dozen rather feisty meal worms who seemed particularly agitated about being skewered with a barbed hook and cast into a big pool brimming with dirty water and dirtier catfish.

We ultimately put our baited hooks in the water and waited. And waited. And waited. The boys became distracted and started chasing a small flock of chickens nearby.

After a 45-minute period during which Gary The Amish-Chaser lobbied for a new nickname and was thereupon renamed “Catfish Brown,” we decided to try to change our karma with Hot Tamales. We ate the whole bag, but the fish just weren’t biting.

We then moved to another location. And I caught a catfish.

Catching a catfish is like hooking-up with a 450-pound woman with a moustache and Cheeto-hands at a bar. Yes, you reeled it in – but what exactly do you plan to do with it? What made matters worse was that when we got the fish (which the boys named “Splashy”) to calm down enough so we could remove the hook from its mouth, we saw that it had a hole about the size of a golf ball on its right side. It was a rare leper catfish, so we threw it back.

Farewell, Splashy. We hardly knew ye.

Comments

Well down in these here parts them leper catfishes is the best, most flavorful one's in the lake. The more holes they gots on 'em, the tastier they be. Mmmmm Mmmmm, now there's some good cook'n.

What a handsome group of men!

Well, as long as there were SKITTLES involved, it was bound to be a success.

Maybe you shoulda put the hot tamales on the hooks??? I dunno.

Cheetoh hands. LOLOLOLOL Only someone with little kids would conceive of such a term...

oh my god, boy's day out - so cute!

Major brownie points for not taking them to Rancho Simi park to fish for "good eatin'" fish, and even higher marks for not trolling the Arroyo right next to it!

Well done Ahab. I hope you threw down a Starbucks (get the connection) for good measure. Men must fish to remind the animals that there is a food chain and that humans are indeed on top.

I was wondering what you planned to do with the catfish. Where I come from, NOBODY eats those things. They're nasty!

I am feeling all warm and fuzzy at the telling of your dadnboys day out......my husband thought hot tamales were agood weaning food, introduced our son to them when he was but weeks old...he still has yet to take him fishing. Great memories for your boy...good daddy.

"rare leper catfish"

*SNORT* ;^)

Fantastic adventure. Thanks for sharing, DGM!

Oh, and Gary the Amish-Chaser is MUCH better than Catfish Brown.

The Evil High School Musical Soundtrack accompanies the Karma family on many a road trip. I'm amazed that you didn't attempt to gouge your ears out with the fish hooks. Kudos to you.

"Catching a catfish is like hooking-up with a 450-pound woman with a moustache and Cheeto-hands at a bar. Yes, you reeled it in – but what exactly do you plan to do with it?"

Hey, I licked my Cheeto-hands before we hooked up.

Gary the Amish Chaser is NOT allowed to change his name. BBF loves Dora and she is still BBF, right! No way Jose'. No changing.
FYI: Earthworms...., not meal worms...try that next time.

Hey what were the marshmellows for? Geez, I thought when my husband uses corn from the can he was out of his mind.

Is there a Nuclear Power Plant near that lake - it looks like a fish from The Simpsons!!

I DO live near a Nuclear power plant and there are big signs posted on all the piers and fishin' holes saying DO NOT EAT THE CATFISH.

Non-nuclear catfish make a really good stew...

Beef jerky and sunflower seeds... yum.

I haven't been fishing since I was pretty young, too. And in the several times that I did fish up to that point, I only caught a single fish... a seven-inch large mouth bass. Oh wait, I have also caught two frogs. Well, in all honesty, it was the same frog that was stupid enough to fall for the bait a second time.

Oh, I LOVE to go catfishing!! Unfortunately since moving away from my family I don't get to go often. Well, I could, but then my uncle wouldn't be there to bait my hook and take the fish off and clean my catch, and cook my catch........you get the idea!! LOL I'm all for sitting in a chair and catching some fish as long as I don't have to get my hands dirty!! ;-)

I'm glad the boys had fun.

The LA version of fishing sure is different from the way we do it in Manitoba. If it wasn't for the fishing gear I would have thought you were on a mini-golf course. I have never seen such a well groomed fishing hole.

Good job on introducing The Champ to fishing though. I've been taking my girls for a few years now and they love it. The look of pride on a kids face when they catch their first fish is priceless. Make sure you have your camera ready for that one.

It doesn't really matter where you get your head, as long as you get it... truer words were never spoken. You are indeed a stellar parent.

As far as that "catfish", if you can even call it that... that thing looks small enough for my cat to swallow in one slurp.

I recently got both of my boys their first fishing pole, not necessarily for fishing just yet but for practice casting. Captain Destructo broke his within the first two weeks. So much for our fishing trip.

Here in the land of 10,000 lakes (where there's more shoreline than Florida, California, and Hawaii combined - seriously, it's a fact) we go fishing all the time.

And, the absolute must have, "staple" item when fishing is Slim Jims. I've never had a Slim Jim when not fishing. And I've never gone fishing without a Slim Jim. Not in 34 years...

Next time you go, do it right.

What, no Swedish Fish at 7-11? They seem so appropriate for the festivities and they're nutritious to boot! If you consider sugar nutritious...

My dad used to take me and my brothers fishing at Santa Fe Dam in california. We loved it, it consists of some of my kest memories of childhood. Nevermind the fact that as 3 small children we never EVER caught anythinge, except my dad once caught a duck. since it wasn't duck season though he reeled it in and untangled it and set it free. Oh and my brother once caught me. That hurt lemme tell ya. we still joke that dad is cursed the neither he nor anyone he is with will ever catch a fish again. hehe.

HEY ANNO - HUMANS ARE IN FACT THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN! JUST ASK YOUR FETUS EATING FRIENDS AT YOUR NEXT N.O.W. PARLOR MEETING.

Between snorting with laughter and wiping my nose, I am trying to work out what marshmellows have to do with fishing?
Is it an American thing???

Cool, it looks like the kids got their picture taken with Vin Diesel. Was he fishing there too?

Tammy,
you must not be from Louisiana. Catfish is the best food there is.

Wasn't kosher anyway...lol.

Have to laugh, my son just barely guilted my husband into ~the fishing trip~. Seems we got a postcard in the mail that says "Take me fishing", and so my son shows it to daddy, and he says, "yah, yah, looks like fun, we'll have to go someday". Sorta put him off, you know. So the next day, Hubby finds the postcard in his lunchbox with a sticky note on it that says "I love you daddy".
So he got to go this last weekend too, he was so proud, caught a huge 16 inch bottomfeeder, but boy was he proud.
Those are the memories we live for eh?
(That's the glory moments dude, take 'em while you got 'em, they go fast.)

I miss America, Huck Finn fishing holes and beef jerkey.

Looks like a wonderful day out.

I swear to GOD Tammy. That right there, its blasphemous! Catfish....mmmmmmm. Just had a fish fry last week and OMG it was so good. Flaky white meat with lots of flavor!

You must not be southern, we love our catfish down here.