I’ll open with a caveat.

My goal with this blog has never been to tear people down or judge their worth as a human being. I have always shied away from politics and class structure and other people’s religious beliefs because those issues are highly flammable. This song is not a rebel song. If you choose to worship an overripe cumquat or believe in your heart that the Bjork should be the next American President, you’re obviously an undermedicated freak but you're still welcome here.

That said, I think John Edwards is bleeding cocksore.

I think that because I just read the following sentence:

“Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards said Thursday his wife's cancer has returned but his bid for the White House will continue.”

But wait! There’s more!

“Edwards said tests this week had shown his wife, Elizabeth, had cancer in a rib on her right side. He said the cancer is treatable but not curable.”

Perhaps I’m a little sensitive to this issue because a very close friend and a very close relative are currently brawling with cancer, but I find old Johnny’s decision-making here to be outrageous and sad. Her cancer is “treatable but not curable,” which I interpret to mean they can hold it off for only so long – with treatments that will probably make her quite ill – but it will ultimately kill her. (I'm not a doctor, but I play one when I'm really pissed off at someone I've never met.)

And heeeeere’s Johnny: “Honey, I’m sorry you’re going to be miserably sick and fearing for your own life and all, but…um…I’m a little too focused on Me right now to help, mkay? But while I’m working 24 hours a day for the next year, begging for votes and tearing apart my opponents’ dignity and reputations from sea to shining sea, I’ll still have my cell phone with me. So if the shit gets really bad, you call me and I’ll call you right back. OK. Well. Um, I have to catch a flight to Des Moine right now, but, um…GOOD LUCK! Hope you don’t, like, die or anything. But if you do, can I have your ring back? That thing could generate much money on eBay.”

(For what it's worth, I'm a registered democrat.)

Am I overreacting here? Possibly. Maybe her illness isn’t quite so life threatening. But does that even matter? I like to consider myself a pretty realistic person and I always believe people have good in their hearts, but you’ll have to forgive me for saying that a man who chooses to pursue his own glory instead being with his (terminally?) sick wife is a hollow, heartless asshole and certainly not the kind of person I want in the White House.

Think about it! Running for president must be one of the most stressful, consuming, full-speed-ahead pursuits imaginable. It seems to me that’s not an environment that could empower one to be a caring, supportive, compassionate husband to a woman who genuinely needs that right about now. The human – dare I say “presidential” – decision would have been to withdraw from the campaign. But that’s not the way Johnny thinks. Rather than even suspending his run for glory and power and lots of big bombs, he gathered the media this morning and told them, “Yeah, it’s not looking so good for Elizabeth right now, but you know what? Fuck it! Let’s go to Washington, boys!”

But here is how you know this cat is nothing but a hypocritical, gum-flapping politician: in November, Johnny Rotten released a book called...wait for it...a little longer..."Home."

Down with Johnny Rotten.

Comments

This is my first time commenting, but I felt I should. I am not a John Edwards supporter or anything, but also read an article today which said that he and his wife had discussed everything and she encouraged him to go on. He also said that through it all, whenever his wife needs anything, he'll be there. She is his first priority. I can't help but feel that she is ok with it. So if she is ok with it, then maybe we should be as well.

In the interest of full disclosure, I do like John Edwards. But I like a couple of other candidates too. I am reserving my judgement until we get closer to the election but am trying to learn as much as possible about all the candidates so I can make an informed decision.

Respectfully,
Alicia

Yeah, I gotta say I felt the same way when I read this story.
'Sorry honey, I just don't have time to hold your hair back tonight. How about if I catch you tomorrow?

Once again - you blogged my mind! I was thinking the same thing when I read the news. They have four kids and he's going to leave her to go campaigning!! (Not sure of all the ages but she said two were 6 and 8 - that's not exactly independant ages) Sorry but my vote won't be for that assclown.

I have remarked before that I would not judge people until I was appointed the almighty moral authority of the Universe.

But when their own words do it for them--then I point it out.

Edwards said repeatedly before he jumped in that he would not get into the campaign unless his wife got a clean bill of health (see my blog for cites). She did and he jumped in. That is the honorable thing to do.

But, now it seems things have changed a bit--and it shows a character I have seen before--the guy sucks.

~Becky

i hope she wasn't high when she went for his stick-with-it idea. I would be sooo pissed at my hubby. Like big D kidda pissed. WHo wants to fight cancer when they could go get them some POWER?total ass sore move.

OBAMA 08 baby-

A buddy of mine said it best: "For that hour where there was buzz about him pulling out of the race, he went up remarkably in my estimation. Then the press release came out and I realized I was right all along."

I can not imagine what kind of human would do that. Opportunist scum.

How can she not be crushed?

/stunned.

I knew the guy was full-o-shit when he said his 10,000 sq. ft. house had an electric bill of only a couple hundred dollars per month and that he was offsetting that by purchasing carbon sequestration credits on the open market.

So if he is paying for something that does not exist, I guess he figures that cancer just goes away too.

Just one more asshat in the race.

I have always thought John Edwards was a bit sketchy, so unfortunately this comes as no surprise to me (I'm also a registered democrat, for what it's worth). I can't help but feel like his priorities are a bit ... different ... than those I would look for in a presidential candidate.

I read the same thing and had about the same reaction. Elizabeth deserves better.

Totally agree!

Right there with ya. "Stage 4 metastatic, treatable-not-curable" spells LIFE SUCKS. Were I her? I'd be rearranging his priorities in a galloping hurry.

I'm a first time reader here, and I don't follow the news at all because it seems so hollow and deceptive. When you first mentioned John Edwards I thought you were talking about the asshole who reads minds, so trust me, I have no biases in the case. What I can say is that running for President is a wholly selfish act (at least in these modern times), especially if you are running with one of the two major parties. It's not like this guy has a bunch of radical changes he wants to make that absolutely cannot wait another 4 years. This cockmother merely wants his name in the history books. Again I don't know the candidate, or anything about the upcoming race, but I do know that to desert your wife who is battling cancer is a real low-life thing to do. The sad thing is that most politicians would likely behave the same exact way. This Edwards guy is probably no worse than the rest of them, that shit is par for the course in American politics.

Registered democrat here, too, and I totally had the same reaction. I am thoroughly disgusted; I can't imagine how his wife must feel.

Let me add something. After reading through all the posts, I see it sounds as if she encouraged him to run, despite the diagnosis.

Well, fine. She's feeling good NOW. What about when she's on death's doorstep, or close to it? Will she wish then that she hadn't encouraged him so?

Not only that, but if my husband were terminal, I wouldn't care how much he begged me to go off and do my own thing; there would be absolutely no stopping me from canceling all of my plans and staying by his side til the very end... no matter how many weeks/months/years that might be.

I remain disgusted.

At first I got mad; then I was trying to give John Edwards the benefit of the doubt and say that they probably discussed it for a long time and Elizabeth gave her blessing. But really, come on. How about those times when chemo makes her so sick she can't open her eyes. Who will drive her home from appointments while he's traveling the country? I'm sure she has a support system, but I'd prefer it to be the man I chose to spend my life with... in sickness and in health. Not in preliminarily-testing-the-waters-to-see-if-maybe-I-can
-do-this-thing.
Also, for what it's worth (down with the two-party system!), I'm registered Green ;)

I'm so glad someone said this. I read that this morning and immediately thought he was a complete scumbag. I don't care if his wife did say to go after his dream, or whatever....anyone with a shred of decency would want to spend every remaining minute focused on her. Loser.

No. You're not overreacting even the tiniest bit (in my tiniest of opinions). I'm glad someone else felt the same way. When I first heard through NPR that there would be a press conference, I knew immediately what it was about. Nothing comes above the one you swore "til death do us part" and blah blah blah. I am *also* a registered democrat...I am a John Edwards community representative. I joined his campaign months ago. I don't think he should run - I think he needs to take care of his own. So I'm pretty much looking between Clinton(RELOADED) and Obama. Stuff happens.

Many chronic diseases are curable but not treatable. Her own doctor, who actually treats her and is quoted in the linked article, says her prognosis is good; not fatal, not terminal, not end-stage but good.

I'm not saying I would make the same decision in my own marriage but I am saying I would be leery of passing judgment on the decisions made in someone else's marriage, regarding someone else's health, that had exactly zero impact on my own life.

Knowing someone dealing with cancer and actually dealing with it are two different things; as with most situations regarding the health of loved ones, this too is something that most of us will remain blessedly ignorant of in that you don't know what you don't know (ie it isn't something any of us can say what we would do until called upon to make that choice in reality, not theory). And in all honesty, even those who have walked in those shoes aren't walking in their (the Edwards') shoes now and again, they are the only ones with a legitimate vote.

Also, having read her book, she isn't someone whose ability to make decisions in her own life is something I would be willing to bet against or second guess.

I just recently lost my father to cancer. I had only weeks to process that information before he was gone.
There is no way I would have voluntarily given up even a minute of time with my Dad had I known in advance like John Edwards does. It's power hungry insanity.

You are overreacting. FOR NOW, his campaign is going to push forward. As nobody, much less you, knows any details about her prognosis or treatment strategy right now, its a little premature to speculate on the situation she might find herself in down the road. FOR NOW, she is doing well. Anyone who's gone through a family member's battle with cancer knows its often a week-to-week thing. Furthermore, they also know that one of the most effective things you can do to delay any serious complications is to remain active, optimistic, and not to put one's life on hold as if awaiting your disease.

I fully expect that if her situation worsens, Edwards will put the campaign on indefinite hold. Still, what business is it of yours to criticize? This is a family matter, and they're handling it as they've decided as a family. Too bad they didn't ask Danny Evans.

Love the blog. Lurk here all the time, but I never comment.

My first reaction was "what the hell is he thinking?" but then I thought about it a bit more. It's very difficult for any of us to know what goes on in another marriage. And we can't really second guess the decisions of a family that has been living with the spectre of death for more than 10 years. I can only guess that they both clearly know what's at stake now and it's up to them to decide whether they want to act as if she's going to die, or act as if she's going to live. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he drops out later in the race if her treatment is not going well. Until then, I'm just going to wish them both the best of luck and thank God that I'm not in their shoes.

If there are any cancer survivors out there, I'd love to know what they think.

What business is it of mine to criticize?! The man is asking for my vote! It's NOT just a family matter.

As we all know, Pat, the campaign will eventually degrade to criticisms and questions about morality and lifestyle and who is the best human being on the list. That's what THEY want US see and judge. And since the politicians make it into an issue, let's examine it.

Don't come in here and tell me it's premature to speculate and flippantly say too bad they didn't ask me! I am a voter, he is a candidate and my job is to assess him as a leader and as a human being. What he did and said today repulses me. Sorry that doesn't jive with your democratic party apologist's viewpoint.

I'm with Lawyer Mama: this is something that they've commmitted to for years now. (She was certainly an energetic component of his campaign last time.) I think they know that their time together might be short but this is what they want to do with their lives, to not stop and fixate but try to achieve the goal that they've dedicated years of their combined lives together. They've been together for years and presumably their goals are shared. I think it's a pretty selfless act on both their parts to instead of miring themselves in unproductive worries and dedicate themselves to instead keep trying to achieve their goals. She's metastatic - they're correct, it's very unlikely that she'll survive in the long run. I think the run for the presidency is their version of the last hurrah, the big blow out vacation, the cruise around the world that other people might do.

~J

Not only is he putting himself ahead of his wife, but they have two very young children-I believe 9 and 7 years old. Let's forget about Elizabeth for a moment. What message is he sending to the children? Any campaign mounted by him is nothing short of a colossal waste of money, and for what-an ego trip?

DGM:

To start, my wife and I are huge fans - keep up the good work.

I have to say that I disagree with your post today, though. I do this because I feel that I can offer something to the discussion. To say that I follow politics would be an understatement. I'm a huge fan of Senator Edwards' work - and truthfully, an even bigger fan of Elizabeth Edwards' work. I've done political work for the Edwards' campaign before, and God willing, I hope to again next year. Today's announcement, in my estimation, was more about Elizabeth than about the Senator. She is a uniquely driven person who regularly logs hundreds of hours per month doing charitable and political work. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer days before the 2004 Presidential election, Senator Edwards pulled completely out of all appearances to be with his family. As anyone who follows politics knows, those final weeks before an election are crucial, and Senator Edwards could only be found with his family. People who know the Edwards' better than I do feel that Mrs. Edwards views the work that she and the Senator can do as supremely important and views her situation as "going down fighting" rather than hiding out waiting for the cancer to claim her. I have no doubt - at all - that Mrs. Edwards implored Senator Edwards to continue to seek the Presidency, in part so that she might continue to serve as a beacon of hope to cancer survivors (as she does in her book).

That said, neither you, me, or anyone else here know what choices were made by the Edwards family (who have three children presently). Her taking part in the press conference today lends itself to the idea that she took part in the decision and feels that it is the correct one.

I live in Canada and don't really follow American politics so I don't know much about this Edwards guy - but I can tell you that if it were me with cancer, and my husband stayed on the campaign trail I'd be filing some pretty serious papers....

While Jimmy Jazz is certainly well spoken and honest about his affiliations, I have to agree with DGM here. Even if Elizabeth encouraged him to go on, what kind of jerk does that? This sends a terrible message to the men of this country that standing by your wife in a time of crisis is not necessary. I think a much stronger political statement would have been for him to show us a man who puts his family first. Want to lead? Start at "Home."

One final note. Apparently, Mrs. Edwards has already been to the political blogs and commented on the situation.

Here's a link to a, granted, liberal website with the story.

http://tinyurl.com/3xbxbb

She doesn't sound to me like someone who feels that her husband is leaving her to fight the disease by herself.

Thanks again, DGM, for the forum to discuss this difficult situation, and to all of the commenters for their posts.

Let me start by saying I am not big on John Edwards. My vote lies with someone else in the race. That being said, I have it on good authority that Mrs. Edwards has ALWAYS wanted her husband to be president. Some say she even wants it more than he does. Though I would hope my husband, if I had one, would be by my side as much as humanly possible if I were going through something like this I somehow feel that perhaps Mrs. Edwards more than encouraged her husband to stay in the race.

He still looks like a complete douche though for doing this.

DGM...
I know you are not my biggest fan since I used your comments section one night for my own little rant about my son and his teacher.. and today's post was.. lets just say heavy for the typical you. I am not saying I agree or disagree with you.. but I wanted to add a little funny.. even though a little sick thing that happened to me today.

Some one posted on my message board that John Edwards' wife had cancer. I MISREAD and instead of reading John Edwards' I read John Edward's (as in the physic) and my thought was..

Hmm interesting .. he didn't see this coming???

Yes I know I am a sick person!!! but thought I would lighten up the comments a little..

Mucho love.. Keep up the great writing..

I so have to order a HOT WIFE t shirt.. but only after April 1.. (wedding day yippie)

As about a zillion others have said, what I am about to say has NOTHING to do with politics. I think that most candidates have good and bad things about them.

I think my husband summed it up the best "His wife is going to die and he'll not be elected president."

I'm hoping that she'll be the type the can overcome this. But, if I'm correct, by the time it has spread to bones, it is usually stage 4....

Either way, I feel very sorry for this family. Sorry that their dad/husband will be gone all the time when they'll need him most.

My father died from colon cancer in 2004 and my husband put off his doctorate so we could be nearby my family while the disease took my dad from us.

I spent every minute I could with my father and it wasn't enough time. It was not enough. I want more.

I don't think I could vote for a man who puts his dying wife second to ambition. No matter what she urged him to do.

Because she will die.

I also have to say that I disagree with your take on this. Although I think he's probably like that cumquat-worshiping freak you mention early on ... undermedicated for trying to take this on, I don't think it shows he's a selfish bastard, either.

Elizabeth Edwards isn't a shrinking violet, and she was standing their smiling at the press conference saying she wanted him to go on. Not addressing that component it would seem you are saying that she isn't capable of making decisions for herself in the wake of her illness.

Perhaps time and circumstances will end up taking him out of this race, or it will come down to other players, but I don't think I'd wish him a broken appendage right out of the gate. Not for this, anyway.

I've heard somewhere that a marriage is like a casserole- the only people who know everything that goes into it are the people who made it. That rings true with my experiences. No one can fully understand what makes a marriage work or what is acceptable in a marriage.

My own marriage has it's quirks- people don't always understand what works for us or why. I've refused to defend it on numerous occasions.

Having said all that, I still have to say that John Edwards is selfish dick. Even if she begged him not to drop out. An honorable man could not do this.

My husband and I are two different people with our own hobbies and interests. We have a decent degree of personal freedom in our marriage. We also love each other deeply, and if one of us was facing an early passing- whether it was two weeks or ten years away- there would be an incredible sense of urgency to spend that time together.

I won't vote for any person that has already proven that they are incapable of pursuing a collective agenda over their personal one.

Yeah, dude, I think you're overreacting. Diabetes can be treatable but not curable. Same thing about depression. In the interview on CNN, she herself said she isn't feeling ill or looking ill and doesn't really expect to, based on what her physicians say. In addition, she was the driving force behind him getting back in the game.

So, I don't know if I'd be jumping to conclusions before knowing all the facts and going judgmental on Edwards' ass. For my part, I would prefer John Edwards in the White House over Hilary or Obama.

Perhaps The Edwards' announcement goes to show just how out of hand the whole campaigning thing has gotten. He's practically an also ran and we're how many months away from Iowa?

This kind of ambition is just a sign of a much bigger disease.

Even if his wife encouraged him to run, I don't think he should. I think it is his responsability to to take care of his family first. It's not only his wife that needs him, it's his children as well. Who is going to be there to answer the questions they have, or to hug them while they cry and are afraid? He is the one they will need the most to help them through this.

What would happen if he was elected and thats when she gets really sick? Will he step out then and leave America the way he has left his family now?!

I wouldn't vote for a man who would willingly abandon his family (even if they want him to or don't think of it that way).

You know what? I love your blog, so I say this respectfully. You can't know what's going on in their lives. What if for the Kerry's, it's all about maintaining the status quo so that the truth of the cancer doesn't overwhelm them? What if to them, going on like nothing's wrong is the only choice that makes sense to them? How does that make them bad people?

John Kerry did not fucking decide to run and leave his wife at home to take care of her cancer by herself. That's just not how they roll, I'm guessing. It's very early into the decision and the diagnosis - why don't you give them a break and see what happens before you spew hate and judgement on them?

Seriously, I love what you do. This one though, is way off base, and I hope someday you apologize for having thought and written such things. I really do.

(I love it when you stir the pot.)

I saw clips of the press release today on a giant but muted TV at the gym and Elizabeth looks - well - stoic. And pale. Poor thing.

And if you consider Johnny Rotten isn't going to win anyway, the faster we stop talking about him, the faster he will drop of of the race and take care of his family. The world will right itelf on its axis and we'll find something else to bitch about.

For those saying DGM is inappropriately judging a purely personal decision, remember this isn't just about the campaign, but also what Edwards intends to do during the next 5+ years, assuming he actually wants to win the race. What kind of psycho would seek to become President of the United States during a period of time that his wife will most likely become gravely ill and die, leaving two elementary-school-aged children without their mommy? He really thinks he'll be in a good position to lead the country while this occurs? The type of greedy sociopathic fuck who would do this is the same type of person who would "channel" a dead baby girl while giving a closing argument in a medical malpractice case. True story. Here's a portion of the transcripts:

"She speaks to you through me," the lawyer went on in his closing argument. "And I have to tell you right now — I didn't plan to talk about this — right now I feel her. I feel her presence. She's inside me, and she's talking to you."

P.S. Ann Coulter was right.

It's Des Moines. It's French.

I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt too, but then I read this:

"'From our perspective, there was no reason to stop [the campaign],' the candidate said. 'I don't think we seriously thought about it.'"

It's just not humanly possible that they didn't seriously think about it. Or maybe they're just not thinking at all.

I walked away from this post for many hours. I came back and reread it a moment ago and I have to say this: I'm ashamed. I was unduly harsh. I'm not saying that based on any comments here or any other outside influence. I'm saying it because my conscience is aching.

As I said, cancer has been a very real, very frightening part of my life for the last year. It's an emotional, heart-breaking thing to see someone you love suffer. I think I let the emotion of these experiences run wid and unchecked this afternoon. Not proud of this post. Ashamed of it really. Disagreeing with someone is fine, but it's no reason to obliterate him personally in print and attack him with the bloodlust I displayed above.

I stand by my staunch disagreement with his decision. Decision-making is an enormous part of being a president and I think this portends ugly things if Edwards were to win. I should have left it at that.

I don't think you should be ashamed at all. I appreciate your passion, Danny. I'm a passionate person who sometimes stirs the pot, too, and really--that's okay. The world would be pretty damned boring if everyone tip-toed around and didn't speak from their hearts once in awhile.

I also think this hits a nerve more with those of us who've lost people to cancer, or watched them dying from it. (Maybe not, I don't know for sure, but I can't help but wonder.)

My mom and dad both had cancer and my dad died from it, my favorite boss had it and died within a year, two of my uncles died from it, and a girlfriend of mine who's 39 is terminally ill -- it's spread to 4 parts of her body now. No one I know has lived more than about 2 years tops from the time of being diagnosed. Also, with my parents, they had bone scans every few months, because we were always told that once it went to the bones, that was pretty much "it." There's no curing it, and there's no living a bazillion years with it, either. It's not like a lot of other incurable but treatable diseases; it's fucking CANCER. It gets you sooner rather than later.

Elizabeth's living a few years, at this rate, would be a pretty optimistic prognosis, in my opinion.

And also? You can look great and still be dying. My dad did. He & my mom never got sick from chemo or radiation, never lost a hair on their heads, nothing. My dad was up cooking in the kitchen one minute, and collapsed and dead the next. Same with my boss; you would've never known he was sick. He died just six short weeks after retiring, and he looked healthy as a horse at the time (and had fought the cancer for less than a year). Looks can be deceiving when it comes to this stuff, unfortunately.

I honestly can't believe you all are making character judgments and arguing about this as if there's one universally correct moral action to be taken here. Some people would want their spouse to stay home with them if they had cancer, and some would want them to go out and follow their dreams. It's different for every couple. Personally, if my boyfriend was running for president, I would NOT let him drop out on my behalf, no matter how sick I was. Sure, it'd be hard for me, but him being president would be the most important thing to me in the world. Not everyone feels that way. This just in - NOT ALL MARRIAGES ARE EXACTLY LIKE YOURS. Quit judging everybody else's relationships based on what you would expect from your own. Personally, I don't know anything about John and Elizabeth's relationship, so I'm not going to make a judgment about their decision either way.

So saith the 19-year-old college freshman know-it-all. Maybe I'll feel differently when I get married, who knows.

No judgement here: However, if my husband decided to, oh....go on a US-wide music tour and I had stage 4 cancer? I'd be f'in PISSED. Even while I cheered him on in public. Everyone is different, but I think it smacks of 'power lust' when one puts ones' wife and young children behind their political aspirations.

I agree with you. I know that Elizabeth has a good shot of lasting at least five years before the cancer does kill her, but is that really a chance that you would want to take? They already have lost their oldest son to a car accident, I'm sure that if they had known that was going to happen that they would've have spent as much time with him as possible before he died. It would be different if Edwards actually had a shot, he's doing well in Iowa, but very far back in third place otherwise.

She'll be okay for years and it's not a matter of her being in an end-of-life situation. Let's just hope none of the doctors he sued and made his millions off have anything to do with the new treatment plan, if they're even still working in medicine. They should be working, since it turns out all those medical malpractice lawsuits were based on junk science that was debunked after the early 90s.

Rudy '08

Even if the wife was insisting that he continue his bid for president, do we want someone to lead this country who has that kind of distraction at home?

DGM - I am sooo disappointed that you took back your words after putting them in print. You have nothing to be ashamed of; and I too felt the same as you did when I first heard the news. John Edwards is asking for our vote and character is part of the package.
Let's get the facts straight she has stage IV Bone Cancer, treatable not curable. Furthermore, only 20% of patients (yes 20% of patients)live to 5 years with such a diagnosis. Now, do you still take back your words???
John Edwards stated that "I will only pursue the bid for President if my wife has a clean bill of health". If my husband told me to continue with a 23 hour a day bid for the White House even though he has stage IV bone cancer I would tell him that he was halucinating.....I would drop out without a second thought. It is no longer about John Edwards it is about his wife and he should have taken the high road and put her first as in HIS "first lady". Shame shame shame on John Edwards he is a selfish pig.

I was shocked by the decision to continue a campaign in light of the cancer announcement. I know that I can't really understand what guides the decision of John and Elizabeth Edwards, since I am not in their heads, but I was still disappointed in the decision. Some people may have more respect for Edwards because of his dedication to the campaign, so the voters he loses may be balanced out. Still, it's changed my opinion of the man who wants to be leader of the free world.

I saw an interview last night and she did tell him to run despite her illness. I would like to think I would tell my spouse the same but the response I want from him is, "You are more important to me than any election. I want to be with you in your time of need." I hope that wasn't the response she was hoping for because if it was....

Who are WE to judge? When I heard that the Edwards' were holding a press conference about Elizabeth's health, I assumed the worst. I also assumed that John would be pulling out of the race - therefore I was surprised to hear that his intentions are to stay in the race. However, after watching the press conference and interviews that have been given, I came away from the tv actually thinking more of John Edwards and his family than before.

If I were dying, I would want my husband to have a life after me.

We can't see into the future - we don't know if John Edwards will remain for the long term in the race - but if he does, I hope he can find the right balance between being with his wife and family when they need him and also on the campaign. From what I've heard, his wife wants this for him - and for his family's future. From what I've heard and seen, she truly believes that it's the best thing for this country and her family that her husband is the president - to 'gets things on the right course again'.

Just my two cents. As was your post.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this guy is a selfish asshole. I was 20 when I met a man who was in remission from bone cancer. We lived as best we could. A year later, the cancer returned and never really left. For three years, we fought together. I supported him. I was with him whenever I could be and hated every minute I couldn't be at his side. When he was diagnosed terminal at 23, I told my boss that I would be taking time off whenever I needed to be with him and she said 'whatever it takes'. I did not pursue my own agenda while the man I loved fought for every additional day on this earth. How John Edwards can even CONSIDER running for president while his wife, the mother of his children, fights AGAIN for her life and health, is despicable. I have absolutely no respect for this selfish egomaniac. My vote is going toward Obama, a man who is family first and politics second (in my opinion). Edwards should take a leave of absence and BE THERE FOR HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN. How on earth are his children going to learn about real love and commitment when they see their father hare off to chase the presidency while their mother fades away? They need his support and love. He's a jerk and I'm disgusted.

Here is my 2 cents.
If you are going to be president of the United States of America I think that your priority should be on the people of the USA..NOT secondary to your wife's cancer..and I think that is what it would be. I do agree that he is campainging on pity..Elizabeth WANTS her husband to be elected, vote for the cancer patient..no I mean her husband. See..doesn't fly with me either.

I had the same initial thought, but I saw her talking about it also. It might be that she wants to try to keep everything as normal as possible and that might help her fight. I know she wants him to continue, but there is a point when he should stop even though she tells him to continue. It seems like they are there to me, but like some others have said, it isn't my place to judge their actions. But I can't help that it changes the way I feel about him.

Love your blog DGM -

Danny, I think Ryann said it best in that there's not one universally correct moral action to choose in this situation. They did what they felt was right for their family after weighing their options in light of facts and prognostications that we the public aren't fully appraised of. Its fine that you disagree, or even that your definition of "selfless and supportive" seems not to include the courage to push forward amidst a (familiar) adversity. Would you honestly prefer the both of them to cowardly put their lives on hold to await a disease that isn't presently incapacitating Elisabeth in any way? Personally, I'd rather vote for leaders who have the courage and persistence to push through.

The guy's not a cocksore. For now, they just handled it differently than you might have. I love how everyone here is speaking like they know the full details of her diagnosis, treatment, prognosis, and the personal family discussions that must have gone into the decision, and assuming that this decision is somehow binding and permanent regardless of what the future actually brings. Leave the guy alone -- his wife's cancer just relapsed. Maybe this is why the other candidates won't touch any public moral judgment of their decision to stick it out -- because unless you're an Edwards, you really don't know the details and you might want to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, lest you come off looking like an ass.

Danny,

This is YOUR blog, Your opinions. I happen to agree 100% with what you wrote. If he can't take care of his wife when she needs him the most, who needs him? Sorry for those in your life who are suffering from cancer. Lost a very dear friend to cancer. She left three gorgeous little girls, I'm just thankful her husband was there the whole time with her.

I actually like him more now. I didn't have much of an oppinion before but he said in the press conference that anytime she needed him he'd be there...period. I think that sums things up. What should they do? Just wait around 4 or 5 more years for her to die or go on living the life they have always lived until things change? Frankly, If the situation was GWB and his wife I think he'd do exactly the same thing. As far as what it's teaching their children...I'd say they're teaching them to live life to the fullest with the ones you love while you can because you never know how long you'll have them.

I agree with you too. I can't help but think of the two young children. They must be terrified and with no dad around to comfort and reassure them? It's no good. And I thought they were such a lovely couple. It's a real shame the cancer has returned.

What a touchy subject. I agree with most of the posters here: we can’t know exactly what is going on within that family, but they are out there for the public to see and we will all judge them.
First, my perception of campaigning/being President is that it’s more than a 24/7 job. I don’t know how any of these guys can do it and still feel like they are a part of their families. People with much less strenuous jobs have trouble.
Second, cancer is a deceptive bastard. You can feel fine one day and be on your deathbed the next, and then again fine the day after that. My daughter has been fighting for 16 months now and I know how it can ‘distract’ from the normal rhythm of work and life. Yes, one of the first things they tell you to help you cope is to try not to disrupt your daily routines too much-- some disruption is inevitable. And it’s not only affecting his wife, obviously. The kids are going to need their dad to help them get through this, too.
Third, those of us in a relationship know how loaded Elizabeth’s stated desire for John to continue really is. C’mon, when your wife says, “no, honey, that’s fine, go to Hooters with the guys, I don’t mind.” Do you really think that’s how she truly feels??!
Lastly, when you try to put together coping with cancer in your family and campaigning for/serving in office, something is going to suffer. Sometimes multi-tasking works, like when you’re listening to the radio and typing at the same time. But when the two tasks both require 100% of your resources, someone’s gonna get screwed.
I wasn’t going to vote for him, anyway, but I think it’s just a shame if he’s not there when his family needs him the most.

I just think it's far too early for anyone to even be on the campaign trail. Hillbillery's and Obama's lights will be dimmed by the end of this year when everyone else throws their hats in the race. They will have cut each other down to bite-size morsels or Hillary will have buried herself in lies.

As for John Edwards, alot can happen in a year and eight months. If the cancer turns aggressive, I think he should focus his energy toward the family, but right now if his wife is feeling fine and can join him, I say it's alright to live how you have been living, I know I wouldn't want to banish myself to a hospital bed to wait and die.

People might bash me for this comment but this is what I think.... John Edwards is a slime ball - I have always thought this!!! The "PRESS CONFERENCE" yesterday - Vote for me because you feel sorry for me and my wife!! If his wife is feeling fine then there was no reason to reveal her health to the public - other than VOTES!! The only reason to hold a press conference would be to say - My wife is ill and I am dropping out of the race!!!

call me cynical but I think john edwards hoped to use this terrible misfortune of his family to his benefit by glomming the sympathy vote. most politicians are slimy, but he comes off as worse than the rest somehow.

Yeap, feel the same way. There is always a next time, right? He won't be getting my vote that's for sure.

I thought we all know when woman say "I want you to run for president" that they mean the opposite "I want your ass home to take care of me". Come on people, we woman ALWAYS mean the opposite. : )

Another questions. If he is this loyal to his wife and family. How loyal will he be to his own employees? Just wondering?

You know what's worse than the fact that he's still running?

People, a lot of people, will vote for him.

As someone above mentioned, he'll grab the sympathy vote.

The idiots who accept things at face value will think he's such a nice man for saying he'd still help his wife during the busy race.

The self-entitled Yuppies will say to themselves "Aww. How brave and strong he must be!"

Because, you know, it must be such a shame for HIM to have to go through the horror of running for president while his wife has the nerve to DIE of CANCER. GOD. That poor man.

Couldn't agree more.

Danny,
I fully respect your post and what you wrote. I also think there's no room for shame. You wrote what you were truely feeling, and no one should apologize for passion. With all that being said, I am not sure where I stand on the whole 'John Edwards is an asshat' issue. I watched the news conference over and over and over and then went online to look up info on both it and the cancer. It seems to me (from what I have gathered) that the doctors have told the Edwards family that there is no reason why Elizabeth could not be an active part of her husband's campaign. True, they are still uncertain (well, at least to the public) as to what her treatment regimen will consist of, but from what they do know, they believe that she will be able to travel with him many times. Also, it seems that John, Elizabeth, and the family have discussed it at length. I know John may have said that they never really thought about it, but I think that comment was sort of a show of bravery. We all know that they thought about it and discussed it...who wouldn't? With all this being said, and also being a person who has been too close to cancer for the last few years and also dealing with my own depression/anxiety and facing my own mortality (be it now or 70 years from now), I feel like, if it were me, I would want my husband to continue. I would also want to be by his side and continue as well because when I'm idle, I think. And, when I think, I get depressed. Maybe it's just running from the problem, but maybe Elizabeth is pushing John to move on with the campaign more for herself than for him. If she can keep active and keep her mind off of the negative, she will be at a better place. Now, with all of that being said, I'm not sure how well John Edwards would do in the White House if his wife were to become very ill during that time. It is a difficult position to put yourself in. It would be wrong of him to step down as President at that time, but also it would be wrong of him not to. Quite the quandary, eh?
So, I don't know...either way. I just hope that if and when the time comes that Elizabeth is not doing well, John does the right thing. Until then, well, I guess that I have to trust that they have made the right decision for them...that's not to say it is the right decision for everybody.
Thanks for allowing my two cents...this coming from a registered republican who isn't considering voting for Mr. Edwards.

I appreciated your initial post, DGM. I also appreciated your comment, albeit unecessary. I hope Mrs. Edwards feels well and can continue in "good" health. Thanks for the great discussion on a dreary Friday.

Oh, and pat sounds like an asshat.

DGM,
John Edwards is asking for my vote (or, at least, he will soon enough) and by doing so, he's asking me to judge him. By voting for an individual, I'm deciding (judging) who is capable to represent ME. It's MY vote, and he's gonna stand up and speak for ME. Yep - John Edwards will ask for my vote. He won't get it - not now, not ever.

I had throat cancer at 19. It was benign, but the growth was mutating and it would've closed off my supply of air had my doctors not caught it when they did. I'm not a smoker, I don't do drugs, and there's no genetic link to explain why I had cancer at 19. Just lucky, I guess.

I'm 38 now. Not a day goes by that I don't remember how damned blessed I am - not 'cause I'm still here, but for the support I had 19 years ago, and the support that I have every time my throat hurts, or I have a cough that won't go away, or I have my blood count done again. (Nothing makes a person more paranoid than living through ANY kind of cancer.)

My husband was diagnosed with malignant cancer before we met, and unlike me, he had chemo and radiation and the like. We've been married for 15 years. We don't have kids (wouldn't have been a responsible decision to do so, given our health history).

If God decides to pull my name for a rematch round with "the big C", I will ask my husband to be strong. I will hold his hand, look him in the eyes, and tell him that I want him to continue to live his life, and remind him that he will still need to do his own thing to get through my illness, and I will mean it 110%.

And if he doesn't set camp up by my bedside to wipe my nose while I figure out if it's easier to use my energy to fight to live or fight to die, I will, as God as my witness, use that strength to hire an entire flock of the most expensive, slimest, nastiest lawyers to crawl up into his bowels through his ass and erase any trace of his existance off the face of this planet.

... but again, that's me and what I'D do. I wish Mrs. Edwards all the best.

I read your blog all the time, I don't comment as much, but felt I had to leave a message.

I completely agree with you, being an 8 year cancer survivor I know what treatment entails. When I was diagnosed I can't not imagine how I would've survived if I didn't have my friends and family all around me, helping, supporting and just being there. I don't think I would be here today if it wasn't for them. They only gave me a 15% chance of living which is still more then saying "it is treatable but not curable" mine was curable, and now I'm cured.

But if I had to do it alone, or w/o the help of my closest family members and friends (I'm not married) forget about it, I'd be dead. I hope he gets his head out of his ass soon and realizes that he only may have a few precious years/months/weeks and/or days with his wife. Show some respect Johnny and be with your wife. Screw the election and presidency this is not "An American President" and you are not Michael Douglas

Had to come back....

Who are WE to judge?

WE - are the voters
WE - are the people who stand up and decide based on all the facts presented who WE feel is the best candidate to run our country

If John Edwards or anyone else thinks that announcing that his wife has incurable yet treatable cancer, yet he's still considering taking up the monumental task of running for President for the next year as well as committing to run the country for four after that, isn't going to change SOME of "WE" minds about his character and integrity - they are all sadly mistaken!

That being said - he would totally get my vote in 2012 if he dropped out of the 2008 race to support not only his wife, but his children who need him now and through his wife's treatment more than this great nation does.

Strategically, I can't see how this is going to get him any sympathy vote. Just character (if you think the worst) and distraction (if you think the best) questions.

The sympathy vote would be much more likely were he to stick by his wife's side until the apparently inevitable (to put it gently) and THEN run, a la The American President, as Melina notes.

I thought the point Pat and others made about not 'putting your lives on hold' and waiting to die was a good one - but running for President is a far cry from maintaining a normal life - as many have already said.

Much of what I feel has already been noted by others.

I guess I just had the same immediate reaction to the announcement -> callous verging on sociopath. Even if Mrs. Edwards is supportive - even if his being President is a life goal of hers - I as a voter would prefer to have as a leader someone who understands the concept that public service is not about looking exclusively out for Number One. And though I don't know anything about their relationship, I'd kind of prefer as a leader someone who can care for someone maybe more than they care for themselves. Isn't that what we task leaders to do for the country? Or do we all just carry on At The Pleasure Of The President and hope they don't screw us over with their next pet project?

I'm with Jules.

"If God decides to pull my name for a rematch round with "the big C", I will ask my husband to be strong. I will hold his hand, look him in the eyes, and tell him that I want him to continue to live his life, and remind him that he will still need to do his own thing to get through my illness, and I will mean it 110%.

And if he doesn't set camp up by my bedside to wipe my nose while I figure out if it's easier to use my energy to fight to live or fight to die, I will, as God as my witness, use that strength to hire an entire flock of the most expensive, slimest, nastiest lawyers to crawl up into his bowels through his ass and erase any trace of his existance off the face of this planet." Jules

He doesn't get my vote either.

With all this talk about John Edwards making "his" decision to continue running, I think a serious disservice is being paid to Elizabeth Edwards. She has said that *she* wants her husband to continue his campaign. Who are any of us to tell her that no, she just hasn't thought this through...she really just wants her husband to give up *their* life's work and stay home to watch her die?! If you don't like him politically, don't vote for him, but I really don't understand how people are so willing to pass judgement on how a couple chooses to procede with their life after receiving a stage 4 cancer diagnosis. AAAAAgggggghhhhhh!

Thanks for letting me get that out...I feel better now.

It's Des Moines......

Love the blog, I look forward to reading it.

wow!

I'll leave it at that...

DGM -

No need to take back your words. You wrote what you felt at the time.

I respect your opinion, but don't really agree. I can see both sides of the "John Edwards is a jerk" argument. I have never had cancer, but like almost everyone else, have had it touch my life through someone I care about. If I knew I was going to die in a few years & I wanted desperately to see my husband to reach a certain milestone (such as being president), I would be really po'ed if he put it off until after my death. I would also desperately want his support if things got really bad, though. I'm not sure what I'd do in Mrs. Edwards situation, but they chose what was best for them at this time, and that's fine with me.

I'm not sure who I'll vote for (since I'm not terribly fond of anyone running yet), but this alone won't rule Edwards out of the race for me.

Stick to avoiding politics. I don't blame you for your knee jerk reaction, but I really think you missed the mark here. If John Edwards' wife encouraged him to keep at it, wouldn't it be wrong and defeatist if he quit. Besides all that, everyone seems to think that it is ONLY selfishness that would get someone to run for President. How about ideals? That is what Edwards is running on, and while it may be a bit of BS like all politicians, John Edwards would be good for this country. I was worried he would NOT run because of his wife's illness, but thankfully that is not the case. Here one of Edwards' speeches and I wouldn't be surprised if you changed your opinion of him.

Look for a San Francisco Chronicle article today about cancer survivors backing Edwards. Basically, it is a personal decision and there are people who live for years with cancer. I give them the benefit of the doubt.

I'll leave the argument of whether or not John Edwards is an asshole alone.

What compels me to comment is the notion espoused by more than a few commenters that the American Public has a right to judge him on such a personal issue. People's belief that a person running for president is ASKING you to judge him on something so personal.

Isn't that what is wrong with American Politics? Are you really not going to vote for someone based on a marital decision, or whether they smoked pot in college, or because they hired a convicted felon as their gardener?

I thought we voted for President based on who had the best ideas for leading the Country? Who can get us out of this war, and move forward with the fight on terrorism. Who has the best plan for health care and education? Who is the best qualified candidate...

After reading some of the comments, it is no wonder our most qualified candidates never run for anything, the harsh scrutiny they face on personal issues having no relevance to their ability to lead this country influences them not to run.

The true "asshat" is someone who doesn't vote for an otherwise qualified candidate based on an issue that has nothing to do with the job of the presidency.

When I saw him say that on the news last night my jaw hit the floor, I look at my husband and said, "Wha....?" Did he really just say THAT?! How insensitive! I couldn't believe it!

Okay, my first response was that she had encouraged him to continue. However, the more I think about it, the more I think he's a jerk!

She's facing a life-threatening illness & her spouse is facing a huge career boost. She feels crappy & stressed because she may die. She's going to tell him to go on with his persuits. She doesn't want the guilt of thinking she held him back. What else was she going to say? "Honey, I know this is your dream & I might not make it through this to share it with you, but honestly, I want you to put your life on hold until I either get better or die!"

While I'm not surprised she told him to move on with it, I'm shocked he agreed. If your wife is puking her guts out before a party she may tell you to go without her, but if you actually leave her at home in agony to go get sauced with your buddies, you're an A$$!

There... I've said it... he's an A$$!! I feel better now :)

Jules - I know this isn't that relevant to the discussion, but I'm a little confused by part of your comment. I was always under the impression that benign meant non-cancerous and malignant meant cancerous, but then you described your cancer as being benign and your husband's as being malignant, which doesn't make any sense to me. What exactly did you mean by that?

And to those of you saying you wouldn't vote for a man who would make certain decisions about their private life, let me ask you a hypothetical question. There's an articulate, passionate, well-educated man running for public office who has successfully fought for several causes that you believe in. You find out that he has cheated on his wife on countless occasions and hired prostitutes, all while insisting that his wife remain at home to take care of the kids instead of getting a job. Do you vote for him?

If not, then my friend, you just voted against Martin Luther King Jr. Good job. Give yourself a pat on the back. (And yes, I know he never ran for office, that's why I called it a hypothetical question.)

Oh, and to the women who are saying that just because she SAID she wanted him to keep running doesn't mean that she actually wanted him to - if that's true, it's her own damn fault. That's why women need to quit it with this stupid bullshit where they tell you something's okay when it's really not (and I'm a woman saying this). Nothing annoys me more than one of my friends calling me to tell me, "Oh my God, I wanted my boyfriend to stay at home with me, but I told him to go hang out with his friends like he wanted to, and he did! I'm so pissed off! Waaaah!" Gee, don't you think this situation could have been avoided if you just, I don't know, TOLD HIM YOU WANTED HIM TO STAY HOME? Women, you cannot continue this thing you do where you tell your husband to do the polar opposite of what you want him to do and expect him to make the right decision. Especially with huge decisions like, "Should I stay home and take care of my wife, or should I continue my presidential campaign?", you OWE it to your husband to be honest about how you feel and what you want.

And...I'm done.

I have to wonder what they would say about her if the shoe were on the other foot? Apparently, if you have a pecker you can get by with alot.

Hello. Never commented on here before either, saw a link and out of curiosity read your post and the many comments. If you want the short version of my feelings...I pretty much agree with Newlywifed about what the factors should be on determining your vote for a candidate. And for the record, on the "hypothetical candidate" I would've voted for him - period. As for the long version...I saved that for my own blog.

I will say that I find it highly insulting to Elizabeth to compare her encouragement for her husband's candidacy the same as encouraging him to "go to Hooters" for a couple of beers with the boys. I'd also like to think, were I in her shoes, I would have a little more integrity, not to mention selfless love, than to pretend to encourage my husband all the while secretly plotting "to hire an entire flock of the most expensive, slimest, nastiest lawyers to crawl up into his bowels through his ass and erase any trace of his existance off the face of this planet".

No, you're not overreacting!

This is your blog and you can express your opinions all you want; however, you should realize that by doing so, you open yourself up to criticism. That being said, I would like to think that the decision that John and Elizabeth Edwards made was based on their mutual understanding of the situation and information that we may or may not be privy to.

I'm not voting for him because I never liked him in the first place, but this decision had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Obama '08.

When I saw the press conference the only thing I could think of was(of course, thats after feeling terrible for her cancer coming back) he's thinking this will get him votes.

I think he's still in it because he believes this struggle will earn him pity votes. Disgusting.

I was actually kind of excited to see him run, but now he makes me throw up a little in my mouth.

I couldn't believe it either. He is lower than whale shit, and that floats on the bottom of the ocean! Not only does his wife need his support, his children are going to have a hard time with this no matter how brave a face their Mother puts on. Plus seeing their Dad being guarded by Secret Service agents must be unsettling to them also. Death stalking both parents; just what every child needs. They may think the kids are too young to fully understand these two scary events in their lives but they are only fooling themselves. Kids realize a hell of a lot more than they are given credit for and can also pretend they are not worried about it. "If you mention the worst it might happen" is often a childhood reasoning.
Imagine the things they are going to here from other kids who will be repeating the opinions they have heard from adults.
He's an asswipe!

first of all, i understand why you said that ur ashame, i get that feeling myself sometimes.. but a stand is a stand so i respect you for that..

i may not be an american in fact i'm miles away from america (i'm from singapore) but i'm 19 and my dad died from cancer when i was like 5, from my point of view, it seems like this whole cancer thing, serious and pitiful as the situation may be, seems more like a publicity stun to gather simpity and votes.. that's what celebrities do here in asia to get people to buy their records and all that.. yup, jus my 2cents worth of opinions..

Another registered Democrat agreeing with you!

Democrat, Republican, who cares. The dude can talk to dead people! We NEED him in the White House! I heard Lincoln haunts the place. Maybe with him in the White House he could get poor ol' Geraldo Rivera a job again covering a "Crossing Over" with Lincoln. Hell, maybe JFK would join in the reunion.

(Yes, I know it's a different John Edwards. This is just how I handle talk of politics - with total sophomoric antics.Because I am a total disappointment to my dyed-in-the-wool Democratic family.)

I respect your stance, DGM, and your re-thinking of the situation. I think it's not so much about CANCER but any sort of illness. My husband and I had very different reactions to this story-- he agrees with you, and I feel like it's their decision, it's too soon to tell and he can always pull out later.

My perspective is different perhaps because I went through a year of interferon which is a lot like chemo side-effect-wise, except I kept my hair and we were told I had less than a 20% chance of curing my liver disease.

I kept working as long as I was able. My husband did, too, although as time went on he had to sacrifice time at work.

But while I felt fine, it was important TO ME mentally that we keep things just as they had been, and maybe that's the Edwards's thinking as well.

Dude, tell the truth: you have to admire Edwards for not letting multiple self-inflicted public relation gaffs like shotgun wounds to his presidential-bid's forehead get in the way of continuing his own campaign. You have to admire the single-mindedness.

The Edwards' have faced this battle with cancer before, they have lost a son as well. No one knows better than they do what it's like for them to look disease and death in the eye and not allow it to take over their lives.

They aren't going home for a death watch. They aren't asking for a candlelight vigil. Hell, they aren't even asking for your vote with this announcement.

The Edwards' clearly want people to know the whole truth straight from the horses mouth, because in politics as in life, if you aren't controlling your message, someone else will do it for you.

Lincoln lost a child, suffered devastating depression and watched his wife go insane- all during his presidency. This does not take away from his greatness in office.

Running for office like this requires 100% commitment on the part of the family. This is what they have spent their lives preparing for, and they aren't about to throw in the towel now.

Katie Couric and CBS should be ashamed of themselves for the tone of accusation in the 60 minutes interview. However, it only allowed the Edwards' to demonstrate their resolve and how much they honor each other and the citizens of this country they wish to serve.

Go Edwards' Go!