1. People who write. Like. This.

2. The term “Zero Trans Fat.” Next time you see that term on a food label, look at the nutritional information on the back. The food-makers use that trans fat line to distract you from that fact that their product is drenched in saturated fat, sodium and sugar.

3. Fox Television’s blatant self-promotion and product placement. Can you move the ads please? I’m trying to watch the game.

4. People who refer to people as “people.” OK, people? Cut it out, people? Cut. It. Out.

5. Traffic. Who’s leg do you have to dry hump to get some viable public transportation in Southern California? Must it take me 45 minutes to go 12 miles every night of the week? And if I see one more driver going 25 miles an hour and stopping traffic because he’s more interested in his cell phone conversation than keeping me from blowing a gasket, I’m going to blow a gasket. But I suppose that was implied.

6. The nightly struggle of getting the kids into the bathtub. Guys, we do this every night. You take your clothes off, you get into the bath, you get washed and you get out. Do we really have to go through the whining and complaining and deal-making? Do I have to wrestle you to the ground and rip your Garanimals from your bodies? Fine. Be dirty. See if I care. But don’t come crying to me when the flies start to attack.

7. Browsers who are directed to this site based on Google searches for “pussy.” This is not a porn site. Unless you consider pictures of women in Hot Wife t-shirts pornography, in which case I think we need to talk. Actually? Scratch that. I don't walk to talk to you. You sicko.

8. Washed-up celebrities trying to sell stuff on infomercials. Honestly, is anyone really going to buy that combination smoothie-mixer/dog-walker just because Potsie from Happy Days thinks it’s cool?

9. The price of concert tickets. Who can afford $250 to see The Police at Dodger Stadium? Do you know how many Pop-Tarts I can buy with that money?

10. Perez Hilton. OK, dude. We get it. You like to draw pee and muff and boogers on pictures of celebrities. Very nice. Now go away.

11. The stupid on-set banter between local television anchors and weathermen. “So whaddya say, Fritz? Am I going to be able to get some golf weather tomorrow?” “Heh-heh. Well, Flip, I hope for the sake of the other golfers out there that we get a blizzard.” Kill me now, God.

12. Spam. It’s not even clever. I got this one today: “Cult questions scheduling generation equipment sell. Operation officer thank wirehaired work closer. Be left out join? Trouble charlies angels codes ago suddenly.” Whoever wrote that is a douchebag with really bad syntax. You guys should hire some real writers, for shit’s sake.

13. Famous people being criticized for adopting children from other countries. They need parents. Who gives a shit where they come from?

14. This country’s mind-boggling resistance to legalizing medical marijuana. There was a story in the LA Times this morning about a woman from Oakland who has 12 chronic illnesses, including an inoperable brain tumor. Pot’s the only thing that works for her, but the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals says she can’t have any. Why? The judge who penned the opinion wrote: “The possibility exists that [the terminally ill woman] could make a miraculous recovery or find a legal alternative to pot, undermining any justification for such a shield.” I find that disgusting. When did we become a country who believes in denying people effective medicine just because other people use it improperly in an uncontrolled environment? By that logic, we should also ban glue, cold medicine, spray paint, spoons, lighters and paper in any form.

15. Horrible imitations of Borat. He’s not Italian. Not Russian either. And he's certainly not from Jersey.

16. Taking my shoes off at the airport security checkpoint. Come on, guys. Leave us a little dignity. Do you want me to lift up my balls too so you can see if I’m concealing an open water bottle in my taint?

17. McDonalds’ failed attempts to McPlacate people who eat healthily. What health nut in her right mind is going to choose McDonalds over a restaurant NOT known for making people fat? Why not just embrace the fact that your stores aren’t the place for health-conscious people to eat? Stop trying to be everything to everyone. Be what you are, which is a purveyor of well-packaged shit.

18. My son’s displays of frustration and disappointment. Chill, dude. Seriously. You need to simmer down before we sell you for parts. There’s going to be a lot of frustration in your life but you need not freak out like an orangutan with syphilis every time something doesn’t go your way. You didn’t see me blowing an O-ring when no one bought the new Dad Gone Mad t-shirts, did you? You did? Oh. Never mind then.

19. Anaheim Angels general manager Bill Stoneman. Said he was going to sign a big hitter to bat behind Vlad Guerrero. Didn’t do it. He’s a hack.

20. The presence of large corporations in every facet of our lives. Politics. The environment. Social change. The media. Drug costs. Get out of my fucking way.

21. The stigma attached to mental illness. If you have a problem in your heart or your gut or your mouth, no one says boo about getting medical care for it. But if it’s in your brain, just cheer up and tough it out.

22. The cost of health insurance. One third of my net income goes toward the family’s premiums. That’s obscene.

23. The death of investigative journalism. In his keynote speech at SXSW, Dan Rather said the American media need a spine transplant. Brilliant choice of words. Reporters need to stop exchanging cooperation for access. Stop trying to maintain friendships with your sources and start finding real news. This country needs it. Badly. The corporations who own the newspapers also own the TV stations and film studios, so it’s no wonder we read everyday about who Paris Hilton is fucking and who is the latest convert to Scientology. It’s good for business, right?

24. This weird competitiveness among bloggers. There seem to be cliques everywhere. It’s like high school, but without the locker fires and the guy cranking Twisted Sister in his Mustang. The big-timers only talk to the big-timers, and they never leave comments anywhere. The new and lower-traffic bloggers talk shit about the big-timers. It’s weird. Am I making this up? I feel like I should be failing calculus and not making the basketball team any second now.

Comments

yahoo I'm first. you are a great writer, funny too.

When I see the Proactiv informercial I can't turn it off. I don't know whats wrong with me. As if I CARE whether Vanessa Williams has clear skin.

....somehow I must.

1. I do that sometimes and I know how offensive it is even. as. I. write. Sorry.

4. I can't stand British people who say "guys". Stop it.

7. Browsers come to my site looking for naked Swedes and badly stuffed weasels.

I refuse to comment on this post as you are too far out of my league.

There’s going to be a lot of frustration in your life but you need not freak out like an orangutan with syphilis every time something doesn’t go your way.
I need this on a bumper sticker
(btw, I am wearing my DGM shirt right now.....so,so comfy!)

Oh oh!! I recently wrote a post in which I spoke of how amazing it was that my hubby Folded. The. laundry. Oops!

As for competition among the bloggers - I am one of those low comments Blogger people who is so far out of the race that on those rare occasions when I actually *do* receive a comment, I feel like I did when I was 10 and got a letter in the mail. Woot!

Oh, and if you want to come visit the ranks of the low class blogger, come see me anytime! You can help name my children. (I admit it, I'm a shameless attention whore).

Also? The Champ and my poor, nameless little boy sound like they're cut from the same cloth.

#24 is pretty much accurate as far as I've noticed. #16 made me almost cry! HAHA

This list is awesome. One of your best posts ever. I'm even a Z-list blogger willing to make that claim.

Having a bad day?

I really want to buy a Hot Wife t-shirt. It's incredibly cute, but I'm not married. I'm still deciding whether that does or does not matter.

I mean, I don't want to show up to a date boasting DGM pride and paralyze my boyfriend... though I equally don't want to miss an opportunity to support a favorite blogger (and his admittedly hot wife).

Just fyi (in response to #18).

Your site totally rocks. I'm a technical editor in my paid job, and I just love your honesty and writing. Hilarious and refreshing.

Bill. Stoneman. Is. Awesome.

Totally didn't get the sports reference but nodding my head along with the rest of them. Great list. #14 makes me very sad for our screwed up priorities.

Awesome. Seriously, that was a great post. I second all of your points.

If I was a "big-timer" blogger, you would still be my favorite. And I would post every day.

Plus, I think your t-shirts are awesome. I just can't help but feel silly as a 29 year-old girl (woman? Not used to that yet.) wearing a shirt that says Dad Gone Mad. However, if you made one that said, "water bottle in my taint," I might be willing.

Re: #8: Vanessa Williams and Jessica Simpson STILL have bad skin. Not much of an endorsement in my book.

#21 used to get me, but now I'm too medicated to even care.

#24 is annoying. Even among the little people, there's competition. But you know, I just bought a Hot Wife tee, so won't you come over and comment on my site? Because I am not ashamed of reverse-blackmailing a heavy-hitter into commenting on my 2-comment-a-day blog.

I am also over taking my shoes off at the airport. My favorite is when I wear the Old Navy flip flops (you know, the ones that are a piece of foam as the base and a piece of rubber to keep it on your feet?) and they tell me to take them off. Seriously? I'd like to meet the guy who can hide a bomb in that.

I'm a little guy (gal) blogger, and I rarely leave comments on you big bloggers' sites, 'cause I. am. not. worthy.

#25 (inspired by #23): People getting in a huff over the use of the words "faggot" and "retard". I have to say that a republican actually did something right when Ann Coulter defended her use of the word faggot as a school-yard taunt. All you fags out there demanding apologies are retarded.

I call people "people" all of the time and I will continue to do so, even though you are over it. Infact, I think I may even be tempted to do it even more, just to annoy you!

I won't comment about #24 because, um....nottt going to saaaaaayyyyyy anyyyyyyythiiiiiiing.

DGM,
Thanks for telling us what you are over. I am certain that we all agree with you more than you can imagine. However please understand that your blog is so very appreciated and loved. You are the medicine that takes many pains away. Thank you for the laughter and thought provoking posts. If I see you on Sunday I am going to give you a big hug because I know that I can help you turn that frown upside down. Dammit! I just cannot write like you.. BG, some help here...

Here's the thing, people. Sometimes. I. Must. Talk. Like. This.

Other than that, I feel your pain. Mostly.

Yea, I'm the lowest on the totem pole. I love to read certain blogs, but am afraid to leave a comment for fear of sounding stupid. I'm one of the people that upset good bloggers. "She was here, I know she was,, no comment..what an idiot.." so i mostly lurk.. sorry. but i do enjoy your blogs.

#5 -- I'm in total agreement. When I'm back in the US, I may have to shoot the people who fly by in the "this lane closing shortly" lane to squeeze their giant SUVs in front of the rest of us who are patiently waiting in the NOT-closing lane, because, of course, their hurry is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than ours. (Traffic in Japan mostly means not hitting old ladies on mopeds who weave in and out of traffic, and not KILLING the slow asshat on the Kawasaki after finally passing him, when he squirms back in front of you at the next traffic light!)

#13 & #14 -- amen.

#18 -- Hope he outgrows it. Still hoping my husband outgrows it, too.

#21 -- Thank you. To add to that, why is it ok for a diabetic to need insulin for the rest of his life, but those of us with mental illnesses are questioned as to "how long are you going to take that shit?" Umm...forever, unless you really WANT to see my head spin around like Linda Blair's. It doesn't "medicate" me, it balances out the out-of-whack brain chemicals, much as insulin balances out a diabetic's blood sugar.

Love your blog, DGM, glad you're out there posting.

#16. Dude? TWEENER!

#24. Who are the big bloggers? Isn't that you?

Must. Use. This. Annoying. Tactic. each time my own son breaks into b-list actress hysterics over such mundane things as me closing in on his submarine during a game of Battleship. Hate both of these. And I kinda hate Battleship, too.

And I'm probably like the Alley Sheedy character from Breakfast Club, hanging out in the back, quietly with my blog, laughing here as I lurk. I can't do anymore Saturday detentions, so I say nothing about anybody.

Stoneman deserves to be FIRED because of the Matthews deal alone! Yeah, some nice big bat - NOT!

How odd that your last rant would be something I've noticed recently and written about as well. There are cliques, and lots of bloggers who end up alienating their readers with their increased popularity. Not you of course, but there is something in the air.

#21--Try having a KID with a mental illness. It's of course all MY fault because I'm his mother. People are so horrible around a kid with bipolar disorder. Like he wants to be manic. I don't think so.

#24--I'll add big name bloggers who can't even lower themselves to say "Thank You" when a lesser name blogger does them a huge favor. Can't respond to email, can't comment, and can't even acknowlege you're alive. Never mind that they ONLY read each other and 'sqeeee' at how brilliant they are. Blech!

#13. Um, I'm a tad bit pissed that Angelina and Brad can fly to a country, pick out a new kid, and leave the very next day with said kid. NOBODY else gets to do that. Nobody. International adoption is very difficult and takes a long time. But not for them. Yes, it's great that they are taking in kids. But so many other people would LOVE to take in those kids and can't due to cost, and to silly regulations put up by the host country, like how much a potential adopter weighs.

Uh, I hate to break this to you, and I don't know if this has been discussed already - but have you heard of the term "hot wife" as like a... um... fetish thing?

As in some guys REALLY ENJOY being married to a woman that cuckholds them? That's what the whole thing is about. Cuckholding.

Love your blog, btw!

Your health insurance is so expensive because you live in the grand old US of A. Considered heading north? We have universal health care, and really awesome beer.

Ha..guilty of #5..I've been practacing my Khazakstanian, but it keeps coming out tony Soprano, or spomething

But you left off empty-scrotumed waffling creative directors (who will be left nameless to protect the innocent)

Ok, hard for most people to believe it's useful as it is a hassle, but No. 16 really is necessary. I was a flight attendant, and there was once a man got arrested because he tried to bring dangerous items on board. Where did he hide the items? He sawed the soles of his leather shoes that looked like what most office workers would wear, cut out the inner middle parts slightly so that there's depth, placed the items in between the soles, and glued them back neatly. What were the items? A miniature matchbox and a small sachet of gun powder. Imagine the consequences.
So I totally think we should never be too careful.
Flip flops seems safe of course, but you can't bend the rules just for them I guess, otherwise everyone will start complaining why stilettos can't, etc.
That said, love your posts, DGM, muacks!!

Back again. Can I nominate a #25? People who wear their trousers slung so low, their arses are falling out.

PULL YOUR BLOODY TROUSERS UP!

Thank you.

Well I'm no blogger - but I am guilty of enjoying you on a daily (ok I admit it - sometimes I check twice a day just to see if you posted something new in the 2 hours since I left...) basis and I don't always comment. Sometimes I worry I'll sound stupid - and sometimes I have nothing original to say. However I still read every day and love love love love your writing.

That being said - I'm not married. So do I get a DGM shirt and hope no-one at the playground thinks I'm post-op?? Or do I go with a hot wife, but stop off at that airbrushing place in the mall and have them add "future" in front?? Please advise oh wise one!!

Wait a minute? There are big time bloggers?

Uh Oh! Seriously I do 1 and 4. Probably more often than I should (since apparently I shouldn't!) Whoops! I think number 11 is kind of cute but I'm feelin ya with most of those. Normally I'm just a lurker but I think I was drawn to comment here today because man do I like lists. A lot.

Great list!

Amen!

Just found your site and this was a great post! As a fellow thirty-something dad, I can relate to a lot of stuff you write. Bookmarking your site now :)

Brian
http://candyaddict.com
http://myvogonpoetry.com

Well, that was a first. The first time I ever saw the word "taint." I've said it a few times and I've heard it a lot, but there's just something about seeing it in actual print.

And you're not imagining the whole "competitive blogger" thing. You hit the nail on the head.

This is the truest blog entry I've read in ages. And the last number is exactly right. You're not making it up.

DGM,
I laughed out loud at a lot of what you wrote here, which is a good thing because there can be so much to cry about.

But, about #25 (and I know the biz well). Stories about Scientology and Paris Hilton are not killing journalism. Actually, the Internet and the desire (and ability) to have information 24/7 (stories posted 7 minutes ago? So yesterday ...) have killed it. Look at the bigger Internet presence of all papers, including YouTube-like videos and podcasts. When the publisher of the NYT says they'll be no print product in 5 years, ya gotta wonder.

So what happens? If you have to get the "hottest" news before anyone else, things are going to get shoddy. but no one seems to care too much because there's always a Paris or Anna or Brad to ease our "pain." Trust me, outside of things like car crashes and fires and drug busts, these are the kind of stories that get the most hits.

As for #18 ... I do feel your pain on that one. It is a developmental thing but if you don't handle it properly (as in getting wishy-washy and giving in instead of setting boundaries and sticking to them), boy, oh boy, is it going to come back and bite you in the ass (with expletives) when he becomes a teen! On the plus side, you'll have soooo much more to blog about!

Bravo to #2, 3, 6, 9, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 22, and 23. All of these deserve further, in depth, ranting.

#24? I'm one of the new guys, and I haven't see it yet. I can understand why a new blogger would skulk in the shadows for awhile just to learn how it all works.

I can also understand how someone getting hundreds of comments every day would simply not have time to engage everyone, so they stick to their regulars.

I love love love your blog - i come see everyday but I never post! Big time blogers are intimidating! I totally agree about being SO OVER THESE THINGS!!!

You can hide a water bottle in your taint? WOW.

How does one fit a water bottle in one's "taint"? I must try that sometime, unless I don't have one because I have no fucking clue what you're talking about.

In regards to #1: did you know that food companies can claim zero trans fat even if the product contains up to 1/2 gram of trans fat?! So that means that if you eat more than one serving of the product you are still eating an unhealthy amount of trans fats! I wish they would just tell me what I'm eating!

Re #7: I get that at my site too, except for the word "cleavage". I've used the word twice in the entire site and still I get hits for it. My friends are not your sexual playthings!

Hi Danny!

I'm Anson and he's Donnie. You may remember us as Potsie and Ralph from Happy Days. But we have a new "taint" line we're plugging and everytime we Google "taint", well...it leads us right back to you...cocksucker!

I am glad I am not on the list. Phew!

I noticed that Amy dyed her hair about the same color as the HOT WIFE shirt lettering. You should be proud that you influenced a big blogger.

I agree that you should run a batch of Future Hot Wife shirts. I'd buy one because my g/f told Lance Berkman that although he didn't know it, she is his future ex-wife.

I hate anyone in management saying, "my people" as in, "I'll make sure my people here about the new policy". They don't belong to you. I was always so careful to say "my staff" or, even better, "the staff" back when I used to be all boss-like.

Ah, shit. I type. like. this. AND I say "people!"

Maybe I should head over to Dooce and criticize her in her comments. That always makes me feel better.

#5. The answer to all your traffic problems here in SoCal. Get on a motorcycle and wave to all the people parked on the 405 as you drive by. I love it.

#24. Now you're going to feel obligated to comment on everyone's blog who have left a comment on your's today. N'est pas? :)

i do the "people" thing. fuck you, asshole! now i'm going to go talk about you behind your back with amy!

heh.

Dude,
With 2 kids I can not believe you have this much spare time on your hands!! I think someone should hire you as a journalist, you are the best I have ever read!

Since I don't watch tv, I really can't comment on those comments. But I DO have kids, and what I did was always give them a choice: Do you want to take your bath right now, or do you want to clean the toilet with a toothbrush?

Bathing won out.

What about tall, skinny bloggers? Where do they fit in?

Oh, and I'm looking at a 45 minute commute for a two and a half mile drive. I'm lucky I can take the bus.

Now go make sexy time with your hot wife. For benefit of DGM.

DGM, you had me at #10.

And after #21, I'm totally willing to follow your skinny butt into battle.
Here's my question- is there a reason only a few anti- depressants have been approved for pregnant women? And at very low doses? So women who have depression either 1. shouldn't get pregnant or 2. should do so at great risk to their own mental health? Have the docs just not gotten around to it? Or is it just not a priority?

Gotta say to "Foster" though- not a fan of the 6-letter "f" word. It's just been used too much in hate of one particular kind of people to make it an ok non-specific, teasing, kind of word. It's much easier to learn a new one than to be so hurtful and seem like such a douche (see how I did that?).

I think this stuff every single day but I never could have written it down as well as you have. All I can say is AMEN!

One question though...maybe I missed something but why do you call it a taint? Is it cuz you taint gettin' any? Okay, I'm sorry. No, really.

I thought taint was reserved for female parts? But then, I'm not a big-time blogger so I may not have the lingo down.

If chatting with your son about freaking out whenever he doesn't get his way works, I'll personally fly you across the country to talk to my son.

If you make the " There’s going to be a lot of frustration in your life but you need not freak out like an orangutan with syphilis every time something doesn’t go your way." bumper stickers, I will so buy them!! Oh - and I am definitely.going.to.buy.a.DGM.
shirt!!

Oh. Wow. (Okay, but it really just needed to be there.) Just today I heard the song "High School Never Ends" and had a fucking epiphany. It doesn't end. Ever. Cliques, cliques everywhere. It really hit home because this week, as well, I realized just how segregated the blogdom really is. The popular kids look down upon the really nice kids who just didn't make the cut but are really nice kids anyway. The older bloggers think the younger bloggers are infantile. The rich bloggers who can afford the cool templates and graphics and bandwidth get more attention than those using a generic free template. The younger ones are in awe of the older ones, but are intimidated as hell. Oh yeah, high school really never does end. I am still a nerd who just can't quite get popular enough to date the coolest guy in school. I just babysit his kid now.

Great post.

if you want to do less popular websites a favor, make the ads on Blogads your site less expensive so that I can buy one.

Re: anonymous' commet:

If anyone is interested in advertising on this site but thinks the rates are too high, just write to me. I WANT to be available to smaller advertisers.

Those humongous rates are for the corporations who can afford big skyscrapers like the Comcast ad in the sidebar. But if you run a small business or write a blog that you want to advertise here, I can work independently with you. This ain't China. Is this China? No, it's definitely no China.

Also, you may have noticed some Amazon ads on the right sidebar. Those are new and I have total control over what is advertised there (as evidenced by the ads for Borat and Ali G.). If anyone clicks through those ads and buys the product, I get a kickback from Amazon. I'm skeptical about it, but I'll try it for a month or two and see what comes of it. But I will only promote things that I like and recommend.

In conclusion, I'm a grubbing whore, but you have made me that way. I'm a product of your relentless support and encouragement.

P.S. -- I'm saving the proceeds from these ads (assuming there are any) to throw us a big party, with drugs and hookers and guns. Save the date.

Just came across your blog from the comment you left on Leahpeah.

I'm no big timer, but I love this post! I snotted on myself.

I wasn't going to comment, but here I am. First off, some of my previous comments could have been taken in a negative way. The only bad feelings I have towards you are jealosy. I'll get over it. As for "Big Bloggers" my favorites seem to get full of themselves, start trying too hard, and become less fun to read. I like your stuff a lot and may actually part with some bucks someday. Now a " There’s going to be a lot of frustration in your life but you need not freak out like an orangutan with syphilis every time something doesn’t go your way." t shirt... (XXL?)

wow....those are fantastic!! I love all of them, especially...well all of them. and you are so right about the blogger thing. When I first started blogging, I was reading all the "important" ones of the "famous" people, commenting and crap. did they ever acknowledge it or blog back and say hey thanks for stopping by? Nooooooo.....so now I fully expect you to visit me! ;)

Your number one just totally outed my online William Shatner impersonation! I mean really, when. I. talk. like. this. can't you just hear his voice?! LOL
Excellent post, as usual.

As a Canadian where my country does allow for legalized pot for medical purposes, I am constantly appalled by #14. And I totally agree, someone come take away my spoons!

The problem with mentally ill people is that they're nuts.

LOL! Great list! I.hate.the.period.thing.too. Drives me crazy when I'm trying to read.

You know, I must be oblivious to what's going on around me. I've never noticed any competitiveness amongst bloggers - maybe I'm just naive...

danny, in addition to being uproariously funny you seem to have a knack for attracting serious milf talent to your website.

Traffic. Yes, i want to petition the DMV to include a pamphlet or video series called, "How to drive on LA's freeways", or at least a little creativity on enacting new "laws". It should impose sentancing for bastards who change from the fast lane to the slow lane just to gain 10 feet of space, while causing the rest of traffic to lose 50 feet due to sudden braking. No, not a suspended licence per se, a suspension from driving on the freeway during rush hour. Assholios that drive with their ultra bright halogen lithium spotlight oversize headlights that insist on driving 3 feet behind my bumper if i choose to go less that 90 mph. The manditory sentance of driving a 1986 Yugo for a period of not less that 3 years.
Morons that think the 101 freeway has suddenly transformed into the Hooters 500 or a James Bond escape scene. Sentance includes riding on Disneylands PeopleMover on 3 hits of LSD for a period of no less than 60 straight hours. It should also restrict any and all truck drivers from the freeway system since I HATE THEM ALL!!! No, you all are not fantasizing about some Stephen King wet dream of retaliation against the "little cars" of the world. GO DIE!
It should include lesser sentances/ public commendations for freeway shooters when the judge and jury nod in unison, "I can understand his rage".

Dear Danny,

Please, please make the "Hiding a Water Bottle in my Taint" shirt. Or, if that fails, "freaking out like an orangutan with syphilis".

I'd steal that as a tagline...if I weren't in awe of you, oh Great and Powerful DGM. Really, I don't get the whole competition/high school thing, but than again, I had no school spirit and spent a great deal of time either laughing at the absurdity or ignoring high school.

Well played, Dad, well played.

Blogland has cliques? Get. Out.

Comments.petering.out.

Let's get to work on a new post people!

You've inspired this low-traffic blogger to make a list of her own.

Where can I special order a
"Hot Wife Gone Mad" t-shirt?

I LOVE to TALK! LIKE! THIS! Part of the fun is the fact that it's annoying to people.

I don't even pay attention to the blogger-competitiveness thing. Whatever. You like to write? Just write. If you're talking to yourself, who cares? I once read a post about "blog envy," in which the person stated that other blogs were getting more comments on "things that I could've written better." Grow. Up.

That whole "blog envy" comment from Karen made me remember that I actually wrote about that very thing a few months ago (and I'm pretty sure I'm not the person she was talking about!! Who knew I was so ahead of my time? lol.

http://treenbeanblog.blogspot.com/search?q=envy

I'm so unpopular I don't even know who the popular bloggers are.

As for #6, have you tried letting them take a shower? My son is only two and this is his new favorite thing. I didn't have the energy for the battle and my original plan was just to throw him in there and hose him down, but he actually enjoyed it.

There are lots of blogs, but not many good ones with mass appeal. This is a good one. I enjoy it.

Oh.Man!This.Is.Already.old?

Actually, queenann, douche is a gender-specific slur in line with pussy and sissy, so, as a woman, I take high offense to it.

As for popular blogs, it depends on the blogging genre. There are many many popular blogs out there, but you may not encounter many of them b/c you read a different genre. And, heck, Ive been reading and blogging for seven years now, before the term "blog" was invented, and I still dont read very many blogs. Yanno, back when they had articles and were called e/n sites? Anyone remember Stileproject? Didnt think so, even though he is the great-grandaddy of blogging. And webcams. And making enough money to live off of your nothing website. What Im saying is, popular is only so when everyone else knows it exists, and not everyone knows the "popular" sites even exist. Dont forget, the average guy on the street doesnt even know what a blog is, let alone care. Oh, and what was popular seven years ago sure as shit isnt now, even though back then, they all thought they could walk on water, too.

I'm so off the blogger radar that I didn't even realize there were cliques. I guess that makes me the geek in the corner of the cafeteria that doesn't know he's a geek.

Great list though.

What a great list! Number 12 kills me - what sense is there in flooding an Inbox with messages of random words and phrases patched together? Not that I appreciate the endless Via1gra and Cial!is spam, but at least someone is trying to sell me something.

I did not realize there were blogging cliques, at least to the point where some talk trash about others. Call me oblivious.

Numbers 21 and 22 piss me off so much that anything I try to type here will be incoherent, so suffice it to say I agree.

Great post.

"24. This weird competitiveness among bloggers. There seem to be cliques everywhere. It’s like high school, but without the locker fires and the guy cranking Twisted Sister in his Mustang. The big-timers only talk to the big-timers, and they never leave comments anywhere. The new and lower-traffic bloggers talk shit about the big-timers. It’s weird. Am I making this up? I feel like I should be failing calculus and not making the basketball team any second now."

I was wondering about the exact same thing. And how it seems that the majority of paid bloggers..specially in the parental mode seem to have to be sarcastic and ironic and if you are not..forgetaboutit. And how if you are not part of that clique and dare comment...you will not get any sort of acknowledgment for the comment or statement....nutting.

Can we add to that word verification!???

Get decent spam filters and stop fucking it up for the dyslexic!

Given you have control over the Amazon.com products shown in your sidebar, I suggest you fire up one of the many dildo products they offer. I stumbled upon their assortment while searching for a skateboard for my son one evening. The 12-inch pink powered pu**y penetrator must have ABEC bearings. Not sure what this would do to your reader demographics.

For the record, Danny has personally e-mailed me, so he's obviously not a Big Time blogger.

That will not stop me from talking shit about him, but at least you know who the real bad guy is now.

No. 18: You just described my daughter to a T.

No. 1: Guilty.

No. 24: Right on the money.

No. 18: You just described my daughter to a T.

No. 1: Guilty.

No. 24: Right on the money.

When I was a little kid I took mini kid showers, scrunching under the running tub faucet to "shower." I was really into pea-sized stuff when I was small. Might work as a novelty.

Dude.

I am so ripping off your idea of a list of things that I'm over.

Please consider it the sincerest form of flattery.

I got here via The New Girl. I love your list and I'm adding you to my favorites. =)

I am also going to attempt to flatter you and make a list as well.

I'm guilty of #1 and I totally heart you for #24. Also? I do digg it.

You just summed up the whole blogging thing for me. I agree wholeheartedly. I joined thinking I would instantly have a network of friends with similar life issues and interests. Instead, I've been reminded that I suck and no one gives a crap that I suck. Bravo for your entry. So true. So true.