True or False?
Our collective fascination with celebrities is a way of distracting ourselves from our own lives. We want to know every detail of the lives of famous, troubled men and women because it’s our way of convincing ourselves that somebody out there is a bigger mess than we are.

My answer: true.

Like virtually everyone else, I check the usual sites to find out who in Hollywood was caught on film this weekend snorting coke or cavorting braless at the mall or was back in rehab. As evidenced by my contributions to Snarkywood, it’s something I pay attention to and like to discuss and find to be an easy target for tearing people apart. But as time has gone on, my feelings have changed. And I think I know why.

In my previous life as a sportswriter, I was in a position to meet and talk to some famous people. Michael Jordan. Tiger Words. And so on. Though I was still young and naïve enough be star-struck around people I’d only seen on television before, I became more and more aware over time that what we see on TV or the web is a mere sliver of the truth. Off camera, they’re us. They have children. They get depressed and anxious and irritable. They struggle with life in the same ways you and I do. Fame is not immunity.

At some point between sportswriting and today, I became mature enough to identify my own fallibility. I realized that when life becomes difficult or scary, I have a tendency to seek out distractions – something to take my mind away from the fear and depression and frustration. I don’t think I’m the only one who does that. As a matter of fact, I think just about all of us do it. Celebrities included.

So while the ever-expanding A-list of troubled young women struggle (in public) with their own lives and addictions and personal demons, we spend our days watching them do it and judging them for the way they handle themselves. Because it’s easy – far easier than turning our attention to ourselves and dealing with our lives and our addictions and our personal demons. If we saw in ourselves the sad, ugly, inconsistent behaviors we see in Britney and Lindsay and Paris, we'd have to confront our own weaknesses. And that’s hard. Really hard. Too hard.

If I honestly gave two shits about Paris Hilton, I’d have to borrow them both. And when I see people like Perez Hilton posting pictures of people just so he can call them ugly, it occurs to me that it’s gone too far. We’re all ugly. We’re all flawed and broken in some way. And watching someone else fall apart won’t change that.

I've "resigned" from Snarkywood. I've deleted my bookmarks for the celebrity sites. I've made a conscious decision to ignore the bloodlust for daily images and analysis of the comings and goings of celebrities. I've got my own imperfections to look after, and that's plenty.

Comments

You have made me laugh for so long now that I kept waiting for the punch line. HURRAY for your change of heart! I've always thought that way and I'm glad to see that it must not mean I don't have a sense of humor!

amen! bruthu!

Here here! Wish more felt the same way.

Bravo, Danny! I'm not there yet, but working on it.

After the whole Anna Nicole debacle, I've stopped. Cold turkey.

I realize that the more we feed into it the worse it's going to get. There would be no interest of Reese Witherspoon's kids if WE weren't buying the trash mags, watching Access Hollywood, etc.

It's painful that we're more interested in Britney Spears' bald head than soldiers dying in Iraq.

So, I am with you -- I made the change awhile ago and I haven't looked back.

You're funnier and more scandalous than any of that crap. Plus, I'd MUCH rather gossip about people I know.

I'm with Wondersis! Truth is always better than fiction anyway and most of that tabloid shit isn't real.

Thank you for opening my eyes. Instead of complaining about it I will do something about it.....Rock on DGM!

Wow. So well put.

I have always felt this way. people are people. Our teachers and soldiers deserve more money and praise than the stupid fuck that Paris is. I rarely watch tv anymore and turned off the radio when Anna Nicole died. What about the kid that I taught in high school that died while fighting in a foreign land? Thanks Danny, I needed this opportunity to vent.

I've felt that way for some time, but then when I read it I laugh and carry on, so I'm thinkin I should be a little more like you and stop the madness!

Good call, sir, good call.

Go, Danny! I imagine it's hard for them to have any semblance of normalcy in their lives. They don't need us gawking at them as they crash and burn. You made the right choice.

i was asked not too long ago to write for a site very similar to snarkywood. i said no for the same reasons you write about. i figure, the more time we spend tearing others down, the less time we have for building people up, including ourselves. life is too short for the negativity. we get back what we put out there.

Well, I was right there with you...then I clicked on the Snarkywood link. And practically peed my pants. I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. Really, it was just the first two pictures and captions. In fact, just the FIRST picture...and I'm sure that dog will never know that you called it a s'more.

you crack me up all the time!

well said

Rock on!

Britney and Lindsay and Paris...Perez Hilton.
Is that a typo?

MIKE: Perez Hilton is a celebrity oops blogger that capitalizes on the (very poor) decision making of most of these people. He's pretty mean to many of them and sometimes funny, but DGM is much, much more funny.

DGM: I agree that it's gone WAY to far. Than again, I felt that way after seeing the piles of flowers all over England after Di died....such a fuss after a waste of a human life, because some idiots wanted more pictures of her. How stupid.

I admit to one site that I can/will not stop visiting only (gofugyourself) but that hasn't to do with celebrities lives so much as their crap taste in clothes. Don't care enough about thier lives ever to catch up...I try to stay in touch with the people I know IRL and on blogs.

I'm a little sad about the Snark - just cause that's pretty much my only celeb intake, but I'm glad you've decided to take a stand for what you feel is right.

Your writing here has always been (and I'm sure always will be) more funny and spot on than any celebrity debacles.

P.S. - TY TY TY Hot Wife - I used your recipe this weekend!!!! FYI Artichokes go GREAT with grilled salmon!!

Glad to hear it. I've just not been able to get into the whole celebrity thing since OJ. Like giving them our attention justifies their behavior.

But the last Snarkywood was months ago and about a dog show!

Bossy totally agrees. And she will stop. Tomorrow. Or whichever day she stops eating chocolate and drinking wine after 8pm.

Let me guess...your change of heart has come from the fact that someone took a photograph of you getting out of your car and your nut sac fell out of your running shorts?

Great post.

very well said. I think the same could be said for reality tv, or is that going too far? ;) What REALLY matters, people?

Brave. And very thought provoking.

Good for you! I share your struggle; I hate, HATE celebrity gossip magazines, TV shows, etc., but when there's a "celebrity news" mag at the doctor's office, it just sucks me in. That's not to say I'm going to quit bitching about celebrities who piss me off, but we'll all be better off if we ignore the gossip as much as we can.

If we're lucky, people will start paying attention to the actors, singers, etc. who are actually talented rather thhan those who obsessively court the press... well, I can dream, can't I?

Wow. I applaud you on your statements. Also, since I have no real rooting interest in the NHL with the current slate of teams...I'm hoping the Ducks take out the Red Wings (the fuckwads) tonight!

Best

Here, here.

De-lurking because this post really hit home. This is so interesting because I recently did the same thing. That is, I deleted all my bookmarks to the celeb sites. I was reminded of the damage they perpetuate after watching "The Queen." I thought I was the only one...

Kudos to you for making this decision.

I think so many of us throw ourselves into something in order to avoid dealing with our own lives. Celebrity watching happens to be a popular thing as you pointed out since it allows people to feel better about their own problems in the process.

My wife has often accused me of having an addictive personality since I always throw myself into whatever happens to have caught my interest, whether it's a book, a new video game, blogging, the list just goes on and on... It's hard to just stop all of it and face up to life.

Good luck with the battle!

Wait a minute! Didn't anyone see that Rebecca had an artichoke and loved it? Artichokes go great with everything. That is way more important. Food always trumps celebs.

hey, first time commenter here.

I have wanted to write an entry like this for a long time but could never seem to get the words quite right.

I live thousands of miles away from Hollywood but have met more celebrities then I can count.
My Husband has worked in the film/television industry for 18 years now. He has done it all but the last 8 or so years he has mostly been and AD. (Assistant Director, 2nd AD and 1st AD the last several years)

His job requires that he has very close contact with the actors and has been witness to some interesting stuff over the years. We constantly joke that once he is done in the industry we are going to co-write a book. I doubt we actually would though.

So, I have given a lot of thought to the whole celebrity fascination thing as I've seen both sides. Society seems to like to build them up and tear them down, only to build some of them back up again. It is a sickeningly fascinating process to watch happen, more interesting then the celebrities themselves most times.

You've hit the nail squarely on the head here. I call it the mirror effect. The more I notice someone going on and on about someone else, it becomes clear that it really isn't about the other person at all. Turn that mirror around and look at who it is really about.

Like you said though, it seems to be way too hard for most to deal with. Judging by the bile that comes out of some people's mouths about others, I can see why it would be so hard.

There are lots of people who choose to act as a career. It is just that simple for most of them. The notion that all the gossip and hate that comes along with acting as a career choice is them just bringing it on themselves is ridiculous. It also tells me a lot more about the person saying the crap then it does about the person they are talking about.

I enjoyed this entry very much, thank you. I hope others will follow your lead.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Good for you! I can't count how many times I've said that "I'm going to stand in front of God for half of eternity trying to explain myself, so I'm working hard not to judge others." Those who live in glass houses, you know...

My grandmother always quoted the bible in "judge not, lest ye be judged" I have so learned this one the hard way. It is truly the only way to live your life. But, so damn hard.

I so, SO agree. Like others have said, my fascination with all things Hollywood had been waning the past year or so, but ever since the whole Anna Nicole debacle, I've washed my hands of the whole sordid mess. I couldn't care less about who broke up with whom or about the next ten Somalian kids Brad and Angelina are adopting. And Paris Hilton? Don't get me started on that ugly ass over-cooked piece of chicken-looking thing. Feh! Great post, DGM.

There comes a point in every writer's life when he (or she) must examine the drivel he creates. Sometimes it makes you a better writer; other times it makes you realize that the joy you originally took from it has long since faded and all that's left is a "job."

So, are you really having a moral catharsis, or are you just lazy?

Interesting.

I occasionally keep track just to see who isn't wearing any underwear.

The day it's Bea Arthur I'll stop.

Wow, interesting timing. DH and I have been cutting out that crap too. Ours was a combo of Brad/Angelina and Anna Nicole, with poor Britney shaving her head as the cherry on top. It hurt my heart to see her. Her eyes were just so dead that you knew she needed to be left alone and mend herself.

I caught myself watching E! for about 10 minutes the other day and was disgusted all over again and turned it immediately. It is just middle school cruelness now.

We also watch less local TV News now as well. I watched them spend about one minute talking about Bush policies and about 5 talking about celebrity crap. I get mine online and from several sources because there is just a lot they aren't telling us in mainstream news.

hey good solution. I reached the same conclusion. I think we should all get together and just ignore these people. To help others, on my blog I have a section dedicated to this, that I call PLP..People Like Paris...
keep up the good work, great blog!

~GL HOFFMAN, Jobdig, Minneapolis
http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds
what would dad say

I guess my question would be, how is it that some actors and actresses seem to manage to avoid the sordid overexposure that others seem to court? No question the paparazzi are often uninvited and unwelcome, but I get the distinct impression that some PR agents consider *any* press to be better than *no* press. Indeed, hasn't Paris Hilton built her career (such as it is) on being famous, rather than on talent? If the press and the gossip is all but encouraged by certain outrageous behavior, and if other celebrities with taste and judgment manage to avoid the media's attention, it can be difficult to drum up a whole lot of sympathy for the train wrecks.

That said, whether the train wrecks are worthy of our attention is an entirely different and valid question.

I don't think it's a bad thing that our society can have discussions about what is good judgment, what is moral behavior, and what values we've taken too far. If object lessons are the vehicle for those discussions, well, at least it's something that brings average people together.

Every celebrity deserves the benefit of the doubt when it comes to the tabloids and gossip columns.

Except Tom Cruise.

Wow--a great post. Congratulations on your Rising Blogger award!

I don't care about celebrities. No one should. There's nothing special about them. People who spend time caring about what these people say are validating useless behavior from useless people. If someone is "famous", or has a lot of money, doesn't mean they are special, or better than any of us. Celebrities are just people and who really cares what they do. If you do care, you are wasting your time. Bush supporters should die and get out of my way.

Hi, cool site, good writing ;)