The problem isn’t that she says it. I want her to say it. I need her to say it.

The problem, if you can even call it that, is it’s all she says anymore. She says it, I say it back, she says it again, I say OK, she goes away for a minute, comes back and says it again.

I’m talking about my daughter.

I’m talking about “I love you.”

God, I know how awful this must sound. How could a father even say such a thing? What kind of heartless bastard goes onto the Internet to tell the whole world his daughter loves him too much?

But you must believe me when I tell you that the child has completely lost her shit. Imagine living with a three-foot Betsy Wetsy doll whose pull-string is jammed. All day long: “Oops. Betsy made a wee-wee. Waaah! Waaah! Change me. Change me before I get a rash.” It’s funny the first five times, maybe even a little endearing. But try living with it all day, every day. I dare you.

The degree of difficulty grows exponentially when I consider all that comes with the phrase. She’s always smiling when she says it. Three-quarters of the time she follows the words with a kiss or a hug. And with increasing frequency she hangs for an extra second or two on the L for extra emphasis: “I lllllllllove you, daddy!”

I disappeared for about an hour Saturday to file a police report about that whole identity theft thing. (By the way, if you’re the fuckshit who borrowed my life last week, I hope you like ass rape because you’re going to get a steady diet it of it from an ill-mannered axe murdered named Butch real soon.) When I got home, my daughter came running at me like a freight train. I picked her up, hugged her and was serenaded by this:

“I lllllove you, daddeeeeee! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! I love you, daddy. I love you around the whole wide world. That’s how much I love you. Mwah! I love you, daddy! Mwah! Mwahmwahmwah! Mwah! I lllllove you, daddy! I love you all the way to Penss…Pencil…Pencilman..

“Pennsylvania?”

“Yeah. Pencilmania. I love you all the way to Pencilmania. Oh! And daddy? Guess what? I lllllllllllllove you! Mwah!”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” I said. “I love you, too.”

“Mwah! I llllllllove you, daddeeeeeeee! Mwah! Mwahmwahmwah! I lllllove you, daddy! Mwah!”

Can you understand my conundrum? It reminds me of those weirdos at the gym, like the hairy Neanderthal on the elliptical trainer next to you. You don't make eye contact with him and you don't dare actually speak to him because you know doing so would make him think you're his new best friend and you couldn't get him to stop talking even if you shoved a yoga mat down his throat. This is not a lot different. If I respond, she'll continue until such time as I can get Barney to call the house and say, "Shut it, kid! Your yapping is making the kid on my show with the hearing aid blind and incontinent."

For those who need the obvious stated, I love this child with the fury of a runaway train. She has stirred emotions in me that defy description. She even told me that she’s going to have a princess party for her next birthday and I’m invited. All of that. She makes my chest explode.

But God! OK! I get it. You love me. A lot. I love you too. In fact, I love you so much that I'm going to give you one more week to chill out before we resort to jaw-wiring.

Comments

Awwwwwww. secretly you enjoy it don't you?

I guess I should consider myself lucky that my twins don't speak yet. ;)

Maybe it's time to have that talk with her about what makes things special- like rarity. ;-) Maybe you could get her started on another bandwagon- make something up and say it to her. When she wears that out, make up something new.

Whatever you do, it's an awfully nice problem to have............

We're at the point where all I hear is, "Watch this Mommy!" "Watch my trick." "Watch how many times I can jump this rope." "Watch me swing." "Watch me take a bite of food."
Watch Mommy start drinking at noon.

In 10 years you will be dying to hear that from her. Soak it up for your reserves.

Deep breath, Danny. It's a phase. Like many other phases kids go through. Maybe she knows that phrase gets your attention, maybe she is a little insecure about something right now. You can try to figure that out. But just when you do, she will be on to some other equally annoying phase. It's part of the charm of parenting.

I love it... but I get the picture. You can only stand so much sappyness! :)

But trust me, you will miss this phase when its gone. Im sure of it! Once she hits 13 it will be I HATE YOU I HATTTTTTTTE You.

I clearly remember those days I uddered those words to my parents.

oh you are soooo bad!

Am I the only one who thinks Pencilmania sounds like a cool place to live?

Call me needy but I love every second of it.

My daughter does this too and I love to hear it, but I'm right there with you, it does get a little tiresome. Espcially if you don't respond in kind immediately.

I would like to say it is a short lived phase, but it's going on 2 years now in my household.

check out this hilariously funny vacation story. is it good parenting? probably not, is it funny? yes. i can absolutely relate. http://www.mypetpeeves.com/plog/index.php/archives/2726

My cat used to do that, and then we gave him Prozac. Oh wait, we're not talking about pets who won't leave you alone, are we?

It's the day when in desperation you sort of yell " yes, I KNOW!" and their face crumples, then you feel like shit. Also, video her saying it, several times, make a montage and then keep if for 10 years time so you can play it to her on replay and drive her nuts when she says she hates you and you know nothing and you never cared about her etc. That gets dull way quicker than the sugary 4 year old stuff, I promise.

Although I know EXACTLY what you mean, my 12 year old daughter has gone from "I Love You Daddy" to "Gawwwd, Dad" everytime we talk. I think I miss the 1st phrase.

Remember, it doesn't get better, it just gets different.

Oh I hear you!! Funny. :-)

My son says "Why, why, why"...

But to add salt to my ever-growing wound, he adds, "What? What'd you say, What? What Mommy" into the middle of his why sessions. I thought that I was going to die with just the "Why", but now it's even WORSE!!

You say what every parent wants to say! We love our kids but that does not mean that they are not as annoying as hell!

My 11 year old daughter can't stand to live in a world that is silent, only she can't always think of something to say. On those occasions when her mind is blank and she can't come up with anything interesting to say she fills the space with "I love you" and I feel your pain because this happens on a very constant basis.

I hear ya....we are currently dealing with the incessant asking of questions re: topics du jour.

Yesterday boa constrictors were the hot item, and I was asked over and over, where they live. That's it....do they live here? do they live there? ad nauseum.

ASK YOUR DAD ABOUT SNAKES! did not seem to quell their uncontrollable curiousity.

and it got on my nerves. a little.

Ohhh, drink it up! Before you know it, she will be ages 11-19 and she'll only love you when she needs something. :-)

Wait until you get here. You'll see that it's exactly the same. Your niece will fill any available quiet space with 'i love you'. Sweet, but shit. I like a little peace. And your nephew loves me, but loves me EVEN MORE when he gets what he wants for snack or some other treat...

So transparant. I hope they learn some nuance as they mature.

"Pencilmania... that is so cute! I may call it that for a while.

Next time she starts her routine...you answer, and answer, and then- Oh no! Three times means someone needs tickling!! Trust me she will stop after you have brought her to the brink of peeing a few times

when my 3 and a half year old feels loving coming on, he gets violent with me...so there are days i go to work and look like I have been upto some sort of sado maschosims last nite ( as u mite hve guessed, I dont do anything to dispel those envious looks from my co-workers)..all in all, I wud prefer if he just says I love you, shake my hand, perhaps pour me a drink later and be the remote control for the TV ...

when my 3 and a half year old feels loving coming on, he gets violent with me...so there are days i go to work and look like I have been upto some sort of sado maschosims last nite ( as u mite hve guessed, I dont do anything to dispel those envious looks from my co-workers)..all in all, I wud prefer if he just says I love you, shake my hand, perhaps pour me a drink later and be the remote control for the TV ...

Awwwwww...She loves her daddy!!! You just wait, someday she won't say it, or even worse she'll be among friends and be embarrassed that you made her say it!!! :-)

I think the idea is to bank the excessive love until the time comes when it turns to anger over just about anything, and total embarassment if you're within 10 feet of her in a public place. Age 13 or so?

Bossy looooooooooooooves early childhood.

Count yourself lucky that you get to complain about that. Sadly many of us are not so fortunate to be with their daughters all the time and have to exist in a perpetual state of "ghostness." Some of us only get to see our little ladies but once or twice a month.

My favorite thing is when my 3 year old says "Mommy" as if she's asking a question and when I say what she says "I love you" short and sweet. Other times she says "Mommy, I love you more than chocolate." Which is a big deal because she is a little chocoholic. I feel really sorry for my best friend whose son is a little older than my daughter. Her son has speech problems and can't say I love you or anything else for that matter. I guess that makes me feel very fortunate even when my patience is wearing thin.

Greetings from the Holiday Inn Express in Casper, Wyoming! We're enjoying the vacation here, although people are looking at us a little funny - two cowboys driving a Honda Odyessey. But it does get good gas mileage.

We're off to Cheyenne for the rodeo next week. Should be using that American Express card by next week (Don't leave home without it!)

Full ride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At least she's young & innocent enough to really mean it.

"I llloooove you mommy/daddy" sets off our radar faster than it being *too quiet*.

I know how you feel. It will pass. Enjoy it all while you can because it passes fast and you may one day wish you were back at that point in time.

my 3.5 year old is still in her verbal "I love daddy" place and I freakin' love it. I never get tired of it, never. It is pure and honest and with no strings (she doesn't yet want the car keys, cash, etc). I wish I could bottle that lovin' for those dark days that I am sure will come at some point.