I Love You More Than Soup
I’m not a big believer in doomsday scenarios but I’m no idiot either. The end is, in fact, near. Please adjust your schedules accordingly.
Indeed, Armageddon swept into Orange County with a vengeance this weekend (emphasis on “end”). Turns out God’s pretty pissed about something, as evidenced by the following developments:
• The temperature Sunday afternoon was 107 degrees.
• The epicenter of the magnitude 4.7 earthquake that shook Southern California Sunday morning was 1.6 miles below the crack of my ass.
• Friday afternoon, the repairman who came to fix the two rows of “dead pixels” on our three-month-old television succeeded in both correcting the problem and knocking out our cable connection – HOURS BEFORE THE START OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON! First available appointment with the cable company: Wednesday.
• To escape the heat, we took the kids to a movie at the mall Sunday – smack dab in the middle of The Festival of People Who Weigh Over 6,000 Pounds, Have a Wicked Jones For Cinnabon and Mouth-Breathe With Such Ferocity That You Won’t Be Able To Hear The Dialogue In The Movie.
By 8 p.m., the kids were flatly exhausted and, believe it or not, actually ASKING to go to bed. See? Armageddon.
While I was putting my daughter to bed, we started to play our nightly game of “I Love You More Than…”
“I love you more than chocolate chip ice cream,” I said.
“I love you more than Barney,” she said.
And back and forth we went, claiming that our love for one another surpassed Diet Coke, puppies, Zac Efron, Webkins, boobs, hockey, bacon, pink flip-flops, college football and Angelina Ballerina.
“OK,” I said. “Let’s both do one more. Then it’ll be time for bed.”
“Hmm,” she said, trying to think of a good one. “I love you more than… more than… SOUP!”
“SOUP?! It’s a gazillion degrees outside! How in the world can you think of soup in this heat?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I just did. That’s all.”
“You’re weird.”
“OK, daddy. Your turn.”
“OK. Well. I love you more than… um… more than this.”
And then I farted.
1-smelly love. that's dad love.
2- i hate malls and avoid the cinnabun mouth breathers at all costs.
3-i felt both earthquakes, too.
Sounds like someone had a rough day lol! Quite a bit of complaining there, but the heat does it. It's been around 103 - 107 where I live for a month and it wears on you like nothing else. If someone so much as bumps you in line in the supermarket you're ready to snap someones head off.
During our many games of "I love you more than..." my 3 year old has told me she loves me more than chocolate (big for her) cookies, popsicles, candy and boogers, among other things.
Okay I have to say: EWWWWWW
Geez.
LOL
We play a similar I Love You game, but err, no farting, usually. ;)
Re doomsday...I believe you.
It has often been in the upper 80s as highs here this summer, clearly a sign that Hell has frozen over.
Also, I think Big Power has it out for us, here in Texas (and somewhat understandably so). He keeps trying to smite us with nasty hurricanes and tropical storms. Alas, they keep falling south and wiping out poor innocent bystanders.
I tell you what, let's all run get those bumperstickers about carless drivers and the rapture. ;)
Julie
Using My Words
Wow, you love your daughter more than Zac Efron?!?! I never thought I would hear you say that. What's even more amazing is her love for you surpasses boobies...you guys are lucky to love one another so much!
Here's hoping Zac never finds out
If my son told me he loved me more than boogers - that would be huge. They make up most of his diet.
Alas, not yet.
Ew.
I know, for sure, that my daughter loves Zac Efron more than me. At least you can get your TV fixed in time for next week's games. We've got some conspiracy crap going on here with the Big 10 network and I have to lug my kids to bars to actually watch a game. It wouldn't be so bad if my five year old wasn't such a lush.
Is it a sign of doom or just the pending fall of California into the ocean?
When did you become my husband?
That's some serious love for your little girl! Funny.
Hee! I loved sending my kids to sleep in a fit of the giggles.
Well, yes, I absolutely thought it was THE BIG ONE....not just because it felt like someone plowed a car into the side of my house, but because my earthquake insurance LAPSED last week, and so while the house shook (for just a couple of seconds) all I could think of was, "this must be the big one, and we dont have insurance, we are gonna lose everything!" Thank God for His mercy, as we all survived, and if we can make it until 8am tomorrow (when I call and pay for the insurance) things will be ok.
Also, in case you missed it, Trojans kicked some rear, Fight On!
Wow! She really loves my soup.
It was 103 here last week and our air conditioner broke. Today it's around 78. Yippeee!!
Oh, Mad Dad, you're such a Gas.
I love you more than homemade ice cream.
You HAVE to get your cable back! Penn State-Notre Dame...it's going to be epic! I understand College Game Day will be broadcasting from here in Happy Valley. Of course I won't be there making a fool of myself...I'll be on a plane bound for Phoenix for the week. I love PSU_Oscar more than reruns of Dirty Dancing and Steel Magnolias, and I'm pretty sure he loves me more than Snausages in a Blanket and chasing our resident groundhog. But alas...he can't talk to tell me that.
Ah, a father's love...
:-)
I love your blog more than oreo's dunked in cold milk!
That's a lot of love. Especially in our house, where Henry's Poppa sure loves to let 'em rip!
Check out the book, "I Love You More" by Laura Duksta. It's awesome. You and your daughter would love it. I'm 48 and gave it to my mom for mother's day!
I would have to agree with the last comment posted here! Did you get your daughter a copy of I Love You More...you'll love it...and I'm not just saying that because I wrote it ;-)
Your blog is hysterical...I'm going to pass it on to some dads who I know will enjoy it!
Keep Shining!
Laura