There may have been a thin shred of doubt in my mind that the world is plummeting headlong into the crapper, but that last little smidgen was obliterated the other night by the Discovery Health channel.

Hot Wife and I have taken a shine to the myriad “reality” shows based on surgical procedures. Dr. 90210 is a particular favorite because the relationship between that narcissistic Brazilian doctor with the heinous fashion sense and his ditzy, blond wife, “the codependent enabler”, makes us feel like maybe we’re not so abnormal after all. But we are equal opportunity gawkers. Any show that portrays folks going under the knife is OK with us.

But recently I have become aware of the most ridiculous double standard in the recorded history of shitty television.

These medical reality shows pull no punches when it comes to the surgical procedures. They’ll show pictures of someone’s intestines being filleted, a breast sliced open like a baked potato and a huge slab of skin and flesh that has been removed from someone’s body during a tummy tuck procedure. No gore too gory.

But nipples must be blurred out. Must not show nipples.

To review: Blood, gore and perforated colons = kosher. Nipples = bad.

I think I speak for many when I say WHAT THE FUCK!?

What dillweed made this decision? One can only assume the determination that nipples create a sexually explicit scenario was made by some suit at the FCC who hasn’t been laid since the Carter administration. Sir, if you’re reading this, here’s a word to the wise: when you are watching a woman have her boob slashed in two and held agape by the Jaws of Life, there is no room for titillation. They could superimpose a porno onto the lower portion of the screen and it STILL wouldn’t turn guys on. We all have nipples. Be a man. Lose the blur.

***A MUSICAL GIFT FROM WONDERSIS***

I’ve mentioned here before that my big sister is passionate about children’s music. One of her friends and favorite musicians, Enzo Garcia, has a new CD called Field Trip With Enzo. I’ve heard it. It’s fun.

In a show of support for both Enzo and this site, Wondersis has arranged a 10% discount on Enzo’s new CD for Dad Gone Mad readers.

Pokey Pup is the exclusive online retailer of Enzo's new CD for the first month of its release. If you aren't familiar with the Pokey Pup, it is an extraordinarily cool independent retailer of music, books and DVDs for kids. They are hosting a contest to win every one of Enzo’s CDs (nine in all) and an autographed copy of Field Trip with Enzo, all in a Pokey Pup tote bag. No purchase is necessary to enter the contest, but everyone who buys Enzo’s new CD is automatically entered. CLICK HERE to learn more.

The contest and discount run from today through October 22. There’s no obligation, other than entering the sale code “fieldtrip” on the website for the DGM discount.

Thanks to Wondersis for the savings. And thanks to DGM readers for your continued support.

Comments

This is just another reason that the FCC needs to be put in a sack that gets tied off and thrown into a river.

I love the new layout.

Don't you just hate that - especially when the person doing the blur (wouldn't you love that job?) gets a little heavy handed and obscures the procedure?

The other thing that bugs me, when movies are cut for time, or content, how much plot gets lost...and dialog gets mangled. I'd much rather hear a different voice with an alternate to a curse word than just have ::dead air:: with a moving mouth. Plus, those alternate words can be pretty funny.

Oh yes, AMEN, lose the blur. Geez, maybe Bill Maher is behind the blurring. Fits the bill, pun intended (slam, too). ;)

Julie
Using My Words

Extra points for using "boob" and "titillation" in the same sentence!

Thank you for this post. My particular favorite was an episode featuring a woman undergoing a sex change. She/he had breast tissue removed in order to have a more masculine appearance. In the before pictures, they blurred the nipple. In the after pictures, the nipple was all clear! The same nipple! But it all changes when it's a man nipple, apparently.

have you watched THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED yet?

it really opens your eyes to the movie/television/what our society finds acceptable and non acceptable industry.

as a parent, it's a great film to watch so you know why the movies rated for your kids "safety" are given their ratings.

I love Jackie's comment. So freakin' lame. We're such a hung up society. That being said, "nipple" has become my kids' very favorite word. Every time they see one, they go into hysterics. Even on a statue! Oy.

I can't believe you watch those shows. ew.

(thanks for the sale mention).

xo-your sis (no nipples showing)

WAIT! the new layout didn't load the first time and now did. Like it, but you're kooky.

So I don't know if you caught Dr. 90210 last night but they worked on a guy with a hidden penis. However, as expected, it was blurred within an inch of itself. Okay whatever, some people might be offended by penises-I am not, in fact I was rather curious as to what a hidden penis looked like. Okay I understand that hell would sooner freeze over before they showed a peen on the television. However, when explaining the procedure do not CLOSE UP on the blur. we have all seen a blur, we know the hidden penis is behind it but the explanation makes no sense if we cant see what it looks like right??!! grrrrr

While watching Survivor last season, I noticed that they were blurring out "Plumber Butts". This only happened when it was exhibited by a female contestant though. Apparently the male "Plumber Butt" is perfectly acceptable for television while the female version is considered sexually explicit. I guess it falls into the same category as the nipple?!

Maybe it they show the nipple from the "inside" view then it's OK.

I haven't heard of the cd, but I totally 100% agree with you about the nipple bluring! It's so stupid.

It's like them bleeping out nympho in a song on the radio.

What is so offensive about that?

Guess what I am doing right now? Googling images of NIPPLES with no age restrictions(shout out to the FCC)...hahahha...it's great.
What's next? Enzo.

Seriously. Wtf. It's like the only thin "blurrable" on a man is his genitalia, but when it comes to a woman, if there's any chance of something lower than their shoulders, it gets blurred.

The best "Dr 90210" ever is when the dog dies and the wife just loses her shit and eventually it becomes obvious that she's so devastated because the dog was closer to her then her husband. Classic. I can't wait until the show where she snaps and stabs him in the chest.

But they'll probably blur his nipple when she does.

My god Dr. Brazilian's wife needs to eat something. Now.