I can remember walking through the produce section of the local supermarket. My baby boy was asleep in his little basket, which I’d clipped onto the shopping cart. When I stopped to pick out some tomatoes, an elderly woman approached and looked sweetly at the baby. She smelled like powder.

We chatted for a moment. What's his name? How old is he? Who knitted those cute little booties for him? Her face reflected a sense of melancholy, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of him, couldn't resist the urge to rub the back of her wrinkled hand up and down his tiny arm.

When the time came to move on, she put her hand on top of mine and said, “Enjoy him. They grow up so fast.” Then she turned and walked away. She seemed desperate, almost heartbroken.

I couldn’t relate. I’d heard that line – “They grow up so fast” – dozens of times since my son was born, and each time it struck me hollow. What are they talking about? He was just born! He was hardly growing at all, and he certainly wasn’t doing anything with even a faint wisp of speed. I let the words disintegrate into the air and attributed their incessant repetition to the aging hearts and minds of those who spoke them. They missed their own children.

When I got home from my basketball game last night, it was 9:30 and the kids were already asleep. I hate that. I hate not being there to lay with them while they fight the battle against their heavy eyelids – the fight they can never win. I was sweaty and stinky and couldn’t wait to shower, but I wanted to go in and kiss each of them before I did anything else.

I walked into my son’s room first. He was on his back, his mouth agape, a faint snore emanating from his nose. He rustled a bit when I kissed his forehead, but not enough to wake himself up. He readjusted his body in the bed, turning onto his right side and pulling the sheet up over his shoulders. When he finally settled, I stood there and looked at him.

He turned seven last week. Seven! It’s hard for me to wrap my head around that. I know it sounds cliché and scripted to say it, but where on earth did the time go? He’d only just taken his first steps. He’d only just started pretending his was Buzz Lightyear. But looking at him last night, I saw a boy. Not an infant. Not a toddler. A boy.

I can remember times when he was a baby when I'd wished he were just a little older. We’d be able to talk and play catch and go places together. I’d be his hero. He’d be my little buddy. Just like in the movies.

Strangely enough, he IS that person now. But all I can think about today is how much I wish he were still a baby.

I wasn’t done with that part yet.

Comments

I don't know that we ever are...

Thanks for that. I was just thinking the same thoughts about our one-year old the other day, that I couldn't wait for him to get a little older so there'd be more for us to do together. I'm not going to think like that. I'm going to enjoy him each day and enjoy him as he is. Thanks.

I don't know if it's back to school time or what, but everyone I know and/or read seems to have a bit of melancholy these days about kids growing older. I know I definitely do.

I love this quote by James Lileks from one of his recent Bleats: "You reach for your Fixative Spray to ensure that they’ll always be this age, but of course if you had such a thing you would have used it long ago. And aren’t you glad you didn’t." Sorta turns it around a bit, makes me feel a little less sad.

Whenever I start to feel sad about them growing out of babyhood, my brother always sings "Sunrise, Sunset" to me in a falsetto. To which I respond by promptly punching him in the junk.

I'm with you though. My guy will be 7 in December, and I can't believe how huge he is. Such the Dude.

Well done DGM, well done.

Oh...oh...yes, sometimes, I see a baby and I feel nostalgic...little sweet body, curve or ear, tiny probing eyes...

But then I recall the rest, and moment is over.

I'm not nostalgic for a baby, I'm nostalgic for the baby stage of MY kids. Then I look at them and see the little kid still somewhere inside the big kid, especially when they sleep.

Sweet post. (Can you say that to a guy? Sweet?)

Julie
Using My Words

AWE!!!! That was so lovely stated. My son is four and I look at him, much the same as you do your son, and ofter wonder where has four years gone. Today, we had a big step he buttoned up his own shirt all by himself, and did it right too. They do grow up to quickly.

Come on, Evan. Let's get that full RSS feed back. Please?

Amen! My oldest is seven as well and now that he's in second grade I find myself wondering why I wished his babyhood away. When is he going to sleep through the night? When is he going to hold his own bottle? When is he going to be able to dress himself so that I can get a little peace?

Now that he does all that I find myself wishing he would have stayed a baby, a toddler, a Kingergartner just a tad longer.

Damn, making me cry at work. My little boy is 4.5 months old and I want to put him in my pocket and keep him my little baby forever. I try to savor every moment, every milestone because all of that will be over before I know what hit me.

Thanks for this post.

This makes me want to cry. My son is just 6 months old and when he is sleeping when I get home from a 12 hour work day it makes me so sad. Ack...

I am new to this site and I've fallen in love with you and your family. Your writing is so imaginative and descriptive--it's truly a pleasure to read! I can be laughing my ass off one minute and wiping a tear the next. You are so lucky to have such a beautiful family, but you already know that!

I look forward to your posts every day--so keep them coming! I may even buy a shirt for my Dad. ;)

Oh, how I relate to this. My daughter just turned eight, and it breaks my heart every time she does something that reminds me how much she's growing up.

Sniff, sniff.

It does go by quickly. Our one & only started kindergarten a month ago, and I can't believe it. Though she is so much more fun now -except for the huge attitude I get from her a lot - it is hard to imagine that 6 years ago I was just settling in to the idea of having a baby. Now she's in to everything, and she's my little helper.

I never gave her permission to grow up this quickly. But it happens. Whenever I miss the baby stage I just visit with some friends who just had one. Like the one who just got to bed at 7am the other day b/c she was up all night. Suddenly I feel so much better about my child's current age.

Yeah, it's true. I live with a 4yr old girl, a 2yr old boy, and their 3mo old sister. They grow up FAST. Seems like only yesterday the 4yr old was learning to walk.

as weird as it sounds I often have that feeling for my 17 year old brothers. (we are six years apart and I look at them as my little boys). Sometimes I get prematurely senile and picture them as little babies again. I am soon snapped out of that when they start cussing at each other... oh well sweet memory while it lasts!

I know that feeling well. My oldest just turned 7 and i can't believe it. She literally was just in diapers taking her first steps and now she already has the attitude of a teenager at times...

Totally agree with that one. My oldest is 12 and I SO wish she was still a baby (then she wouldn't be able to talk back so much). My youngest just turned 3 last week, and he's all boy, not a baby at all anymore. I'm happy for him, but I miss my babies...

I hear you. I look at my kids and can't wait for them to do bigger and better stuff... then I look at them again and wish we could stay like this forever.

I think I might have to get pregnant tonight... I have baby fever big time and this post didn't help! Mine are 9, 7, 3 next week, and 17 months. Goes fast.

This made my ovaries hurt. I see my Harmony already crawling and I just want to freeze this time when she can't quite get away from me and she enjoys just gazing at my face while I stroke her sweet baby head.

I will forever miss my babies being babies.

My younger one just turned seven this month. The older one is almost nine. We now officially have no more toddlers or little kids. We have big kids. And there's definitely a difference. I feel like I'm still getting over the initial sleep deprivation, but apparently it's been a bit longer than that.

My younger one just turned seven this month. The older one is almost nine. We now officially have no more toddlers or little kids. We have big kids. And there's definitely a difference. I feel like I'm still getting over the initial sleep deprivation, but apparently it's been a bit longer than that.

That made me cry.

My twin sons just turned one in June... and I STILL feel like we all just came home from the hospital...

Oh heavens. So beautiful!

I was just looking at my 10 year old son the other day and thinking the same thing. He asked me if I wished he was still a baby and I had to think about it for a second and I said to him, "No, I like you just the way you are." and he promptly crawled in my lap and hugged my neck (legs and arms everywhere).

Ain't kids great!

that was lovely.

I don't ever get sentimental like that. I love watching them grow up and get bigger and more worldly and everything. I don't know. I don't miss those baby days. I don't really miss anything yet. I just dig it all right now.

except for when they're really obnoxious. not that that ever happens.

The days creep by at a snail's pace. The years however, they speed by while you aren't watching.

This morning my 3yo was in time out for hitting by 7:45. I looked at the clock and swore it wasn't ticking at all! But just a bit ago I tucked them in for the night and sang some songs I hadn't sung in years. They'll always be my babies and they'll just have to put up with a sentimental Mama.

Grrr.. change your RSS feed back the way it was (to show full article). I don't want to look at your stupid ads.

Just when I was finally, FINALLY starting to make peace with my oldest going to kindergarten this year, I get slammed with this. I've been desperately trying to get my hubby to agree to a third child for over a year now. Maybe if I show him this post, he'll finally understand why it's so important to me.

Sorry this isn't related to this particular post, but did I miss a memo? When did you go to truncated posts in your RSS feed. It makes puppies cry.

Thank you for this. My son is just turning 3 months old and I find myself dismissing the "enjoy them now", "they grow up so fast" comments as well. After you hear them so many times, the comments are so easy to ignore.

...However, I think I'll go hug him again. :) Just because I can.

Blink twice and he will be tailgating pretty girls in your car.
Blink again and he will sitting on your couch with his arm around one of those pretty girls acting almost like a grownup.

What can I say? My daughter is 13 and I'm no longer the #1 men in her world. My son is 10 and at least I'm still the best.

Beautiful. I couldn't agree more.

If you really want to torture yourself, Google Erma Bombeck's very poignant writing called, "No More Oatmeal Kisses."

I melt into a puddle of tears every time I read it.

I will never be ready for my kids to grow up.

You know why I love your blog? Because sometimes it makes me laugh, but then I read a post like this or the one about your son washing your daughter's hair in the shower and it brings me to tears. You are great at showing the raw, longing heartbreak that can go along with being a parent!

How is it that you always post about something that is relevant to me at the very moment I read your posts? My boy is a real boy now. Not in a Pinocchio way, but in that he is not a toddler. I see him putting complex thoughts together and making decisions based on actual information and experience. I went back on my own blog the other day (click on my name!) and read back to 2004 when I started and he was only 18 months old. I had forgotten some of those little stories, and now I'm SO glad I took the time to record them. While I was laughing at remembering the experiences, I was crying too because it all passed too fast. Makes me think about slowing down and enjoying them a little more instead of always yelling at them to "Hurry Up."

When I was pregnant for the first time, I remember my mother-in-law telling me that when she looks at my husband, even though he is a grown man, she still sees the baby she brought home from hospital. I smiled and thought "Weird!" Now my babies are big 9 and 7 year old lumps of boy, I know exactly what she meant.

I know! Just last week I went in to Dylan's room (he's nearly 9) and couldn't believe how tall he is! His legs go on forever! It does go way too fast.

You brought a tear to my eye! My baby also turned 7 last week. I think it has all gone so fast and all I can think of is that the next 7 years will go just as fast and he will be a teenager and most likely want nothing to do with me. He doesn't want to cuddle as much and he doesn't need me as much as he use to. Although, he tells me he will always be my baby!!

I had a home-based day care for over a decade and they were some of the happiest years of my life. I always, always told new parents to enjoy their babies....you only get one chance to enjoy them as babies, and it is over before you bllink your eyes. I'm 52 now, and still long for the baby days!
Thanks, Danny...you rock!

Just yesterday I was looking at my son and thinking to myself - he is so grown up, where's my little baby, he looks so much like his dad... - my trance was broken when my son said..."Mom, why are you staring at me like that?"

They're right, they grow up so fast.

My son turned 7 last week also. I echo all of the statements made in this post. You have hit the nail right on the head. I also have a 3 1/2 yo son. I wish I could stop time right now and enjoy them as they are for the next 10 years. Many of my experiences mirror many of your posts. Time marches on.....

This post has caused me to have to de-lurk! You have a wonderful gift in writing and I enjoy one post more then the next. This post hit me like a loaded semi doing 90. Just this morning I registered by 17 Yr. old for her ACT testing and upon doing so got that awful lump in my throat. "Enjoy them while they are young" turns into "How did he/she grow up so fast"! I can honestly say at this point I am looking forward to spending my 40th b-day moving her into a dorm and partying like a college Freshman. She might not think that sounds so great but what does she know...she is only 17. Oh I forgot they know everything! "Enjoy them while they are both young". You have been warned.

That is so sweet!

As another parent of a 7 year old, I get it. I could wait for him to grow up and now I wish he were a baby at times. Then at other times, I can't wait for him to be an adult so I can catch a break. I'm so glad i have wise, older adults in my life to remind me to slow down and enjoy him as he is.

18 and in the Army. Where did the time go. But I'll tell you what those "I love you's and miss you" means more to me now than they ever did. It flies by so fast and my 2 girls aren't far behind. Still caress the 12 year old's face when she sleeps and still get a sleepy smile from her. I love the evenings with them like that.

My son turns 10 next week and it seems like he was just born yesterday!!! Where did time go? The elderly lady was so right about enjoying them now because they grow so fast. Mine will start Junior High next year and I dont think I can accept that yet. My heart aches....
Love you DGM

Wow. Seven. He's as good as 46.

Boy, do I know the feeling. My son turned 4 in July, and on his birthday I stood there staring into his face, half-yelling "WHERE DID THE LAST FOUR YEARS GO??? HOW DID YOU GET HERE???"

it's hard to believe the time is so fluid.

i love reading a man who can honestly express his love for his family.

My son is seven, and quickly approaching eight. He breaks my heart every day, in a good way. In a way that reminds me I am alive, and fortunate, and loved. The challenge to this thing called parenthood is learning to embrace the NOW, learning from the past, and preparing for the future. I think that we will figure it out on their wedding days.

My girls are 21 and 24 and we're still making memories. He's a third of the way to adulthood but it doesn't end there so be of good cheer brother, there's lots of good times ahead, just don't waiste 'em.

Dang, you sneak those tear-jerkers in neat, don't you? That was beautifully written. Now, where is my kleenex?

Hmmm... with these new, "sophisticated" font changes, are you planning for a new banner too? (Not to say that your family itself isn't sophisticated, just that the cartoon versions of yourselves on bigwheels aren't...)

How lovely. And especially to hear from a father's perspective.

LOL I think that all the time when I look at my son. Where does the time go? What happen to my baby? Where is the boy who would not snare when he talked and roll his eyes every time I opened my mouth. Well my little angel is 15 almost 16 and I love him to death. Even though he is now a moody, snotty, roll of the eyes, tongue sucking, never taste only inhale teenager. Who's favorite things to say to me are, "I know I know you don't gotta tell me"(complete with eye roll and tongue suck), and generally followed with, "What!!! You didn't tell me!!!".

The do most definitly grow up too fast. (Sigh)

Mother of three sons speaking. And the oldest? We just shipped him off to college. Talk about growing up at warp speed. I, too, thought every one was insane when they insisted upon telling me about how quickly time would fly. And I just laughed. It's not so funny when that "baby" everyone was talking about is now 6'2". Sure, I have two more left at home, but they're growing even faster than their brother. How can I be so happy about that...and be crying at the same time?

Hi Dad Gone Mad!

I love the variety of your posts, and I've even learned a thing or two! So, you are now on my blogroll. :) Stop over and say "hi" sometime, and thanks for the good reading!

Can't say a thing that everybody else hasn't said, but I totally identify! (Love this post!)

Jill said -"The days creep by at a snail's pace. The years however, they speed by while you aren't watching."
Wow, that is so true. I remember long, long days with 2 in diapers and no sleep at night, but all of a sudden...they're grown. Thank you for sharing this. Your gift for writing is wonderful. And, for a minute there I thought I could claim the oldest reader award at 51, but then there's Debbie.
I'm now going to be a grandma next spring and I plan to enjoy every single moment.

Love the new Professional looking site... Looks good...clean, and grown up...

Julie

LOVIN' the new look of the site, my friend.
and YES, they do grow up too fast. now instead of being awakened at crazy hours by crying babies, we are trying to rouse THIER lazy butts out of bed on school days. i am having scary foreshadowing for the teen years to come!

#1 son is a freshman in college, and # 1 daughter is a senior in highschool. We spent the day visiting a college, and she fell asleep i the car. For that precious hour I could pretend she was still my little baby. Sigh.

Thanks for this. I needed to read something just like this, as my son is five weeks old tomorrow and my husband and I have often wished aloud over these tough weeks that he would get bigger/older/more independent just a little bit faster... I think I'll go give his little baby head a quick kiss and stare at him for a bit. :)

I love the new look!!!!!

Wait, Bossy can't concentrate on the post. She's too in love with your new look. Wink.

You know ... my son is 3 and I'm finally enjoying it. I went through some hard times (ppd) when he was a baby and I just wished it away. I'm pregnant again and I'm so hoping to love the baby stage (or at least some of it) this time around.
Thanks for a lovely post.

Wow! What a dynamite change to the site.

I can totally relate to this post. When my oldest daughter was born until she was about 6 months old I use to sit in the recliner and hold her while she had her afternoon nap. I would just watch her and smile and try to convince myself it wasn't some fluke that I was given this precious gift. She's 25 now. I still can't believe my good fortune.
On the brighter side- they say 7 is the golden year. That's when they are really willing to help you do things and old enough to be trusted to actually do some of them without getting hurt. I found that to be true, so savor this year. There should also start to be a let up in the crying at the drop of a hat. Your son will get less tearful too. Hee!

Nice ReDesign! Kudos on the look. Does that mean no more rotating banners, then? :(

Man - I know this to be true. It breaks my heart. Everyone is always telling me that my kids will keep me young but I feel older now than ever - the daily reminder of how fast life flees is not good in my book. After all - I'm a 43 year old woman with a 4 year old and 1 1/2 year old - I'm exhausted!

By the way - I love the new look and I dig the use of the word priapism - such an underused word. Cockamamie is another word that just doesn't get enough play. Work that into your next post!

I go through this too. It was just YESTERDAY that my own little boy was just learning to toddle along, and now... NOW, he's turning 11 in 2 weeks. HOW THE HELL did that happen? I hate it, and love it - I love seeing the person he's become (most days), but miss those sweet days too. Lucky for me, I've got ANOTHER lil boy, just 7 months old, to remind me of those days :) Maybe that's what you need to do :D

My oldest daughter is 15, will turn 16 next month, and my youngest daughter is 13. The oldest is now doing the driving part of drivers ed and soon will get her permit. I went in to check on them just now and thought about all the times we had when they were little. Now that they grow so near of completing high school I tear up at the mere idea of them going to college and moving away. I love my girls more then anything in this world and I want the very best for them. I want them to do better then I have and get a great education. But at the same time..the mere idea of them growing up, now sooner then later, scares the hell of me. It is almost like they will be grown and I will no longer be able to check on them at night, hold them when they are sad, care for them when they are sick, etc. It is a bitch as on one hand I want the very best for them as adults and one the other hand I do not want to ever let them go. I want to always be the one they turn to, the one they lean on. As they grow older I just hope I've done a good job as a father and that as a parent I did a good job raising them. My little girls..will forever be my little girls!

You are with question a great dad!

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That should have read, You are with out question a great dad!

I am sorry for the mistake :(