Enter The Goose
[Ed. Note: I will stipulate at the outset that we Jews are a strange lot. Please make a note of it.]
When my daughter was an infant, she was flat-out adorable (obviously!). Everyone wanted to hold her because her infectious smile was the facial expression most closely resembling a syringe full of black tar heroin and a fat, thirsty vein.
One day when my mother-in-law was cuddling with my daughter, she said, “Oh, you’re such a little katschke!” (That’s pronounced like Scotch Key, without the S).
“A what?” I asked.
“A katschke!” she repeated.
“Do me a favor,” I said. “Cover the baby’s ears for a second.”
She did.
“What the fuck is a katschke?”
“It’s a goose, you nit,” she said. “It’s Yiddish for ‘goose.’”
“Why would you call her that? She’s not a bird. She doesn't shit on my car. She's a little girl.”
“No she’s not,” she said to me, although she was looking at my daughter and making a funny face at her. “She’s my katschke!”
As word spread through the family about her new grandma-bestowed nickname, the subject became a source of heated debate. My father, who’s as hardcore Jewish as a circumcised matzo ball at Woody Allen’s Bar Mitzvah, felt confident that a katschke is a duck, not a goose.
Research ensued.
And my dad’s suspicion turned out to be correct: katschke means “duck”.
In the end, although I wasn’t thrilled with my daughter being associated so closely with ANY type of water fowl, there was no way in God’s back pocket that I would let my child be called a duck. From where I sit, a goose kicks a duck’s ass all the way to Jerusalem and back any day but the Sabbath, because that's the day when all the ducks and geese and cranes stay home to watch college football.
So we turned up our noses at Yiddish (it’s a stupid language anyway) and declared that for our purposes, katschke means “goose”.
No matter what they call her, she's still my little girl.
My daughter pooped IN my car a lot. Does that count?
We call my daughter "Goose" as well, and I don't even have a fancy, schmancy foreign language to trace it back to. It just fit.
My mother is German, so we suffered countless German nicknames. Now my kids think it is quite endearing to be granted these same nicknames- and I have to admit I do too.
I call my daughter Goose too, but not because anyone got a high out of holding her when she was an infant. She actually resembled a goose.
Oh, and Go Jackets!
My mother-in-law calls my daughter ketzl, which she tells me is yiddush for cat. While we Jews certainly are strange, I don't understand the need to associate our children with any type of animal. Perhaps is has to do with keeping yiddush alive?
oh, I always thought it meant "little things" like keep sakes,trinkets, items that would fit in a shadow box... Interesting :)
I believe you're thinking of tschotske, Texas Wendy.
Speaking of ducks, you heard about this, right?
Um if you want to get your weird on, visit an italian family!We will stuff your face until you have diabetes, hold you in our bosom without your consent and slap you in your face as a sign of endearment.
The Anaheim Katschkes? I dunno. The Yiddish Hockey League (YHL) would have some pretty weird names.
love the picture!
thank you for sharing with us!
I wish I had a Jewish grandma to give me a cool nickname. Boring protestants.
Yep I'm with Sarah. Italians are worse...way worse. But, if you do feel like visiting an Italian family remember one important thing: Don't EVER EVER EVER say you're not hungry. I think my whole family would die if they heard a guest say that. Anyway, I love the picture. She such a cute little goose. duck. goose? or duck? well whichever she's a very cute one.
Yup, another to chime in on the Eye-talians. We apparently use FOOD rather than animals.
My little Meat-a-ball.
She's as sweet as a gumdrop
Who-ho, check out this chubby little rump roast.
So Kvetch (or is it Kvell) all you want... duck or goose, she is adorable, and as long as everybody realizes it, does it really matter what phrase they use to convey it?
My sister is quite a bit older than me and was in her high school french years when I came along. I am 39 years old now and still she calls me "petite canard"...nothing wrong with a little duckiness. Nothing at all. Not that I would let anyone else call me that. Don't even think about it!!!!
I was nicknamed Goose-key-meister by my (very weird) father. My sister got Boo and my brother was Bud, and I got Goose-key-meister. WTF?!? And we're not Jewish OR Italian. WE'RE CANADIAN! We're not supposed to be weird!
My 5 year old has gone through several nicknames. I started with Spooty Poo, no reason why, but it fit. Everyone used it, so then it became Mooshka Baby. And on...every time I get one I fit to her, just for me, everyone co-opts it.
In Polish, it means duck. Better than what my Polish mother-in-law pronounched my daughter...potato nose(in Polish). My now 16 y/o daughter, with, I might add, the most perfect Irish (my side, thank you) turned up nose, is just thrilled at that nick name, I can assure you. My son was nick-named wobus by same Polish MIL, which means rascal, but not in a nice way. Those eastern europeans really have a way with words.sigh.
and you're still my little shithead brother.
ps - that's not yiddish.
pps - not really. really i think you're quite cute and goose-like yourself.
What an adorable pic of your daughter. When she grows up, she might be more "gandz" (stork) than goose, given your height. But whatever nickname she has, it'll work. My youngest (15) Katie we've called her Bug or Katie Bug all her life. Kind of embarrassing when she's on the basketball court and I yell "good shot Bug!" I usually get the death stare at that point!
My Grandmother called me "Cocotte", which is french for pinecone.
My dad used to call me "Pet." Not sure about that one...
We usually call my daughter Missy and my son Buddy. Lately my little girl has been going by Pinky for obvious reasons.
Sometimes my Gram used to say I had a "shayna punim" and my mother is quite fond of "bubelah." She is desperate for grandchildren at this point and is transferring it to my cat and calls him "tattelah" a lot. My dad has always called me Kirby, and while it's not Yiddish, it does tend to mean vacuum cleaner and that is a lot worse than Goose.
Ok, I have to de-lurk to say that that is the most precious picture ever! Your little goose/duck is adorable.
I have kotchkeys on my mantle.
I was called "Ducky" a lot as a child by my grandmother... I guess it's just part of senility ;-)
My ex wife has an "Uncle Dub" Doe a good year I thought he was "Uncle Duck"...but now, we all know Dub is shourt for "W"...thanks to Presidnent Bush. I thought he ws uncle duck because he would set in "his" arm chair and make duck like noises...not out of his mouth.
Us "Micks" are quite a strange lot ourselves giving whiskey to babies as soon as they can lick it off our fingers, then wondering why they grow up to be drunks and then not just getting in a family fight about it but seriously kicking each other's ass.
Enjoy your lil Goose now -- they do grow up to be teenage girls which is a breed that does shit all over you. :D
Bossy calls her Great Dane "goose", as in Silly.
I actually grew up with the understanding that katschke means doll or dolly. So add another one to your list!
Who says Yiddish is stupid? No way!
My cousin's third child was nicknamed Boo Boo by her uncle. This was not a problem until she went to kindergarten and didn't know her first name. Told the teacher she was Boo Boo. The teacher says "have you got a last name too?" "Yes, my name is Boo Boo Devine." The teacher thinks great they named this kid after a stripper! They finally tracked down her brother in the 4th grade who told the teacher her name was Carol Devine.
Is it my faulty recollection? or are you not a fan of the Mighty Ducks who won the Stanley Cup? Out of curiosity then why would it be such a bad thing if your daughter's nick-name was duck?
My daughters nick-names are too many - I don't think a single person has the same one for her. For some reason my son got nick-named Poncho.... no idea why.
She's CUUUTE!