Any expression of gratitude I could possibly put here would be feeble in light of the overwhelming show of support you have given us. We read every single one of your comments and felt them completely. Thank you.

The experience of losing Jimbo has put a real charge into my awareness of fatherly responsibility. I feel extraordinarily close to the kids right now, compelled to be near them, to comfort them, and to be as accessible to them as ever before. This morning before I left for work, I taught my son how to read the hockey box scores in the newspaper. And when The Goose woke up, I went into her purple-walled room and laid down next to her for a few minutes. We didn't even speak.

Jimbo is still with us physically, but all reports are that the man we have known and loved is gone. We are told that his death will not be pleasant -- that dying of liver cancer is a brutal way to go, not unlike those who suffer from brain cancer and Lou Gehrig's Disease. Knowing that haunts me. I don't want him to suffer. I don't want him to die.

Hot Wife and I have spent a lot of time remembering the times we spent with Jim. He and I are rabid sports fans; together we've been to World Series games, Stanley Cup finals games, college football bowl games. Two of my favorite memories occurred on the golf course:

I'm a shitty, shitty golfer. I once hit a drive so tragically that it ended up in the fairway of a different hole. When I finally tracked it down, I saw a line of tall trees between where it had landed and where I needed to hit it. Thinking I was alone, I engaged what is commonly known as my "foot wedge." (I kicked the ball into a better position.) Jim saw me do it. That was about three years ago and he was still giving me shit about it as recently as two months ago.

Another time, Jim and our other neighbor, Tom, took me to play golf in San Clemente for my birthday. In fact, it was my 31st, which meant it was my first birthday since becoming a father. After our round, we went into the bar near the pro shop to have a beer and Jimbo and Tom started buying me shots based on the attractiveness of the bottles on the bar. After one that tasted like cinnamon and one that tasted like black licorice, Jimbo chose a bottle with a label that looked straight out of Nazi Germany. I think it was supposed to taste minty but I can't recall for sure. Needless to say, I was completely obliterated. When we finally got home, Hot Wife was holding our baby boy and telling me the two of them had prepared me a special birthday dinner. Ten minutes later, I was puking my kidneys out. To say that Hot Wife was displeased would be a severe understatement. When she looked at me that night, huddled over the toilet and hanging on for dear life, I felt her glare piercing the back of my head.

Needless to say, we have been quite somber. This morning was rough. But then, lo and behold, good old CRYSTAL emailed to tell me about THIS AWARD and the way people have been voting.

I don't know what to say. The breadth and consistency of your support has left me speechless. Thank you.

P.S. -- Two very big supporters of Dad Gone Mad -- CRYSTAL and BOSSY -- are up for THIS AWARD. We need to make sure one of them wins.

Comments

I wish there was something people could do to ease the pain...because you know we would. I'm glad you have so many great memories with Jimbo though.

As for the awards, you deserve it! You got my vote. (Even if you are a Ducks fan.)

Your memories are how Jimbo will, indeed, live on...pain free. And now, in our memories, as well. That is the love you gave him.

I'm sorry about your friend. I wish there was some other way to deal with grief other than going through it.

Just from reading your stories about him, I think that Jimbo would love that you are choosing to remember the good times right now.

Bless you all, Danny dear. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry that you are losing someone that is so near and dear to you.
Remembering the good times is exactly what is going to get you through it though.

I voted for you today.

Good luck with that, you deserve it.
I also voted for Crystal, that girl keeps me rolling on the floor laughing.

Be well.

Bekah

Peace upon all of you as you go through this incredibly hard and sad time.

And while you're being peaceful ... go kick some blogging ass!! On my way to vote.

Couple things. I lost my Jim in 2003 and I still mention him on my blog (he's the one that died from complications of ALS)..he was a hockey nut and I know rolled over in his grave when the ducks won..he would have loved blogging if it would have been popular when he was healthy...he taught me about Fish Called Wanda and Princess Bride.

2nd..dude I already voted and since you asked so nicely I'll ask my reader to vote too.

I know your pain, it feels like someone has punched a hole in your chest and ripped your heart out. My best friend, my father, is dying of carcinoid of the intestine, it's a hard hard road.

Hugs x

I've always thought the best blogs were written by people who didn't give a shit about these blog stupid blog awards. You'd never see Mimi Smartypants, Sweet Juniper, Dooce, MetroDad, or Finslippy pandering for votes.

The least I can do is send warm vibes back to everyone who has been or is in this situation. Let's all give a big group hug.
Thank you!

Your powerful gift of storytelling will help keep Jim alive among those who love him -- and those who never knew him. Peace to all who will miss him, and laughter and a sense of gratitude for having walked this world with him for a while.

Way to go on the nomination! Nothing like cold hard votes to give warms fuzzies. The best of luck to you in the polls. I have to admit, I'm a smaller blogger and hadn't heard of the other nominees in this category but Amalah sure looks like the force to beat.

You are a wonderful writer. I'm so glad your readers are validating that.

I'm so sorry, prayers for Jimbo's family and yours.

Jimbo: that guy just exudes greatness.

(Thanks for the mention. Somehow Bossy forgot to post about it over on her blog. Could be she was too busy posting about Flax Seed poo.)

I had to delurk to tell you how sorry I am to hear about Jimbo. Nobody deserves to go that way (I know, my mom died of something similar) but especially not the truly wonderful people who touch our lives and leave their indelible impression.

I'm thinking of Jimbo and his family and friends, and of course you and your family, tonight.

Peace everlasting, Jimbo. Obviously, you were well loved and will be missed.

My dad died of liver cancer 18 months ago, he was diagnosed and passed within a 2 week period. Those 2 weeks were the most harrowing and yet uplifting days of my life. It was an honour to share those days with him and because medicine is so great these days, he was actually very peaceful. He had 2 occassions where his pain appeared to be overwhelming and that was terrible to see, the pain relief when adjusted was exceptional though and really, his passing was as peaceful as we could have hoped for.
I hope Jimbo has the same level of care as my dad and that his passing is peaceful and pain free. My thoughts will certainly be with his family and friends at this time as I remember so well just how it feels to be right there.
How incredible though to know how loved you are, to have so many people mourning the fact that they will no longer have you around. Jimbo sounds as though he is a great man and has many people who adore him, what more can we ask? Helen.

Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. There is no way this can be easy for you to share but it certainly does help to appreciate all the other stuff we read about you through the rest of your days.

I pray you and your family find some peace in the days to come knowing that you were loved by Jim as much as you clearly love him.

Brendajos

I'm so sorry. I've never lost a close friend, so I can only imagine how it must be. Your memories and stories of him will live on.

My heart just breaks for you and your kids (and the Hot Wife) that you're going through this. I'm so sorry. There's nothing that can make what is happening better except remembering the good times. Remember Jimbo for who he was. How full of life and humor he was. When I saw the picture you just posted my heart dropped. I am so, so sorry. My thoughts and prayers and with you, your family, and Jimbo's family as well.

Danny ... my heart goes out to you, the family, and Jimbo and his family and friends. To immortalize him the way you have on your blog over the years, in good times and bad, has to be one of the best tributes you can do for him.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and your friends family. I just lost my mom at age 60 to Inflammatory Breast Caner on Oct. 3rd. Our hearts will heal with the wonderful memories we will share of our lost loved ones.

From Danny's "respectful" email...

"If you take this blog award from me, I'll bite you in the throat. Call of your dogs."

In his next email he called me Satan.

I love you so freaking much, Danny, but you must understand...I once drew blood over a damn game of Clue.

I haven't said anything about this because, well, what is there to say? "I'm sorry" seems trite, and everyone's relationship with everyone else is so different that you can't ever truly know how it feels to one person to lose someone.

But, well, I'm sorry. It seems to me like Jimbo was a freakin' pistol from what I've read here, and for him to have left a positive impact on so many people through you speaks well of him.

And you've got my vote. I enjoy reading your blog, very much.

Just to be clear, Amy (Amalah) is my friend. I like and respect her, and there's no way to argue with the quality of her heart or her writing. Let's not bash her. Please. She deserves to win the award and, frankly, I've had enough support this week.

I'm sorry, Danny. So very sorry. Words just don't seem adequate, you know?

My sister-in-law died from liver cancer. By the time she was gone, it had spread to her lungs and brain. We visited with her as often as we could, and she loved seeing my son. On our last conscious visit, we chatted about cookbooks, and recent reading material. The next time we saw her, she was a few days from the end. My son (three at the time) stood next to her and patted her hand. Our conversation went something like:
"She doesn't feel well, mommy?"
"No sweetie, Aunt V. is sick, and she won't get better."
"She wants her mommy."
"Maybe she does."
"I will give her a hug so she will feel better." He hugged her hand and played quietly next to her bed for most of our visit. I think she felt better - she always loved spending time with my little guy. She died a few days later, peacefully. The medical professionals had said it would be bad, but it wasn't.

In my experience, kids are pretty good at handling death, and they are often a comforting reminder of the vibrancy of living.

I hope your friend slips away in peace. I believe there's something after this life, and if I'm right...well, he'll remember you and the love and laughter you've shared, and he lives on as long as you remember him, too.

By the way, after she died, we took V on a cruise - we'd been trying for years to get her to join us and she told us she'd go on this one if she could, before she died. So we brought an urn. She's now buried, in part, on a beach on St. Barts.

We honor the dead by living.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

I'm so sorry about Jimbo, Danny. So, so sorry.

DGM,

Celebrate your friend Jimbo's life. From your stories it appears you shared a great, fun relationship. You, Jimbo, and Jimbo's family are in our prayers.

I read you all the time but don't comment much.

My condolences re: Jimbo. That's a great picture of him you posted; he looks like a fun guy. From what you've written about him, now and previously, I'm sure he'll be missed. How lucky you were to have had him in your life.

I'm so sorry about Jimbo. My heart goes out to all of you.

Daniel P Evans,

You know I don't read your blog very often, but I knew that you would be writing about Jim. Sharon called me today to tell me he had passed. I was driving into SF when she called & wanted to pull over so I could cry, but I was in the middle of the freeway traffic so I'm crying now.

We've been talking about the inevitability for months, but you never want to believe it will really happen.

As with all those we love, share a laugh and shed a tear... he will forever live in your memories.

You know, he's looking down at you now and all the wonderful things that are happening in your life and giving you a high-five.

I'm sitting in my best friends office right now typing this to you. On her wall is a picture I gave her with the caption "I don't see my best friend every day... but our friendship is simple and forever." She's has severe sleep apnea (along with a thousand other things) which could be life threatening. And I'm very scared for her and her family and myself. She is the finest person I know.

Anyway Daniel P Evans, it is the people in our lives that make the difference. Jim will always be one of those people in yours.

My heart goes out to Cody.

I love my Evans family. Big hugs to all of you.

Don't be surprised if Jimbo comes to visit you in a dream in the next month or so. All the people I've been close to that have died have all come to me in these very realistic dreams. I know it sounds crazy, but it's happened too often to me to not be real. It gave me comfort in those times of mourning. Allow yourself to feel the loss, and celebrate his life by loving those around you that much more- but you already know that part. Take care of yourselves.

Oh man, Danny. I know exactly what you're going through - I lost a good friend to cancer last week. It sucketh beyond belief. What's great about from what I know about you via here, is that you're going to rock his memory, and that's a huge honor that anyone would hope for.

Godspeed Jimbo
(( )) Many hugs Danny and family

Goodbye, Jimbo. Condolences to you, his family and friends.

It is your last gift to Jimbo and his family that you've made us all care about this warm and funny man. He deserves better from life and it bloody sucks that he has to suffer.

My deepest condolences, Evans Family. Continue to honor Jimbo's life by sharing his story...those who have a place in our heart's are never really gone.

Danny et al. I am so very sorry for the loss of Jim. Thinking of you.

I lost my father a little less than a year ago to liver cancer that spread to his brain spleen stomach and esophagus. He was a Green Beret Paratrooper, honary Navy Seal .. over all badass, seeing him fade away over the year and a half he spent ill and caring for him for the last 3 weeks of his life was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It is such a hard thing to go through watching someone you love suffer. My prayers are with you, hot wife and the children.