One Little Victory
I’ve been unemployed for more than two weeks now and there is no need to mince words about it – I love it.
By my count, I’ve spent all but one of the past 14 years in a cubicle. Five days a week, eight hours a day, wallowing away in a box while I work primarily for the benefit of others. The days bleed into one another, each a minuscule variation of the one before it. I’d wait and hope for something I could not articulate. One little spark. One little boost. One little victory. But it never materialized. It existed only because I wanted it to. Because I needed it to.
That’s what it’s like. That’s how I’ve lived. I’ve always known I was capable of more, but the modern workplace is awash with people whose egos bruise easier than an overripe peach, and surrendering even a wisp of control or credit is inconceivable to so many. I’ve worked for managers who can hardly manage their own lives, let alone a staff of others. I’ve had bosses in positions of power based not on experience or expertise or logical qualification, but on ownership of the company or a history of brazenly sucking the right VP cocks at the right times.
It’s a game, pure and simple. You play it because you have to, because it’s your job to have a job, because you have a family to feed and that’s of paramount importance and sometimes you have to eat a giant scoop of shit in order to provide for them. But at some point you have to wonder, “What’s in it for me?” Someone once said the true definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. So I ask myself why, after 14 years of playing this game five days a week, would I expect to one day find that one little victory? I must be insane.
I won’t lie; I was terrified to be so suddenly without work. I’m still quite concerned about money and health care and the flailing US economy. But I find it poetically just that six days after my layoff, I got my little victory.
I’ve taken on some projects in the interim, and for the first time in forever I am finding joy in my work. I take my laptop to coffee shops and I write my ass off and at the end of the day I feel satisfied. I’m working for my own benefit, not someone else’s. I don’t have to play any games. I don’t have to answer to anyone’s ego or ulterior motivation. I work in the sunlight, far from the incessant hum of fluorescent bulbs and drab cubicle walls.
Hot Wife says she can see a difference in me. She says she can tell just by looking at my face that I have finally, after all these years of anguish, found work that makes me feel alive.
I can’t say unequivocally that I’ll never work in a cubicle again; I probably will. But if I do, I’ll find solace in the fact that it’s a means to an end, and not the end itself.
It's amazing how small and relatively simple a thing can be so difficult for us to realise.
Working for yourself, in your own environment is a small thing, but makes a huge difference.
Enjoy it.
Sometimes life makes decisions for us because we haven't done so ourselves. For example, I despise cleaning so once a day, one of my guys spills something that requires a mop and there you have it, I'm forced to clean. I would never have done it on my own.
Seriously though, congrats on your big gulp of fresh air.
That is so amazing! I am so envious. I wish I knew what job/career would make me feel more alive. So far, I definately have not found it. Hence the reason I am reading blogs instead of being productive. Blah.
Ok - so somehow I missed the initial post about the book deal (maybe because I, too, have found joy in some other job - being a mom - and only have to prairie dog in and out of the cube farm 3 days a week...but, I digress....) WAY TO KICK SOME ASS! Best of luck for a cubicle-free future! Looking forward to reading a killer book!
I am very excited to see you embracing this experience! It was amazing timing. I dream of the day I can get away from the grind of what other people want and need and find something that fulfills me. Thanks for living the dream for the rest of us =D
I am very excited to see you embracing this experience! It was amazing timing. I dream of the day I can get away from the grind of what other people want and need and find something that fulfills me. Thanks for living the dream for the rest of us =D
Well said, Danny! Hope you find continued success and happiness while thumbing your nose at "The Man". I traded cubicles for ships 10 years ago and while it means long weeks away from home and family, it still beats a cubicle, even on a bad day, which is usually a hurricane...
Oh, I am so happy for you. And also that there will be more of you to read.
I feel unworthy to write a comment here since I'm in a cube right now...stories like this give me some hope that I can get out of this grey-wall heaven called work. Congrats on your book deal!
Enjoy it! I've been self-employed for 18 years and, every once in a while, I'll start to think how nice it would be to come home from work and be HOME with no pile of undone stuff for clients staring me in the face 24/7. BUT then I think about giving up the freedom I've enjoyed and I hyperventilate and get all twitchy. Self-employment isn't always all wonderful but it's a heck of a lot better than the alternative. Best wishes!
You summed up why I stopped working in a cubicle long ago! This is really the true way to enjoy a work/life balance - on your own terms. Even with the state of the economy and all, if you love what you have now as far as terms for working, you'll be that much more motivated to find a way to make it work and be successful at it. Keep it up - you and the family will enjoy it!
You even SOUND less stressed in your writing! :)
Congrats on a fresh start!
You're very fortunate Danny. Many will never find what makes them happy, especially within a career. Congratulations
I'm really happy for ya Danny (pumps fist in the air!)
Good for you. Life is so much better when you can do what you love for a living.
We've all been waiting for this.
Cube-dwelling is not your destiny.
Looking forward to seeing what IS your destiny...it's rolling along, now.
RIGHT ON!!!!
Typing this from my office - although not a cubicle, but a little office - with a whole lot of jealousy. The thought of getting canned scares the crap out of me. I know I'd survive, somehow. But it sounds like you are kicking the proverbial ass! And the book deal was perfect timing ... divine intervention? Best of luck to you! And as others have said your writing does appear a bit less stressed. Enjoy life from this new perspective!
DANG! I want what you're having. And you're *so* right on with the sucking-VP-cock comment, it makes me cry hot tears into my mousepad. In a cubicle environment, there simply isn't any space for excellence, but you're required to join the trek towards mass mediocrity--it's frustrating, disheartening, and depressing, all at the same time. If you're concerned about health insurance, is there any chance that you could get that through Hot Wife's job (assuming that she works)?
Sweeeeeet! (But how in the hell did I miss the post about your book deal? Congrats anyway!) You give hope to the rest of us that are still toiling for The Man. SO happy for you that you get to live the dream- you deserve it! And happy for us readers that there will be even more DGM to snarf our milk to in the future!
A-freaking-MEN.
It's great to hear you've found something you enjoy so much and can be so proud of! You never know how a bad thing can turn unexpectedly into good, do you?
Danny, the cubicle has ALWAYS been just the means to an end....but you simply could not see the forest for the trees! Take a deep breath and enjoy life...it's a blast!
I go on maternity leave in just 10 weeks. I'm hanging on by a thread. Speaking of work that will make me feel alive, I think that being a Mom will do just that.
Your timing on this was perfect, Danny. I needed these words today. Thanks.
I hear you, Danny!
I quit my job as a corporate controller back in late November, and have been working from home for the last number of months. The money is a bit less, but Hot Fiance (imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and all that) has a great benefits plan, so if all my teeth fall out, at least I'm covered.
Really, though, I would consider selling my immortal soul if it meant never having to have a joy-sucking 8 to 5 job again.
Paul? Is this you? No? It's really Dad Gone Mad? Okay, just checking.
I'm really glad that you are enjoying yourself. The Man is the same way you are - happy and excited. I don't get it. I don't have to though. Good for you.
Sometimes that bitch Karma works for the good guy.
i haven't yet read the post (it always takes me forever to read your posts, and i never have 'forever')
but, i need to know. was the title of this post a tribute to the greatest rock band in the world? if so, i'd like to know. :)
In my mid-twenties I worked as a car wash manager in San Diego. It was a miserable job, involving lots of employees, lots of customers with cars they loved more than their children, and lots of interference from a corporate office.
I hated it, but I kept at it because my wife was in law school. In March of 2003, three months before she graduated, I couldn't take it any more and I quit to, well, do nothing (except wait for the fall, when I would go back to school).
I worried about quitting, seeing as my income was our only income, and we had a mortgage (no kids then) and we would have to make it through until October when my wife began her job. I really doubted that it was the right decision.
On my last day of work I left after the morning was over, figuring "Hey, what are they gonna do? Fire me?" I took my wife to Disneyland. We went to California Adventure. We played "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Play It!" as we always did.
And I won a cruise.
So, that's when I knew that I had made the right choice.
Disney told me so.
Years ago at an inservice meeting our superintendent challenged us with "When you retire in 30 years will you have taught 30 years or taught the same year 30 times?"
Most of my 30 years in education were spent in teaching junior high math and I can truthfully say that no two days were ever the same. They never are when you're dealing with pre-teens/teens.
I find it so sad to hear an adult say they do not enjoy their work. The ability to change the situation we are in is what makes our lives so interesting and the future so promising.
Dreams can come true...I'm so glad yours is. You are such a good father and your whole family will benefit from your continued reach for the stars. I hope you already have an idea for your next venture.
For those unhappy in the status quo, consider adding a teaching certificate to your degree. It's true that you won't make the big bucks but your environment will expand from the cubicle to the universe. And, at the end of your career you will realize that you really have made a difference.
I agree with DR. I made that jump back in 2001 and thank each day for it. Now I really get to mess with preteens and beyond. Oh what fun. Just ask BG, he loves his new digs and even has a pet name for it! Bottom line is that we all believe in you and have every confidence that you will have your victory.
I look forward with earnest to my days outside of the cubicle life. It truly and honestly sucks the life out of you. I'm glad you're finally been able to do what you want to do.
I know this sounds corny, Danny, but in my heart I have my fingers crossed for you.
Congratulations! That's fantastic news!
Even though I seem to keep taking jobs that pay me less and less, I have control of my time, which is far more important than money (above subsistence levels, that is). I walked away from big law firm life and never looked back. I have friends who stayed in so long they are now shackled by the golden handcuffs--they live in fear of their own freedom.
So, good for you!
Congrats, DGM! I was lucky enough to kick the corporate gig years ago, and I'll never go back. There's nothing like working for yourself, seeing sunlight during the day, not having to putz around in a cubicle. Life is for living.
Now if I could only get my single-dad self a friggin' date! Apparently, I'm going about it all wrong...
Don't do it man! Stay with your gut and do it on your own. It's soooo much more rewarding! Congrats on the book deal. I know I'll buy whatever you put out there!
I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. 9 years ago - I left the ad agency world and ventured on my own. I have never looked back. I love every day. I love the freedom and the flexibility to go to all the stupid activities in the schools. I have worked less and made more money. Congrats to you and your family. You have forever changed your life for the better.
It's a double edged sword. You work for someone else and you have security (somewhat) but satisfaction isn't there, you work for yourself and the security is shot to shit. But the satisfaction? Ya can't beat it!
My husband and I are both self-employed - him much longer than me - we've had highs and more lows than you can count and I wouldn't change it for the world.
My wife went straight outta college into a shared office, and now one of her own. She has never known the drudgery and lack of privacy that comes with the cube farm. I so envy her.
But kudos to you for staying so motivated. I suppose when there's $$ on the line, it's easier. Last time I was unemployed for more than a few weeks, it was very hard for me to sit down and focus on something.
Glad you can!
-Dobe
A wonderful realization to have.
Hey -- love the writing on the fence!! Has that been there this whole time?
I know exactly what you are talking about because I'm into my 36th year in a cubical or small office. Though I've enjoyed my work, the 10 years I had actual walls & a door were definately the better years. Then we moved again, new rules came into effect and being just a first line supervisor no longer qualified me for an office - just a slightly larger cubical than others got. And I do not want to supervise supervisors because that would get me too far from the actual work I enjoy so a cubical it is. BUT, 314 days and about 7 hours from now and I'll be unemployed because I'll have finally reached the goal that has kept me in a cubical so long (retirement).
Hey - has your blog always played music? I never noticed it before today. Being in a cubical I intentionally keep the sound down quite low and today I was hearing something strange and decided to turn up the sound to see if it was coming from the PC.
Nope, no music from DGM. It was another new site I had openned that was sitting behind DGM. A DGM reader's site that I wanted to investigate - The Pirate.
I'm very happy for you-- you've put in the time, and you definitely deserve this. I hope you DON'T have to go back to cubicle-ville ever again. I can only hope to be so lucky one day.
Thank heaven for the small victories which raise us up when management can make us feel so small.
Looking forward to seeing your work. (other than here of course..)
that amazing! I'm going through some life changing stuff myself and it's very liberating to suddenly be living the life you've dreamed of.
don't you miss prairiedoggin' a little? i always thought it was fun to make a loud farting noise around a bunch of cubes and then watch how quickly a bunch of heads would pop up. loud profanity also works.
:-)
I'm so happy for you! Congrats..
Im so happy for you that you were able to get out of working in a cubicle. Congrats on living the live that you have dreamed of.
You lucky, lucky bastard ...
Of course, I actually work as a professional writer, so I'm a bit torn -- on one hand, it's nice to do what I love to do. On the other hand, it sucks ass to write what someone else wants me to write, rather than what I want to.
**sigh**
So ... you got enough clout yet to help a
friend... um ... some times blogger and commenter get a book deal?:-)