It would be a much easier decision if she didn’t have those fleeting moments of puppy-like enthusiasm, if she didn’t occasionally show us that despite her otherwise decrepit state she can still trot and play and live. Sometimes we look at her, then look at each other, and in that brief silence we confirm the uniformity of our thinking. It’s almost time. Not yet, but soon. We know this. We believe it. But then she’ll find it in herself somewhere to be what she used to be, if only for a few seconds. And then we’re not so sure.

The questions hang in the air like dust. Is she suffering? Is this it? Does she know?

We don’t know. That’s the truth.

Our home is littered with the sad realities. They hang about like cobwebs in the corners – clearly there, clearly begging to be wiped away, but ignored because nobody wants to confront them. Nobody wants to have to consider their genesis, their meaning, their foreshadowing of what we all must face eventually: she’s going to die. Not yet, but soon.

We must use this moment as a teaching tool, yes, but what will they learn from our decisions? I look back at the last time and try to draw parallels – emotional, educational, rational. But I was 20. It will be different for them. They have never known life without her. We’ll talk with them, perhaps cry with them, try to help them deal with the loss. But the grown-up stuff – the actual decision to euthanize their dog – is too intense for their young minds.

But they see her. They know. We’ve discussed it with them, told them that Rusty won’t be with us much longer.

“Yes, sweetheart. She’ll go up to heaven to be with Jimbo. Not yet, but soon.”

I have paused frequently these past weeks, to let myself feel this. To let myself realize how it feels to have to make a decision about a life or the termination thereof. My mind has wandered, instinctively running away from the weight of such a concept. It feels awkward to admit that, but there it is. The dog is sick. She’s lost weight, lost pep, lost control of her bladder. It should be an easy call. But it’s not.

Because she still does have those fleeting moments of puppy-like enthusiasm, and then we're not so sure.

Comments

Oh... I am SO sorry. I wish that nobody had to make those kinds of decisions. I wish you all the best...and hope that the memories you carry of her will help you through your new phase as a family.

I spent the wee hours of yesterday morning cleaning up dog vomit, drinking my first cup of coffee at 4:00 AM in the backyard while watching my dog heave, all because she ate something she obviously shouldn't have. She has downed chicken bones, a one lb. chocolate bunny, underwear, and even a breast pad (covered with breastmilk...mmmm). Her slobber and hair is everywhere, and right now she's barking incessantly at some old lady walking down the street. Really? Does she look like she's going to break in?

This dog of mine drives me crazy most of the time. But, right now I'm going to scratch her head and take her outside for a fetch.

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. We made the decision to try to hang on to our dog for as long as possible, but now my husband tells everyone that we never should have. It wasn't fair to the dog. A few years later, our cat got sick and we let her go because we knew what we had went through with the dog. It is hard because you love them so much.

This brings back memories. My dog was the same. Then it got down to 2 nights in a row of vomiting black looking stuff. Turned out to be blood, and stomach cancer. When I took him to the Vet the next day he sat there in the waiting room all perky and tongue showing happy face. When I said we were there for euthanasia everyone looked at me like I was a monster, but the Vet said he was surprised it didn't happen sooner. When the kids got home from pre-school I told them I had taken Sasha to the vet and now he was in heaven. About a year later my then 5 year old asked me, out of the blue, what heaven looked like. "I don't know Sweetheart." "Well, what did it look like when you dropped Sasha off?"

I still think about him. The girls still talk about him. We have had several other dogs we have loved and lost since then. The decision is never easy. It's sort of like having to use "tough love" on your kids for their own good. Except the "tough love" is on you.

I am so sorry for your impending loss. There are no words that can comfort the experience of losing a pet.

I brought in my sweet pup just about a year ago. This may help:

We were leaving to go on a vacation, and I knew I couldn't have the teenager who usually took care of her do all the things I had recently begun to do (change bedding twice a day, bathe her daily, clean up her "transgressions") so I called the vet and asked if she could recommend a pro. She said what I was providing her was basically hospice care and that it is very common for dogs to die when their owners leave them with strangers.

I decided I'd rather be holding her in my arms than let her go it alone.

It was just brutal, and I still miss her all the time.

Still, I am glad that I did it, and I am glad that I was holding her.

Hang tough,

Laurie

So sorry you and your family are going through this. It is never ever a simple decision to make. Wishing you strength and peace for you all.

Awww, I'm so sorry. We have a beautiful Golden, too. I feel for you and the kiddos! Sorry, again. ((hugs to the family))

http://www.sympathypain.com/shelbyremembered/
It makes my heart hurt.

Please trust that you will know when the time is right to release her from her pain, just as you have always made the best decisions for her. I'm looking at my 10 year old Standard Poodle who has been through multiple surgeries in recent weeks and is having a hard time recovering. My heart hurts for you. Be kind to yourselves in this tough time.

I'm right there with you, man. Just put my dog to sleep last weekend while the kids vacationed with my folks. They don't know yet, but we've been preparing them for a quite a few months now. Everyone said "you'll know". And I finally figured out when. Still, it was harder than I thought.

Good luck. Hang in there.

I am so sorry for you all, to have to go through this. And sadly, the decision doesn't get easier the longer you put it off. Take care.

I am so sorry for you all, to have to go through this. And sadly, the decision doesn't get easier the longer you put it off. Take care.

I'm so sorry.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

We are a Golden family too. We have had two, and had to put down one. It still breaks my heart years later. They are the best dogs in the world, and what makes it so hard is that they love their "people" so completely. You will know when it's time and, as hard as it is, you will do what's best for Rusty.

I can't even imagine. I can't even think about it.

delurking to say: I'm sorry about your puppy. She is beautiful.

I think you'll know when yet comes. I was in the same position with my 16 year old cat. We knew it was soon, but not yet. It was obvious when it was time. It made the decision easier, but not the process.

I am so sorry. This must be so difficult for you.

{hugs}

Meredith

Hi Danny,

I just discovered your website a few weeks ago and I've been voraciously reading through all the back entries.

I had to de-lurk because I just got the very first dog of my life (I'm twenty-six) last Wednesday. She's a twelve-pound, one-eyed, four-year-old rescue, and she's already the most wonderful thing in my life. So I am especially so sorry that Rusty will soon be gone. I wish y'all the best.

Hugs,
~jj

p.s. [insert fart joke here]

Oh it breaks my heart for you and your family. Rusty looks so much like our Data, who we put down when his hips finally were done after sixteen years. He was such a wonderful dog and honestly it is still hard. We know we did it as late as we could, but it is never easy. My husband and I have our own dog now and that day in the future when it is her time...that day haunts me. I am so sorry for the loss that is coming. She looks happy and like she has had a wonderful life.

So sorry to hear about Rusty.
She's beautiful.
I hope she's in good spirits and in no pain.

You'll know.

We were disappointed with our Golden Macduff because he never became an airline pilot like we thought he would (he's so smart and handsome!). He's in his later years now, and we are in complete denial about losing him some day. I've never lost a pet - not even a fish - and I expect that it will be "difficult."

My Zen wish for Rusty is that everything goes as it should, not to be rushed or prolonged. I think what everyone is saying is that you will know when to help her. You all have my best wishes for peace and strength.

On a related note, I am looking forward to watching the Yankees sweep Boston tonight. I will have a good thought for Jimbo.

I'm sorry you are faced with making that decision. And I know it's not a lot of comfort now, but it is true that you will know when it is time.

Giving my Etta an extra squeeze tonight--

We still have not been able to get a new pet after the loss of ours 8 years ago. It hurts, to think of what you're going through!

At least there's this: When she's gone, it will be much easier to remember back to when she was her young and peppy self. These hard days will fade, and you'll have the memories of earlier times. So will the kids.

I so know the anguish you're going through. When it's time, you usually don't know. You (meaning I) generally don't know until it's past time. And then the guilt sets in. But too soon leads to guilt, as well. My heart breaks for the grief you'll be experiencing soon. Enjoy the time you have with her now.

I will be thinking of you and your family. Pets are not just animals for some people; they are members of the family, and she would want you to ease her suffering when the time came. Take care, Erin & Midnight

My brother and SIL just went through this with their labrador. She was very old, her hips were bad, and she had become incontinent. If it's any consolation, their two boys (7 & 5) handled it better than all of us grown-ups.

Rusty knows she is loved and she will be thankful for you for making the sacrifice and taking care of her needs one last time.

This hurts me to read. I can only imagine what your family is feeling. I am so sorry.

We just had the palliative care meeting with our vet about our 11 year old shepherd. It breaks my heart to see her in pain and it breaks my heart to think of the alternatives.
I get it.

I am plagiarizing this and it is not my poem.

I have had to make this decision for two of my beloved cats and each time I cried for days, but I read and re-read this poem to help me through. This is what I told my nephew when he asked about what had happened to Baby Kitty & Turbo: "When you love someone so much that their pain is your own, you know that some times the kindest act of all is to let them go." I also kept the ashes of my pets and that helped my nephew understand the finality and it gave him a tactile item to help him "lay" them to rest.
I don't know if the poem will help but here it is:

A PET'S PLEA
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep
Then you much do what must be done
For this, the last battle, can't be won.
You will be sad- I understand
Don't let your grief then stay your hand
For this day, more than all the rest
Your love and friendship stand the test.
We've had so many happy years
What is to come can hold no fears
You'd not want me to suffer, so
When the time comes, please let me go.
I know in time you too will see
It is a kindness you do to me
Although my tail, it's last has waved
From pain and suffering I've been saved.
Don't grieve that it should be you
Who has decided this thing to do
We've been so close, we two these years
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

I totally feel you. Max is not what he used to be, either. My husband won't even talk about it but I know we will be making that kind of decision soon. My husband says as long as he still wags his tail when he sees us walk through the door, he is still fine.

Hi there...I'm sorry you're going through this. We lost the dog I dumped on my parents when I left for college last year, and it was heartrending. Her companion, a great black lab mutt, is 12 and probably won't be with us too much longer. It's so hard, you don't want to let them go but you worry it's not fair to keep them. I hope when the time comes, you're at peace with it.

I have a cat, who is only 2, almost 3 years old, and the idea of having to put her down tears my heart to shreds. I'm so sorry you have to go through it and I hope that when it is the right time, you'll find some peace in it.

it really f-in sucks when children have to be exposed to this.. shit i am 26 and my parents just had to put one of their dogs down and I cried.. animals are wonderful family members, i just wish their life spans were longer.. you guys are in my thoughts..

Of course it's not an easy decision. She is a part of your family. I am so sorry you and your family has to deal with this. Your poor children. Hugs to you all.

P.S. Your dog is a beauty!

I have had these thoughts about our cat, he's only 8 now and our kid is only 2, but I know someday the cat will be gone and Sam will never have known life without him before that.

I'm sorry you have to make the decision, but happy that you care for and love Rusty so much. She is beautiful!

I'm terribly sad for your family's impending loss. Wish there were something I could say to make it better.

When the time comes look for a book called "Dog Heaven". My kids and I read it when our dog died and it's beautiful and comforting.

http://www.amazon.com/Dog-Heaven-Cynthia-Rylant/dp/0590417010/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217214814&sr=8-1

We're right there with you, Danny. We are struggling to know when the time has come for our 13 year old Lab, and the pain is awful. You don't want to have to make that decision about your dog's life...Thinking of you...

My heart just broke...and there are tears in my eyes.

Rex gets extra hugs and love tonight.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry about your impending loss.

I put my 13 year old cat down 3 years ago. Believe me, you will know when the time is right.

I put two of my labs down within 8 months of each other. They were both 12. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Telling my kids and taking them through it was also incredibly hard. I wrote an essay about it that was published in Newsweek, it details how I handled it with the kids. It worked for us and the kids seems to transition through it pretty well. I hope it helps you. http://www.newsweek.com/id/46533

I'm sorry about your pup. :(

There will never be a right time. I'm so sorry.

Our vet was kind enough to come to our house to put my dog down.

I wrote about it here.... http://blissfulreminders.blogspot.com/2007/12/my-dog-willow.html

Your sweet puppy looks very happy and has had such a wonderful life with you all. What a wonderful dog!

I'm so very sorry. We had to put our sixteen year old fur-baby down in December. Even with the crippling arthritis, deafness, damn-near-blindness (yes, we caught him barking at the air conditioner .... almost funny if not so freaking sad) and bladder control issues, it was still one of the most heart-breaking decisions of my life.

Anyone who says "it's just an animal" has clearly never had a pet that is loved as much as any human member of your family.

For what it's worth, Rusty is beautiful.

I hope you get many more days of puppy love from her before it's time.

I went through this with one of my precious cats a year ago. We were told in April 2007 that he had two weeks. We took him to regular vet visits and she told us that he was the toughest little guy she'd ever seen. He made it until the begining of July 2007. He was just as you've described, there were moments when he acted like himself again. He was only four, so he still had a lot of that kitten in him, but he was so sick. When it was actually time, we knew without a doubt that the day had come. We took him in for an emergency visit and the vet confirmed it. We were there with him the whole time and he went peacefully and, I hope, knowing how much we loved him.

This is a very hard decision to make. But you will know when it is time, she will let you know in her own way. I'm so very sorry.

My heart hurts for you.

Loving her as you do, you'll know when the time is right She'll let you know when she is ready to watch over you from another place.

Those puppy-like moments break my heart. They're still puppies on the inside, but their bodies just won't let them be. It's hard to face the inevitable end. Our dog is 10 yrs old and we've had her since she was 8 weeks. She was our first "baby". I do not envy your position at all.

I am so sorry to hear your family has to go through this sadness. I just had to let my dog go last summer, one of the hardest days of my life. I realized though that she was not just dying...I was setting her free from a sick body. She's happy now. You'll know when it is time..she'll tell you. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Dan,

I gave my father a book last year, Merle's Door about a man and his dog and if you have time, go find it and skim through the end. He does an amazing job of describing how he finally decided to put his beloved dog to sleep. It might help but beware, if you read this standing up in the book section at Target, you will cause small children to spontaneously join you in a bawl fest and mothers will curse you... noth that that happened or anything....

We have had pets all my life and it never gets any easier. Each time we see it coming we sit down and have the "quality of life" discussion.

We had to have this discussion two weeks ago about my 10 year old black Lab.
A few days later we had to tell the vet to go ahead.

Yes, having to make that choice hurts like hell, but it's part of the responsibilities of pet ownership. (I'm tearing up as I write this)

Better to euthanize a day too early than a day too late.

Good luck, man. I know it is a tough decision and I know you will know what the right thing to do is. I had a pure-breed Chow-chow who was extremely sweet-tempered but Chows are suppose to be meaner than pit bulls. So, when she started getting sick and recognizing people less, we had to put her down. Otherwise, she may have hurt someone. I still miss her but it was the right thing to do for us.

Losing a pet can be tough.

Just don't talk to the pets ashes in an urn, while in a drunken stupor, like I did.

OhMyGosh. My family is at the same juncture as your's and we've had almost the exact same discussion. Our dogs are even similar - we have a golden retriever/collie mix. She was running around the yard yesterday barking at the neighbors, and it'll be two weeks before she can move easily again.
It's so difficult. Selfishly I hope that she just passes in her sleep. I don't know if I can cope with having to take her to be euthanized. I know I can't let her go without being there. But, in the end, I wouldn't trade a day we've had so far. I love that damn dog.

We had a schnauzer that was 15 yrs when we put him down. He had lost control of his kidneys, lost 1/2 his body weight and was having strokes. My sisters and I are older so we understood why. My little sister even took him for ice cream and french fries the day before he passed.

Even knowing its for the best doesn't make it easier. I know how hard it is and I am sorry to anyone who has to put a pet down.

I'm so sorry about your pup. I remember having to put my dog down. It was in 1997, and it still feels bad 11 years later. I still have two of her toys.

Now, having another dog I'm even more attached to, I can't even begin to imagine how I'll feel, or how I'd break it to my kids. I'm sure your family will make the best of it, if there is a "best of it." Keep her pictures around so they remember her happy face.

I think you'll know when...

You know, no matter how many times in life you lose a pet, whether through a decision made by you or for you, it still sucks. Big time.

I am in the exact same situation with a fellow big dog, my first born son, err dog named Ace. He has been with my wife and I almost as long as we have been together. He even stood up at our wedding. But lately he is getting thinner, he losing control of his sphincter and he aches a lot more when he gets up. And yet, when I come home from work he still greets me with his tail wagging and howling like he did as a puppy. In the backyard, he will still chase the ball or play with another dog. I have a 4 year old who has only known life with Ace and I can't imagine how I will discuss this with him. We haven't talked about a heaven. I keep telling myself there will not be a post-Ace time because will live forever, but reality is insistently poking its head into my bubble.

My childhood dog was a beautiful little golden. We had the same dilemma, because it was so hard to tell how much she might have been suffering. Eventually, we came to the decision that we'd rather let her go peacefully than have one moment of knowing for sure that she was in pain. She fell asleep in my father's arms and didn't wake up again. I still miss her (10 years later), but I don't regret letting her go.

I"m so sorry, Danny. We lost our cat last month, but I think it was much easier in that she just died, and we didn't have any decisions to make or second-guessing. That must be really heart-wrenching.

The mean, bite the vet, howl in the car, dog rode like an angel and let the vet put him on the table the day he was put down. But waiting until a friend is in pain is too late. The really hard one was having to put down my horse. I had her 26 years but the vet could not make her young again.
I can understand your pain.

So sorry to read this. She looks just like the golden retriever I grew up with. He died four years ago, and my mom's still got his picture up on the mantle with those of the rest of her kids.

This hits home. My 15-year-old dog is really slowing down and sometimes I find myself looking for her just to make sure she's still breathing- and then she bounces around (kind of) with the kids or the other dogs and she seems 5 years younger. I'm not sure how much time we have left, but it can't be too long.

My mom and dad acquired a Sheltie for my sister and me when I was eighteen months old. He was the most wonderful doggie-sweet, intelligent, gentle, and perfect house manners.

I was seventeen when my parents finally had to make that awful decision. And though we are now bitterly divorced, my then-boyfriend earned many points in heaven for the way he held me while I sobbed.

And yet, I know it was the right thing to do.

De-lurking to share in your emotions. We had to let my baby boy, Prince Charming go last month. I still hurt. My 3 year old kept saying when she turns 4, she wanted to go heaven to see big dog and Fresca(another pet gone). Broke my heart. He was too young(7). Wanted to share what I wrote for him the day we let him go. I couldn't stand to watch him get sick, this helped me.

There's nothing more that's left to do but wipe away the tears
You've stood by me and been my friend these last 7 years
I've worked so hard to give you all the best I could
Even though it hurts so much, I know I did what I should
You don't deserve to feel the pain of what you're going through
And letting you go in good spirits is the very best that I could do
My heart won't sit by and let you suffer just to buy me more time
Because no matter in my lap or in heaven, you will always be mine

Farewell Prince. If there was ever a gift to be given it was you to me. And my gift to you is to not make you suffer for myself.

I still miss him, he was my first love, Mr. Prince Charming.

I feel for you and your family right now. I have been there for the last moments of my dogs life, cats lives and have helped a couple of horses make their way across the rainbow bridge. And the odd thing is, each one of them told me in their own way that it was time for them to go. And they do tell you. I can't say what it is exactly, but I watched an old horse spend the last week of his life lounging with his two old girlfriends, basking in the warm of a true Indian summer one October. He could barely walk, and he and I spent hours together, speaking volumes and saying nothing. I knew that his time was near.

And when it was his time, I knew and he knew and it was okay. We released him from his body that had failed him and I could hear his hoof beats clearly as he ran to green and lush pastures. I heard the welcoming whinny of his friends long past before him and I heard the barks and meows of old pets greeting him. And I feel him everyday. His physical presence may be gone. Those teeth that used to nip at me if I was brushing his coat in the wrong way, or just not moving fast enough are gone, but he is here. Everyday.

When it is time, Rusty will tell you. You will hear it clearly, cleanly, and you will know. Only Rusty's body will leave you. The spirit, the joy, the love, will live with you and your children for ever.

It is so hard, this end of a live that gives us so much and expects so little in return. You and your family are in my thoughts.

i'm tearing up over my donut and coffee. if my dog were in this situation, i'd probably be in sackcloth and ashes by now.

So sorry :-( Telling the kids totally sucks. Dude and Princess were 6 1/2 and 4 when we put our first "child" down. Princess didn't totally understand, just wanted to go to bed . . . at 6:00 p.m. Dude was in a funk the entire night and drew a ton of pictures of Maggie . . . all the way down to a piece of her fur. They understand she's up in Heaven playing ball with Old Grandpa and his dog Spot and that she's really happy there. They still cry when they talk about her - it's been 18 months. Basically - telling them totally sucks. Doing it sucks worse.

Getting a new puppy 8 months later is awesome, though :-)

Thinking about you and the fam!

We just went through this 3 weeks ago. Actually, we are still going through it. So difficult to get beyond it, even knowing it was only selfish on our part to keep our Tootsie alive for our pleasure, not so much for hers as she was struggling with the pain, but yet always had that smile on her face and that tail wagging when anyone got within 10 feet of her. There were many tears, the crying is not done yet. The kids, though, handled it well, I think. We discussed it with them, which is so important. I remember as a child, my parents put down our beloved dog without even mentioning it to my sister and I. We were not prepared in the least and I resented them for that.

You'll know when it is time and yet you will regret it. If only they could tell us. May you have peace in your heart as you go through this agonizing ordeal.

I'm just blown away by the number of people who say "you'll know" because I never felt like I knew, and the vet kept telling me "it's up to you..." And then, even though poor Chipotle did have a chest full of cancer tumors, I found out a week later that her wonderful, expensive, Nutro pet food had just been recalled because of some kind of contamination. And even though she was a rescue dog we only had for 2 years, my kids still talk about her and look at her pictures 2 years later. Thanks for letting me share. Also, whatever decision you make will be the right one.

I am so so so sorry for the position you're currently in. I've lost three dogs, two of which were goldens. Two of the dogs were family pets, the third, my own golden that I got when I set out on my own. The first two were put down well past their time. The third, I lost unexpectedly, much too early. Neither situation was better or worse, but I do not envy you for having to make this tough decision. My thoughts are with you and your family, there isn't much that is more difficult than losing a family member.

Sorry to hear this. It's the hardest thing that responsible pet owners will ever have to face. It's important to do the right thing by the dog and makes us better people in the end.

I'm sorry to hear this. I worked for a vet for years and I certainly understand how difficult the decision is. We had so many people schedule those appointments and then call and cancel, I felt their indecisiveness.

Best Wishes

Thank you for writing this. My family's dog and cat passed two years ago and I still miss them terribly. Our cat was at the point where he was literally wasting away, so Mom and Dad made the decision to let him go without pain. Our dog—who was already suffering from seizures—took a turn for the worse once Scratchy was gone. I saw Newton two days before he was too let go and I... just knew. You will know too. It won't hurt any less, but at least you can be comforted that Rusty loves you and your family enough to let you know. I am keeping all of you in my thoughts, and my furry family sends love (and slurps) as well.

I feel for you and your family in this difficult decision making process. I had to put my dog down a month ago. I had her 14 years. I've had her all my adult life so I didn't know what it was like to be an adult without her. She was solely mine, bonded to me, and I took her everywhere. She knew everything about me, and I, her. I think about her all the time. The grief is unbearable. I found some comfort googling "grief dog" etc, and there are some good articles about the grieving process of family pets and what to say to small children. I felt exactly this way about my pup, and as they say "You'll know" when the time is right, after i found myself keep thinking about her life... then I thought to myself, I guess "I know" if I am entertaining these thoughts too often. Also, use a calendar to track her bad days and see if she has more good days or more bad days. THe thought of putting her down myself, and driving her myself, etc really effed with my head, but I stayed grounded telling myself that it was for the best, and it was my decision as her care taker to know the right time, and tell myself I did right by her, and tell myself that she had a good, full life of 14 years in which she was fully taken care of, happy, and never abused. Good luck to you Danny & fam :)

We lost our Jake back in April, but his was more of a wandering off and just not showing back up thing. While I wish we could've said good-bye properly, selfishly I'm kind of glad we didn't. The kids have shed tears, so have we, but it wasn't as traumatic as if we'd had to put him down ourselves. We got the kids a new puppy, which has helped, but I slip and call him Jake all the time. Then my heart hurts a little and I miss his bark when someone drives up and I still hope he'll come lumbering back up the driveway.

My thoughts are with you.

My vet told me many years ago that as long as my dog could eat and go to the bathroom by herself her quality of life was OK as long as she wasn't in pain. I'm 68 and over the years have lost many dogs..old age, bone cancer, etc. and I always had the vet come to the house so that my dog could leave us wrapped in their favorite quilt and my arms. It never hurts any less, no matter how many times it happens. I console myself with the old saying that "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". She's so beautiful..

I feel for you. Our GR is 10 and getting old, like me. We're both getting lame and stiff. She has been a good dog, as I often tell her, and will be a long while yet, I hope. I haven't forgotten her predecessor who died in 1972. I still mourn her at times. We all love dogs, but who knows what they really think of us? Billy Collins, US Poet Laureate, wrote a poem about a dog's death from the dog's point of view.

The Revenant by Billy Collins

I am the dog you put to sleep,
as you like to call the needle of oblivion,
come back to tell you this simple thing:
I never liked you--not one bit.

When I licked your face,
I thought of biting off your nose.
When I watched you toweling yourself dry,
I wanted to leap and unman you with a snap.

I resented the way you moved,
your lack of animal grace,
the way you would sit in a chair and eat,
a napkin on your lap, knife in your hand.

I would have run away,
but I was too weak, a trick you taught me
while I was learning to sit and heel,
and--greatest of insults--shake hands without a hand.

I admit the sight of the leash
would excite me
but only because it meant I was about
to smell things you had never touched.

You do not want to believe this,
but I have no reason to lie.
I hated the car, the rubber toys,
disliked your friends and, worse, your relatives.

The jingling of my tags drove me mad.
You always scratched me in the wrong place.
All I ever wanted from you
was food and fresh water in my metal bowls.

While you slept, I watched you breathe
as the moon rose in the sky.
It took all my strength
not to raise my head and howl.

Now I am free of the collar,
the yellow raincoat, monogrammed sweater,
the absurdity of your lawn,
and that is all you need to know about this place

except what you already supposed
and are glad it did not happen sooner--
that everyone here can read and write,
the dogs in poetry, the cats and the others in prose.

Awww, she's gorgeous. So sweet. We lost our Golden mix, Alex, three summers ago. He was 10, died in my lap during a seizure in the middle of the night. I knew I could get his 84-pound butt in to the truck but it was too far to the 24-hour clinic, and I was alone with two sleeping kids. Nothing I could do but try to make him comfy and after almost 45 minutes of seizing torture tell him it was "ok to go now" And that damn loyal dog hung on until I said that. I knew his brain was gone long before that, but he had a big heart. Ugh- worst night of my life. His hips were getting creaky, but not bad and he'd only had a few seizures prior to that. it wasn't worth what the side effects of medicine would have had on him. We had him cremated and scattered in a huge field of flowers and shady trees. The kids carried his collar around for a week and it threw me every time I heard it jingle. He was my first "baby" and was always with me no matter what -when DH was out for duty and 3- or 6-month cruises. Use to laugh that if I'd stop quick, he'd be up my butt, lol. A year later, we lost his "sister" our husky who was almost 11 (we'd had both of them and a Lab mix as puppies) though she developed sudden illness and nothing to be done except let her go. I wish I'd had that option with Alex, to have had the choice to end his suffering that night with a couple shots and let him just go peacefully. I still miss both of them horribly, and so does their "brother" the lab, who is now 11 and with achy joints and failing eyesight. I don't know if the kids can take losing him, and I'm afraid this coming winter will not be kind to the old boy.

If the decision comes up sooner than later...you know she had a good life and was very loved and that's probably all she ever wanted. I'm sure she knows the decision is not easy and those loving eyes would not judge you.

What would Rusty choose for you, if the roles were reversed? What would she choose for herself?

Sometimes the right decision comes from stillness. Sometimes the right decision is to palliate and manage pain and all the other ailments, until death itself comes visiting. Sometimes a more gracious option is better- it takes courage and compassion either way.

Your vet will almost certainly come to the house or out to the car if you ask. In my experience, including the children as much as possible is wisest, as is taking your time. The time you spend making your decisions beforehand eases the healing afterwards.

I wish I had more words of wisdom; I've been on the other side of your decision-making for a lot of years and with a lot of families, and what I know for sure (at least until I get there), is that I don't want to use all my skill as a cat-whisperer to calm and reassure my own beloved elderly feline soul-mate that it will all be okay if he just holds still for a moment for that final needle. I hope I can choose to let him go on his terms, not mine.

Sigh. We've got to find a way to have them living longer...

We are in this very same situation right now with my baby Cesar. He is not in any pain, but not eating, loosing weight, having a hard time standing. He has good days (fewer and further between now) and bad days.

Not too much anybody can say to make things better. Though I, and many others have been in this same type of situation multiple times. The last time I held my Samoyed/White German Shepard while they injected her. I cried all day and felt sad for some time after that. I know I had to do it, and I'm glad I held her tight and mine was the last face she saw.

On the bright side I now have a new dog that I appreciate more than ever!

It sucks when the very first time you show up at someone's blog, you read that they're about to lose a lovely dog. I'm just bawling. I had to do the very same to a dear, dear cat in January, and whenever I read that anyone has a sick or aging pet, I'm a complete mess. My youngest son, now 16 had been with our cat nearly all his life, after losing the first one the very same way. We all sat on the edge of his small bed together and read Judith Viorst's The Tenth Good Thing About Barney and had a good cry then got a kitten. We haven't gotten a kitten after this last death. I no longer have little kids in the house. I wish you all well...

Like so many others here, this is the dilemma we face right now. Our 10-year-old cat is diabetic and managed to squeak past a major illness in the last three weeks. We weren't sure she was going to make it. Neither was our vet. We knew the diabetes was going to shave several years off her life, but we didn't expect to be having the "should we just let her go?" discussion this soon. She still hasn't bounced back to 100%, and I wonder if she ever will. Her appetite has been sporadic since she got so sick, and isn't at the level it was when she last saw the vet and had drastically improved from our panicked, last-minute appointment the week before. She seems more like herself now, but there's still enough difference in her behavior that I remain concerned. I fear it won't be too much longer before we have to make the toughest choice I've ever faced.

She would never allow herself to be called my baby; she's far too snooty and snobbish for that. (She's very Garfield-esque.) She is, however, my first cat--my first pet, for that matter (the goldfish I had for a month when I was about twelve doesn't quite count). And the day when she's no longer around will be a sad one indeed. I just hope and pray that I know when to make that judgment call.