5
I was prepared to fill this space with a side-splitting entry about my first experience with a dice game called Bunco, regaling you with all sorts of stories about volume and Yukon Jack and uncontrollable cursing.
But we have decided to put Rusty down on Monday morning.
Considering that dreadful choice has made for a pretty agonizing weekend -- certainly not one conducive to humor or levity.
So as not to leave you hanging while we get through this, I've arranged to have my five-year-old self take over the site for a day or two. Take it away, pip squeak...
Um, hi, everyone. My name is Danny. I'm five. I want to be a fireman or a professional baseball player when I grow up, not some dickhole writer. I have a skateboard but I can only ride it sitting down. I like Lucky Charms and Honeycombs cereal but my mom says that stuff has too much sugar in it and she makes us eat boring cereal, like Cheerios and Post Toasties.
I have a crush on my pre-school teacher, which is awkward because her name is Mrs. Christianson -- clearly not the name of someone a Jewish boy should be crushing on. But Mrs. C likes me because I always have my mouth open and, since this is still 1975, I have kick-ass Conan O'Brien hair. And check out my awesome shirt. In about 33 years or so, this style's going to be pretty tits.
I like to watch SWAT and Emergency on TV with my dad, but even those guys aren't as cool as The Fonz. Sometimes I pretend I'm him, and I even pound my sister's head like Fonzie does with the jukebox at Arnold's, but my sister never starts playing music like the jukebox does.
I still suck my thumb, but only because I don't have enough money to buy cigarettes and roll them up in the sleeve of my undershirt like that greasy douchebag from Sha-Na-Na.
Gotta go now. Time to scoot around the neighborhood on my Big Wheel.
(That's what SHE said!)
Bye.
Sorry about Rusty. That's awful. Hang in there. It's a hard thing. I'll be thinking of your family.
Awww man, Danny. Sorry about Rusty.
Also, you were one adorable little kid.
Sorry again about Rusty. I've had to put down two dogs in my lifetime and it sucked both times. I hope you're able to get past it and remember the good times, because I'm sure there were many. Yikes, that came off sounding WAY douchier than I had hoped...
That really sucks. I'm sorry for you and your family. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow.
Dear Five Year Old Danny,
You may not know this right now as your too busy crushing on Jewish school teachers and putting bandaids on your scabby knees from the Big Wheel injuries that will occure when you attempt to skid out on your driveway but you're going to grow up and one day have a family and that family will include a dog. You will love your dog and share many many years with your trusted friend, years that are filled with love and camaraderie. At one point, you will have to make a very difficult decision, one that will fill you with doubt and dread. And when the time comes to make that decision, you will be devastated BUT you will also be strong for your family....and for your trusted friend. I know this because I too had to be strong for a loved and cherished friend.
p.s. You won't grow up to be some dickhole writer. You'll grow up to be a writer with an immense talent, one who makes people laugh and most of all one who inspires other writers.
I will be thinking of you on Monday.
I'm so sorry. Really sorry.
Aww, that's SO hard. So hard.
As for 5, he's a cute kid, but not quite repetitive enough. My five-year-old took over my blog a few posts back and he was a card.
http://alladither.typepad.com/all_adither/2008/07/five-years-old.html
I'm so sorry Danny. That really sucks. I've had to do that as well, and making the decision on the weekend, knowing what you have to do, but having to wait, just makes it that much harder. I'll be thinking of you!
I'll be thinking of your family and Rusty tomorrow.
I'll be thinking of your family... and Rusty... in the morning. My heart goes out to you all.
BTW... I'm not 5 years old! I'm 50 years old... but at the grocery store today I bought Lucky Charms & Honeycombs! For me! Yep! My favorites!
So sorry about Rusty. It's never an easy decision, and worse I'd assume knowing what you're doing to do but not being able to just DO it.
You were a cute kid though! Love the shirt. And the 5 year old attitude! But I hope we'll get to hear about Bunco at some point. I've yet to experience it myself, but apparently it gets a little ... adult!
So sorry about Rusty. Our English Bulldog, Duke, recently died and it was awful.
On a side note, BOW CHICKA WA-WAAA 5 year old Danny. (Or does that make me a pedophile? In which case, nevermind.)
I feel for ya. I've had to put down my fair share of dogs in my lifetime and it's never an easy thing to do. It's amazing how integral they become to your family. I bet you were a mac daddy at 5.
Life is tough.
So sorry for your loss. Rusty is at peace.
Hey! You were CUTE when you were five!
And I'm sorry about Rusty - that's a tough call to have to make.
So sorry about Rusty. That is such a tough decision to have to make. Stupid dogs of ours never have the decency to pass away quietly, they just stick around and love us until we have to help them leave. Even though it hurts like hell now, it does get better.
rusty is the best dog who ever ate rocks. love and hugs and kisses to all of you.
I'm so sorry to hear about Rusty. It sucks that the last kind thing we get to do for them is so damn hard.
I'm de-lurking to send you my deepest sympathies. It's so sad to hear about Rusty. I wish your family all the best during this tough time. I agree with many of the sentiments that it will get better.
Tough decision. Sorry you had to make that call.
Sorry about the dog.
You absolutely look like the photographer just dropped their trousers as the shot was taken.
I'm so very sorry about Rusty. Hugs to all of you.
P.S. Your five year old self is adorable.
Danny,
I am really sad ... I know it is sooo hard ... But you have to keep in mind that Rusty has a wonderful life with you. You all love her as a member of your family (which makes it much more difficult right now, I know ...).
I'll be thinking about you.
Take care,
Val
I'm sorry for your loss.
Sorry about Rusty. I've lost several dogs and each one hurts.
I am so sad about Rusty.
I had to put my sweet girl down a year ago. Now I keep her collar in the back of my underwear drawer. Once in a while I jiggle it, and it sounds like she is with me. It makes me cry, but I do it anyway because I miss her.
If it helps, I am totally crying with you.
Sorry to hear the news about Rusty.
I'm so sorry to hear about Rusty, my thoughts are prayers are with you and the family today..this is tough.
I SO would have had a crush on 5 year old Danny..unless you ate your boogers, did you?
Broken record, but so sorry about Rusty. He was one lucky dog to have such a great family who loves him so much. I'll be thinking of HotWife, Champ, l'Artiste and you.
You were adorable, BTW. That shirt is totally tits.
Would a game of Wordscraper help? I'm available.
What a shame. No, not Rusty...but, that shirt.
Kidding, of course. My heart is heavy for you.
Sorry to hear about Rusty. I am glad that you are able to still find the time to write for us. Hang in there, it will get easier.
So sorry to hear about Rusty.
(And my five year old self would have been totally crushing on your five year old self.)
I've been thinking about you and your family this morning. Hope it goes as well as something like that can...
I'm thinking of you guys this morning.
Fragile Circle:
"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan." -Irving Townsend
Sleep soft dear Rusty - the Rainbow Bridge awaits...
When we bring a pet into our family, we promise to take care of him/her for life. A gentle end to that life is the final way you can take care of Rusty. The hardest thing about it is watching your children grieve. Your family is in our thoughts.
Dear Danny: 33 years from now you're going to have a crap weekend. But don't worry about that now. You just hang in there with Mrs. C -- stranger things have happened.
So, um, do you want to meet behind the swingset (again) at recess?
Sorry to hear about Rusty. I had to put my dog to sleep last Tuesday for Osteosarcoma (bone cancer). Oh man, it hurts.
so sad to hear about Rusty. from what i read here, you gave him a great life! thinking good thoughts for you and the family today.
peace
it's a hard gift to give, but a gift all the same...
my thoughts are with you and yours.
I'm sorry to hear about Rusty. We went through that with our Dobbie a few years ago. You just have to remember that you are doing this for the dog - you can't be selfish and keep them here when they are not well. It's hard, but it gets easier with time.
So sorry about Rusty :-(
I'll be thinking of you and your fam!
Please let me add my condolences as well. Losing a loved one sucks...
Aw fuck man, I'm sorry about your dog. My Dalmatian is getting old and I dread the day I have to make that call.
I won't even watch that Will Smith movie "I Am Legend" because I'm afraid his damn dog is going to get killed. I can watch a movie where countless people get sliced, diced and mangled, but if one dog dies it always gets a little dusty in the room.
Again, sorry.
Sorry about your pup, I know how sad you all must be.
On a side note, I never pictured you as a ginger-iffic kid. Very cute.
Red hair and freckles??? Would have never guessed...
Today's gonna be a rough one. I'm thinking of your family today.
I do not care what kind of smothering peer pressure this post is making me feel, I AM NEVER POSTING A PHOTO OF MYSELF AT THE AGES OF 9, 11, OR 14.
You may feel the need to enhance writing about your five year old self with a photo but I won't. No I won't. Ever. Not ever. You are not the boss of me.
Sitting here sharing my office chair with my very old and sick cat. My throat is tight and there are tears in my eyes after reading this. I will be thinking of you and your family today.
My hair isn't red. It's just an old picture.
Poor sweet Rusty.. Losing a pet is one of the hardest things in life - that innocent bond, that unconditional love. Rest in peace, pups.
And, dude.. I loved sitting on the floor in the living room as a kid listening to my parent's Sha-Na-Na records! Ah, childhood.
I'm sorry about Rusty; I've been there myself. Just keeping giving hugs and loves to Hot Wife and the kids. The pain doesn't ever go away, but it won't always hurt so bad.
Words fail. I'm sorry for your loss. It's hard, really hard. Rusty was blessed to have you, but you were probably more blessed to have her.
Sorry about Rusty Danny. Thoughts and prayers with you and the family.
Sorry for the loss of Rusty. Hoping that both the you of today and the 5 year old you concentrate on the good times and the friendship you shared.
so sorry about Rusty!! on a lighter note- do you still have that shirt!?
Well you had a chin at age 5. I can clearly see it.
Thoughts go out to you all and to Rusty too. Death sucks.
Thinking about you, the family, and your sweet pup. RIP sweet Rusty girl.
Oh I am so sorry about Rusty- I know how hard of a decision that is and even harder to carry out.
*hugs* to you and the family.
PS- As a teacher I would have totally doted on five year old Danny (goofy shirt and all)
I know this sucked a lot, Danny.
It's just the worst, isn't it? Ya' give your pet your heart and then you have to break it yourself.
Thoughts to you and the family.
Aw, so sad about Rusty. I imagine it's been a tough few days for all of you. RIP Rusty. You seemed like a great dog.
P.S. Randolph Mantooth was always way cooler than The Fonz.
I am so sorry. I'm sure that Jimbo is taking good care of Rusty now. Rest in peace, Jimbo and Rusty.
Sorry about your dog Danny. Its always rough to lose a pet.
Oh man...Danny, I'm so sorry. Godspeed, Rusty...travel on, sweet loving soul.
And Dan--my 5-year-old self would have had a big crush on your 5-year-old self. Just sayin'.
I think that's one of the most difficult decisions to make, but you know you're doing good by Rusty. FWIW, when we lost our 16.5 year old cat earlier this year, we took the kids (5 and 9) to a local ceramics-painting place and let them paint a kitty-shaped box, into which went Hamlet's ashes. (I know that sounds freaky for some, but it was the right choice for our fam.) The box sits on our mantle next to a couple of Hamlet's favorite toys. It was my hubby's idea, and it worked brilliantly to give the kids closure and feel like they were doing one last thing for our furry little guy.
Rest in peace, Rusty.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Dear 5 year old Danny, you grow up to be one of my favorite people.
I'm so, so sorry about your sweet dog. That's the hardest decision to have to make but I know it's the right one...the hardest for you but the best one for your dog.
I'm just so sorry it's a decision you ever had to make.
So sorry to read about your dog..On a lighter note, your picture is cute. You have James Bond hair (or how my 13 year old boy used to call it).
Danny, I am so sorry about Rusty. I hope you and the family are holding up.
And you were wicked cute when you were little.
So sorry about Rusty. He looked like a great dog who lived a great life.
Thinking of you all today. I know how hard this can be. Its so hard to make that call, but when they are suffering its so hard to watch that day after day as well. No matter what people say, animals are our family. It just sucks to have to make that decision to put them to rest. Again, we are sighing a little heavier and remembering you and our own pets that are not with us any more. Hang in there:)
On a lighter note: What a cute little guy you were and you "grow'd" up to be a a great writer. My husband and I love your site.
My 5-year old self also had a crush on his kindergarten teacher. The best part? Her name was Miss Sexton. Talk about sending a signal!
Sorry about Rusty!
I'm so sorry about Rusty. You all must be crying your eyes out tonight.
5 year old you pretty much rocks.
So does the earlier Irving Townsend quote. Speaks to the heart.
That's all I have to say about that.
I'm crying with you. Just knowing what you're going through is heart-wrenching. The poetic time ... The decision sucks hard although it's done in pure love. It hurts and nothing helps ... My family and I are thinking about you and yours.
So, so sorry about your loss of Rusty.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Rusty lives on in your hearts and memories.
I'm sorry about you dog, even more so because she looks so much like my dog we put down when I was about 2 years older than you were in this otherwise hilarious post.
As for the second part of your post, if I ever steal this idea for a less-amusing post of my own, know that it's with the highest respect and deference to your understated skills.
Oh Danny and family, I'm so sorry it was time. I've been through it myself, and quite frankly, it sucks. Know we're all thinking of you, and wishing you well as you deal with this sorrow.
And five-year-old Danny? Totally a hottie. I'd have been crushing on you when I was that age. LOL.
Five year old Danny has a surprising grasp on the English language.
Sorry, man. That's tough. I had a Rusty. Actually I had two Rustys. Thinking about your family.
Sorry to hear about Rusty....I never understood how people could get so attached to animals until I got my own. I have 3 dogs and and 1 human child and they are all my babies!!!!
I know this totally Hoovers. So sorry. Someday the memories will be more bitter than sweet, I'm sure.