Operation!
Has anyone else noticed that the world is coming to an end? It’s hard to tell the business section of the newspaper from the obituaries these days, and the tentacles of this economic grand mal are beginning to touch good friends of mine. Long-term unemployment, major belt-tightening, and general sense of dread seem to have become genuine realities for everyone.
But fear not, my good friends! I have a solution.
Quick economics question: What is the currency of blogging?
Is it the number of ads in your sidebar? Links? Pictures of yourself taken with Photo Booth? No.
Comments. Comments are the currency of blogging.
Each of us blogs for a different reason, but I dare say most of us do it because it gives us a connection to others – a connection that is built and fostered by the people who read our sites and show their appreciation. The writers who get hundreds of comments on each post seem to be treated as the blogging upper class – as the wealthy. We get jealous of those people, criticize them for failing to respond to our attempts to get their attention, and accuse them of being aloof and self-absorbed. There is most certainly a class structure in the blog world, and none of us wants to feel like a serf.
Well, my fellow blogger types, I have a plan to make us all rich. At least for the rest of the month.
We shall hereby commence Operation: Comment Your Balls/Boobs Off! (Depending on your gender.)
The holidays are approaching and we don’t have the dinero to buy a gift for everyone. Therefore, our gift to all of our little friends inside the computer is simply to stop by and show our support with a quick little comment. It will take one minute, but the buzz will stay with that blogger and keep them warm through the cold late December chill. (Oddly, I’m hearing reports that the six-pound, eight-ounce baby Jesus has busted out the perky nipples at many nativity scenes back east have been, but it was in the mid 70s in my city today. I’m wearing shorts.)
I would especially like to challenge the aforementioned “upper class” bloggers, for whom receiving a wave of comments is old hat, to participate in Operation: Comment Your Balls/Boobs Off! (Depending on your gender.) Spread goodness. Be accessible. I know from personal experience that some of our fellow writers (especially those with low-traffic sites) are deeply moved when we make them aware that we’ve come through. Shit, when Heather Armstrong left a comment on my site three or four years ago, I nearly swallowed my tongue.
This will be the holiday cheer of the depressed economy. If you are particularly creative, you may wish to design some whimsical little banners and buttons commemorating this movement. Or, like me, you may have ten thumbs. However you choose to engage, I hope you’ll at least participate with a few extra comments – NOT HERE, but out there, where people can use a little extra warmth in an otherwise cold environment. There might be a lump of coal in the Christmas stocking, but there will be a smile on their face.
'scuse me for one sec. (baaaaaaaarrrrrrfffffff!) OK, where were we?
I hereby declare that Operation: Comment Your Balls/Boobs Off! (Depending on your gender) shall commence immediately and continue until Jan. 1, 2009.
If you fail to participate, we will come after you and pee in your eggnog. Fair warning.
Go! Comment!
Well, I don't like eggnogg anyways, but I can do this :)
I'll comment elsewhere too, but it makes sense to comment on the post starting the commenting, right? Do I get a reduction on my 2009 health insurance costs for taking part in this operation? -B
Even if you think you don't need it, I know better of you Danny Evans. Everyone likes comment love. And everyone loves to be verbally fellated.
Sidenote: I had an anatomy test last night on the reproductive systems. Which included your friend the vas deferns. And I thought of you and your vasectomy. IN.THE.MIDDLE.OF.THE.TEST!!!
That is sick! I don't even KNOW YOU!
I love this idea. It's hard for me to admit that every little comment makes my day, and I hate that I don't comment on other blogs very often, mainly due to laziness. But! I am going to participate wholeheartedly in Operation: CYBBO (DOYG)! I plan on fully commenting my boobs off...they're small, but they have a lot to say.
Allow me to comment first. And when I finally figure out how to start my own blog - defining in my own mind, at least, my "voice..." remember me when I come sniffing around for comments of my own.
Merry Christmas!
Count me in!
Hello, by the way. Great blog!
Okay, so...I don't really want to comment my boobs off, I'm a little attached to what I can barely squeeze into a B cup as it is, but what the hell, I'll play along. If Danny Evans can refer to both the baby Jesus and nipples in the same sentence, who am I to stay out of the fray. Carry on.
Ok, I'll buzz by all my favorite blogs and comment. You're experiment is exactly the kind of thing that will get us through these crazy days. Reaching out and being kind, simple but powerful.
Danny, thanks for the idea and encouragement,
Todd
Dude, it cracks me up that you mentioned Baby Jesus and Christmas and you are Jewish.
Great idea. But that means if you don't personally comment on all of our measly little blogs we get free copies of the book. Deal?
I, for one, am thankful there's no eggnog in my fridge for anyone to pee in. The apple juice and beer, on the other hand, have me nervous.
Brilliant! It'll give me something to do with the boobage, since it's just sitting here idle anyway!
So nice. I'll be over at my blog waiting for my balls and boobs. Or is that not how it works?
I am a very small time blogger, I just started in May, but I really enjoy the community and what it brings to me. I do my best to comment back to anyone who has taken the time to leave one for me. Great idea! Thanks!
But Danny, I like having balls! Can I comment up to the point where they FEEL like they are going to fall off?
Great idea, bro! Since I just got laid off this week (yes, I'm whooorin' just a litte) http://irishgumbo.blogspot.com/2008/12/woo-hoo-everybody-i-got-laidoff.html
I'm all over this! In fact I just spent the last two hours commenting and blogging. Santa better be real good to me this year.
Salut!
So what are you going to do with the collected balls and boobs?
Here's a free comment for you! Love your blog! You make me laugh out loud and shoot milk out my nose sometimes. That's REAL comedy.
I guess since I have a pair of size D's, I've got enough to spare for you and the other bloggers!
Happy Festivus!
This is a comment. If someone looks like the BEFORE pictures on Biggest Loser, will you accept man-boobs?
Sounds like a great idea.
I have to say, I do decent traffic but not a ton of comments and I really like comments, not chirping crickets out there.
COFFEEEEEEEEEE
i WOULD comment my boobs off, but my little baby needs them. since possession = 9/10 of the law, i will humbly offer up my husband's balls. humbly, self-preservationally, whatever. but can we please have them back in 2-3 years for baby #2? thanks. i love you.
OK, here's irony for you: I had my vasectomy a week ago. One week. So in a sense, I already gave at the office.
But, I comment my balls off as a general rule.
Dude, I'm a total comment whore. I make the rounds, I comment my boobs off. You don't need to tell me twice. I'm off to do good. To spread my...
Here's a comment from a non-upper class blogger. (Did not want to claim "lower" class!) I accept your challenge to step out of my google reader and comment away!
Please don't pee in my eggnog. I can barely choke it down as it is. Love your site. Have been reading it for a long time. This is my 2nd or 3rd comment. Happy holidays to you and your family.
Alrighty, my boobs are ready!
I have some boobs to spare, so what the hell!
I feel like Elaine on Seinfeld after she realized some nipple was showing in her Christmas card photo.
"You want a Christmas card? You want a Christmas card? Here's your Christmas card!!!"
This is a great idea! Comments would be like the greatest holiday present ever. I guess I'll have to stop using my blackberry to catch up on blogs, so I can comment even more.
I'm a small potatoes blogger, so comments make my day (yeah, I'm a dork: what's your point?). I comment quite a bit, but I'll definitely make an effort to comment more and lurk less. :)
And, so, YOU're going to start commenting on other people's blogs? I'll believe it when I see it.
Also, funny how you announce this just as BlogHer announces a decrease in revenue share with bloggers. BITCHES.
My balls are busting....(even though I am female) BECAUSE THE SHARKS KICKED SOME DUCK ASS AND I HAD TICKETS....not just any tickets, but the $109 ones right next to the DUCKS penalty box so I could chant, wag my finger and make faces when they waddled in to do their time. BUT, as every one knows, when your kid returns from college on the said day you were given tickets for....and your son's basketball game ends with time to get him there by the start of 2nd period....you do what every good mom does....and give up your God given right to the tickets and listen to the game on the way home from dropping your kid off at the SHARK TANK. Amen.
Aww, isn't that sweet? You're sharing the love...urp...barf...
Seriously, that's a cool thing to do, and I hope it catches on. I already read and comment on a few dozen blogs daily, but if the Evil Genius doesn't insist on being fed real, nutritious meals (what do you mean, Cheez-Its aren't a food group???) on a regular basis, I bet I can squeeze some more in...
Shade and Sweetwater,
K (who is trying to figure out how she can segue this into non-blog currency for those who are living Net free, 'cause she's as broke as broke can be, oh well)
This is a great idea, and I will be sure to stop backsliding and comment everywhere I visit, as a show of solidarity.
Incidentally, I can promise you I would add your name to my own private List of Blogging Heroes who have commented at my blog, were you to stop by. Maybe someday I'll be able to stir up a rivalry in the upper class by hinting at a hard and fast ranking of those on that list.
Who's the biggest of the big? Sweet Juniper? Looky Daddy? Jenny the Bloggess? Black Hockey Jesus? Steve from The Sneeze? Wouldn't you all just love to know? sniffle... wouldn't you?
Anyway, I think I'll be staying away from egg nog for awhile, just in case anyone jumps the gun at all, but I'll be out there dropping singles into tin cups with the best of them.
P.S. Does this mean that as of January 1, I will no longer need to adjust myself, in public or otherwise?
Nice idea, DGM! I don't mind being thrown a bone every once in awhile and I will certainly try my best to be a little more active on the web. Too bad my most recent post revolves around a singing gynecologist. I'm going to scare people away!
You may have noticed over the last few months that it seemed as if someone was out there reading EVERY WORD YOU'VE EVER WRITTEN (on this blog anyway.) Well, that was me. Guilty as charged! I stumbled across your blog a few months ago and I liked what I saw so much I wanted to start from the beginning. I've often been tempted to comment on your blog posts, but since I was reading them months or years after the fact it seemed a little silly.
Anyway, I LOVE your blog, always makes me laugh and I'm happy to be delurking for the first time to say that I love this idea, though, I am rather attached to my balls... I'll make a concerted effort to comment more frequently all the same. Your my blogging hero! Keep the good stuff coming! Can't wait to read your book!
I think this takes Christmas back to the old school, where we're supposed to spread good cheer or whatever and be nice to our fellow man/person (not trample people to death trying to get a cheap Elmo Live™). So good cheer!
Great idea, but............ can I just keep my balls? I mean, they are attached and...well.... my wife said it was okay for me to keep them.
I kinda like my boobs, but I'd be willing to loan them out for the next few weeks.
I had a blog, for about a half hour once. Finding comments was better than chocolates and flowers at the front desk, as I recall.
Your blog is bracing and funny and always a pleasure to peruse. Also I admire any man who not only accepts fatherhood, but takes active pride in the role. I also admire the discipline and guts it took to sit down and write a whole book, which, btw, is a good read and worth the $$.
That is all I care to say right now, if anyone needs me, I shall be lurking at my usual post.
Atmikha
I'll comment, but I really don't want my boobs to fall off. They're not that big and I kinda need 'em.
Now this, THIS is something I can get on board with. And who knows... maybe a certain "upper class" blogger will finally comment (or even visit) my site?
(Said the asshole who reads in a feed reader and rarely comments himself.)
A great idea. So I'll start with my first comment here. (I'm new. I like this place.)
Ok, I admit, I've been coming here quick frequently and usually don't comment. But today, I am. There. Leave my eggnog alone. Just kidding, I don't drink it.
You know, if I did the math right, I think the ratio of people who actually leave a comment, compared to the hits my site meter gets, is something like less than one-half of one percent. And while I squinch a little in embarrassment to admit that I even NOTICE, let alone care, I have to wonder .... is what I have to say so profoundly UNinteresting that people just can't be bothered to comment? Or is it that the other 99.5 % of people just get busy? Or is my mom hitting the refresh counter several hundred times a day and I don't have that many visitors after all??? (serious consideration given to that possibility.) :)
So, in the vein that everyone else gets busy, and I'm guilty of the same thing, I accept your challenge and will be leaving boobage on blogs all over the country the next few weeks. I'm a little chubby, it will be ok.
Here's my comment to you! Now you must comment on mine!!!
What a great idea. My boobs accept your challenge.
Delurking to say . . . you crack me up!!!!
Well, I comment on the blogs of individuals I know personally, so I will be ballsy and comment on the blog of someone I don't know. So, um, hi Danny. I think I commented on here once before. I'm not sure. And I love your blog! It's been in my google reader for eons. As a single 27-year old with no children, I still somehow relate to what you say. Funny that. Happy Hanukkah. And Merry Christmas to me.