My son and I were lying on the couch last night, watching
hockey and relaxing at the end of a long Monday.
“Hey,” I said, “do you want to know what Mrs. Robinson said
about you at our parent-teacher conference today?”
“Did she say I’m awesome?”
“Basically, yeah. She said you’re a pleasure to have in
class.”
He pumped his fist victoriously. “What else?”
“She said you’re a fantastic reader, a good writer, and that
you’re doing well in math and science. Lots of good things.”
“Did she say anything bad?”
“What do you think?”
“Talking.”
“Exactly,” I said. “She said you need to work harder on
talking at the appropriate times because you’re a leader and when you start
chatting during class, the other kids do the same thing and it creates a big
problem for Mrs. Robinson. Can you work on that please?”
He shakes his head yes.
“One other problem,” I said.
“What?”
“She said you have terrible gas and you need to stop farting
in class.”
“Nuh-UH!”
“Yep. She said you pooter all the time and a few times she’s
even had to evacuate the classroom because your stinky butt makes it hard for
your classmates to breathe.”
“Dad! You’re making that up!”
“Am I? Really, bud? Because I live with you and I’ve smelled
you toots and honestly? I believe her.”
“OK, first of all, YOU’RE the one with the stinky farts,
daddy!”
“[Gasp] How dare you!”
“And second of all, there’s no WAY my teacher would say that
to you. She’d get fired.”
“For telling the truth?”
“Dad! I do not fart in class!”
“So you’re calling Mrs. Robinson a liar?”
“No, I’m calling YOU a liar.”
“[Gasp] How dare you!”
Suddenly, his face freezes. Five seconds pass.
“Hey, dad.”
“What?”
Fbrrrrrraaaappp!
“I rest my case, stinkybutt.”
Ha! Sooo cute!
That was so funny! Glad the son is doing well in school!
Great, now the "Mrs. Robinson" song is stuck in my head. Nothing like oldies music and a good fart story!
Hilarious! I have a friend that drives a school bus, and she has had a little girl throw up on the bus because the boy sitting in front of her had awful gas.
I see you're teaching him well.
Excellent! As mom of two young boys we are very big on fart humor. My parent/teacher conference is next week....I'm so trying that on my oldest (7 in 2nd grade!!)
This would be funny, except my DAUGHTER'S kindergarten teacher actually did have to speak to her about the farting. As in "Please do not lift a cheek and fart during circle time, sweetheart. You need to leave the room for that."
I blame her father.
We actually used to call our first daughter toots-magoo. But now she's moved on to burping instead.
I totally fell for you! My three and a half year old BOY, who is all BOY, feels the need to share with EVERYONE within ear shot that he tooted! This past weekend, while he was playing with one of my husband's co-workers, he turned around and put his toosh against his shin and let one rip! Then he yells, "I tooted on you Mr. Cody!!" and laughs himself silly. We are a little concerned since he will be starting Pre-K next fall. I can see already that I will be getting lots of phone calls from the teacher. To add insult to injury, when he does toot, instead of saying "excuse me" the way he does when he burps, he just laughs and says "Tooter McGruder," which is the little pet name I used to call him as an infant, cause he was really gassy. And they say children can't remember things from when they are an infant. I beg to differ!
LMAO! I fear I will be having this conversation w/ my DAUGHTER when she starts school. Not only is she a talker and a leader, but omg, she drops the worst bombs....the dogs even clear out!
I have a cousin who's damn proud of her ability to fart on demand. Yes, you read that correctly -FART. ON. DEMAND.
Some people are just to talented I tell you.
Although Ms. Robinson is likely a made-up name, yelling out "Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson" before letting it rip would be EPIC!
Love it. I actually stuck my butt in the shower the other night and farted while my 7 year old was in there. She didn't even see me. Five seconds later... "UHHHHHHH! DAD!!!" Good times.
That is awesome. I just can't let my husband and son know I think so.
lol... love it!!
I always wanted to know how you spell "Fbrrrrrraaaappp" and I guess now I know.
That is hilarious...I have a chatty cathy son myself.
We constantly have the 'When is the appropriate time to talk in school?' conversation.
As for the other issue - I'd like to remain blissfully ignorant if it's going on. :)
I've never laughed so loud for so long at a blog entry. freaking hilarious. where is your rss subscribe feed thingy?
You should put warnings on these for those of us who read at the office... I can't laugh like that and expect my boss to think I'm researching the tax base and property valuations! :)