I’m sitting in a room with six kids. Well, they probably don’t
consider themselves kids—they’re seventh and eighth graders—but to me, yes.
Kids. I am their teacher, which is as weird for me to say as anything I’ve ever
said. I’m not what one would typically call “teacher material.” More like “class
clown material.” Or “I have a stomach ache and I need to go see the school
nurse” material.
Neveretheless, here I am, teaching these kids how to blog. As
I write this, three of them are hammering away on their laptop keyboards and
the other two are writing longhand with big, fat pens and stolen pristine white
printer paper. To make them feel like we’re all in this together, I’m blogging
too. Hi.
(One of my students truly just asked me this question: “Is ‘butthole’
one word or two?’ I think my work here is done.)
For those who know me or have read my book, the notion that
I would be teaching a class to impressionable youngsters at A HEBREW SCHOOL might
seem…apocalyptic. Yet here I am, and here they are, and oh my GOD how hypocritical
can one be? I may as well just create a blog called DEPRESSION IS A MYTH and
sell ads to big pharma.
One of the students just broke out the Skittles. I’m going
to confiscate them and snarf them after class.
Save the red ones for me!
I bought your book 2 days ago at Barnes and Nobles. I haven't even started it yet. I don't want to. Not yet. I know I will have it read in 1 day. And then it will be over. That makes me sad. So I'm just looking at it. For now.
It always amazes me, too, that people think I'm an adult. Responsible. Capable of giving direction to those younger or less experienced. Hahahahahaha! I like the yellow skittles, please.
What are you teaching them to blog with? I need to take your class so I can teach my computer lab kids...I like the green ones please.
I wish I could go back to school and have you as a teacher.
שאלוהים יעזור לילדים
I OBVIOUSLY went to the wrong kind of school as a child.
I was pretty sure I was making it up when I read on Twitter that you were teaching kids about blogging. Good to know I wasn't. I'm concerned to know what happens when those nice little Jewish children look you up though. Think of their impressionable minds! Well, except for the "butthole" kid. He'll probably be okay.
Purple skittles, the green taste like Lysol smells to me. Probably some suppressed memory from my childhood.
Out-Numbered, when are you going to tell us what you wrote? Or do I have to ask my Rabbi?
With great wisdom comes great responsibility, Spiderman. Young, impressionable minds at your disposal, ah the joy! I predict several posts' worth of material from this experience.
I hate this expression but lol...I've been there
only in my case it was called Alternative Education...
if only they knew....
inmates guarding the prison...
@Hot Wife... http://tinyurl.com/y9awf8f
To translate for hotwife, he is expressing his misgivings about the future of our youth given your husband's teachings. ie G dash D help the children.
I'm sure they'll learn a lot from you though. lol.
That sounds like fun. I like that the kid is using words like butthole already. My spell check doesn't know the word either. Stupid spell check.
Check you out
I worked for a while as a security guard in an elementary school. One day, an 11-year-old came up to me and started asking boy-girl questions. I just told him the truth, hoping it would help: adults pretend they know stuff, when really, they have the same problems. They're mostly just too busy to care about their problems.
I have the secret special skills needed to read Out-Numbered's comment!
And I wrote a short paragraph and a half about this blog. (Hope you don't mind I stole a picture.)
I'm going to have to disagree with Out-Numbered. This gives me great hope for the future. I'm pretty sure if everyone stuck to Skittles and buttholes (though, not at the same time) there would be peace on earth.
Skittles rock!
I'm dying to know. What was Lesson #1?
We threw cupcakes and sat on whoopie cushions whenver the teacher left the room in Hebrew School. If they'd taught us about blogging, I know we would have been much better behaved!
I also spell-checked the word butthole. there's no such word. I guess linguistics evolve faster than computers.
I really need to buy your book.
I think I need to see your book too. Your posts are excellent.
My kid is in that class. Did she have the skittles?